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***
The black, twisted towers of Harrenhal resembled a gigantic heel from afar. Tyrion looked round at his companions: Shagga of the Stone Crows, Chella of the Black-Eared, Timett of the Burnt. And, of course, Bronn.
- Well, here we are. Time to meet my lord father.
After crossing the Moon Mountains and reaching the inn at the crossroads, the same one where he had been deprived of his freedom, Tyrion found it burnt and the landlady, Masha Hedl, hanged. The soldiers were nowhere to be seen: having killed all the men and taken all their valuables, they had gone back across the river. Back at Eagle's Nest, Tyrion had heard of King Robert's death and the war that had begun, but he had no idea of the progress of the fighting or the current position of the armies. As far as Tyrion knew, the Lannisters were pitted against three great houses at once: the Baratheons, the Starks, and the Tullys. Together they outnumbered the lions, but individually they were each inferior; so Father would try to defeat them one by one. And the first target should be the Tullys.
Tyrion stomped a little at the crossroads - he was literally at a crossroads. The road to the left led to the capital. His sister, nephews, and cousin Lancel were waiting for him there. The road to the right led to Riverrun, perhaps already besieged by the Lannisters. But closest lay Harrenhal, a gigantic castle capable of holding an entire army. It was strategically positioned to control the Kingsroad and the Trident crossing, which meant Father must be there.
- Tyrion,' Lord Tywin greeted him coldly. - I see you managed to escape captivity.
- It was a thrilling story, Father.
- With drinking and whores, I'm sure. Spare me the details. Why did you let yourself be captured in the first place? Don't you realise the shame you've brought upon your family?
Tyrion chose not to answer. After introducing his new friends to his father, he poured himself a glass of wine and asked about the news.
- Your brother has covered himself in glory,' his father said proudly. - The River Lords are defeated, Riverrun is besieged. Eddard Stark cannot come to their aid without a deal with Walder Frey, and the old man is neutral. My guess is Stark will march south and try to cross the Trident. I'll meet him at Ruby Broad and drive him back.
- Why didn't you cross the Trident yourself and meet him, Father?
- Because of Stannis Baratheon. He sailed from Storm's End with 30,000 men and is heading for the capital. Your cousin Lancel has taken over the city guard and the defences, but he can't hold the city without my help.
- Lancel? - Tyrion marvelled. - Lancel is leading the defences?
- Ser Lancel,' his father said proudly. - Cersei made him a knight and appointed him master of the law. I admit I thought her decision was wrong at first, but the boy is doing surprisingly well. He's not Stannis, though, and three thousand swords is not thirty. If I don't get behind Stannis in time, King's Landing will fall.
- I don't get it, Father. One minute you're fighting Stark at the Trident, the next you're fighting Stannis at the walls of the capital. You want to be in two places at once?
Lord Tywin frowned.
- Of course not. I will take my enemies down one by one.
- If they are kind enough to allow you to do so. And if they don't?
- Then I will choose Stannis. The defence of the capital is a priority.
- Meanwhile, the Northmen will cross the river and follow in your footsteps. Stark will be the hammer, Stannis the anvil, and you, Father, risk being right in the middle.
Father stared at him with a cold, unblinking gaze.
- What do you suggest?
- To end the siege of Riverrun as soon as possible and merge the two parts of our army into one.
- And how, I wonder, do you plan to do that?
- Just a thought,' he said, evasively, 'I have an idea. Give me some fresh horses, Father, and I'll ride to Jaime and tell him all about it.
- You want to ride to Jaime, ride. But take better guards. The Riverlands are hostile to us, and I don't want you captured again.
- How thoughtful of you, Father. Will you give me your men or let me choose my own guards?
- Take such escorts as you see fit. Within reason, of course.
- Thank you, Father. One more question and I'll be on my way. Where is Stark's army now?
- Probably somewhere near the Twins. Lord Eddard left the Cailin moat ten days ago.
- Well, then we have every chance of success. I hope the defenders of Riverrun can calculate the movement of armies by the day as well as you can, Father.
- What are you getting at?
Tyrion smirked.
- Even dwarves have secrets, Father. In time, you will learn everything.
***
Before setting off, Tyrion decided to tidy himself up. He hadn't had a chance to wash in all the time he'd been travelling the mountains and sitting in the sky chamber; his whole body itched. Tyrion sank into the huge bathtub, as if it had been made for giants. The hot water was steaming. Relaxing his body, Tyrion stretched his mind and thought once more of his ever-surprising cousin. Ser Lancel, master of the law. Why would Cersei favour him so much? Yes, it was possible he was fucking her-but Cersei wouldn't have spread her legs for him if he hadn't done her a favour. A favour of considerable value, judging by the reward. What have you gotten yourself into, my young kinsman?
Or is it not a relative? A few months ago, Lancel had grown up very sharply, so sharply that Tyrion had suspected that a Faceless One was hiding beneath his cousin's guise: some legends attributed that ability to them. But such an assumption seemed too delusional. It was easier to believe in gramkins and snares. Besides, Lancel hadn't done anything unusual or frightening in the past months. The boy was behaving normally: training with other squires, visiting brothels, trying to please the king and possibly the queen. A normal teenager... but also quite intelligent, as well as cunning and ambitious. Well, he's a Lannister. That's a relative to be proud of. A master of the law at fifteen! Jaime had become a Kingsguard at that age, and Tyrion... Tyrion was in charge of the drains at Casterly Rock. Laughing bitterly, he soaped up a flannel and began scrubbing furiously.
Even if Lancel isn't Faceless, he's still dangerous. Yes, dangerous. The incident at the boar hunt? Even Jaime thought he was suspicious. And Theon Greyjoy? His friendship with him didn't stop his cousin from ordering his arrest. Didn't Lancel concoct the deliciously brazen Stark conspiracy lie, and didn't he force Theon to tell it by threat or torture? Greyjoy's testimony not only absolved Cersei of guilt (Robert was undoubtedly killed by her), but also cast a shadow over Stannis's seemingly flawless arguments. The sister, for all her lowly cunning, would not have had the wit to do such a thing.
If Lancel has found a scapegoat for Cersei, he must be aware of the details of the murder. Or even an accomplice. It's a good pairing, snake and snake. I just wish the sister was really into him. Then there's a chance she'll leave Jaime alone. It's high time the naive older brother was free of her corrosive influence.
Tyrion climbed out of the bath, dressed, and went out into the courtyard. The Stone Crows seemed to be at odds with one of his father's mercenaries, the Brave Boys: Shagga was snarling at Vargo Hout, the leader of the latter. Bronn, picking his nose lazily, watched the fight.
- My Lord Lannishter! - Howth whispered. - Tell your savages to leave us alone!
- What's the matter, Shagga?
- The half-husband, he says Shagga stinks. Shagga's gonna cut off his manhood and feed it to a goat.
- I'll cut something off for you,'' Howat said. - Brave Men, come to me!
Three men came running to the leader's call: Timaeon of Dornish, Faithful Utsivok in a cloak of human skin, and Fat DADA of Dothraki. Together with Hout, they formed a semicircle and began pushing Shagga against the wall.
Indeed. He'd clearly inherited his father's talent for finding troublesome allies.
- Enough! - Tyrion shouted. - Howth, you and your men are coming with me. My father has given me permission to take any escort I wish,' he grinned. - My father is afraid that I will disgrace him again by being kidnapped again.
More importantly, these not-so-valuable mercenaries will be perfect for his plan.