*Tak, Tak, Tak*
Daichi watched Alicia walk away, slowly reaching the door.
*Clack*
The door closed once again, leaving him alone on the rooftop. Just like back then.
However, contrary to that time, he was not feeling any bit of gratitude, respect, admiration, and hope instead, his heart was just hollow, void of emotion.
All that remained in him was pain, suffering, sorrow, depression, and despair.
Soon, tears started falling down his watery eyes to his reddish cheeks.
'Hic... What was I expecting? ... Hic. Just what was I expecting to happen? ,' asked Daichi, holding his cries.
He knew he had almost no chance with her but he didn't want to have any regrets later.
'If only I stood quiet...Hic... If only I didn't ask her to come...Hic...If only I stood by the side and watched her from afar like everyone...
No. If only I didn't meet her at that time, maybe things wouldn't turn out like this,' he assumed, 'Now it's too late and I don't think I could ever look her in the eyes again'.
Every word has been said and their relationship was cleared.
There was no more room for talking and chatting with each other, no more room for hope and delusions, and no more room for happiness.
Only an unpleasant feeling of helplessness, sorrow, regret, and shame.
Tears continued dropping, nose continued running and the body continued trembling until they couldn't anymore.
*******
Daichi sat on the flat ground, arms hugging the thighs, eyes staring soullessly at the sky.
"I'm tired, so tired..." he said, '... I just want to... disappear...forever.
"No one would ever miss me anyway," assumed Daichi, head down.
He had no friends, no close classmates or teachers, and no relatives outside of his parents.
'I'm sure even they would forget me in the end,' he thought, 'It has always been like that.'
Throughout his life, Daichi has never maintained any relationship with anyone no matter who it was.
Starting with his childhood friend, Minami, a gentle and caring girl who was also his neighbor and first crush.
Despite all those years spent together, she ended up being the first person to reject him, leaving a deep scar on his heart.
Following that, were the so-called friends he used to hang out with.
They were only using him to get what they wanted and didn't bother throwing him away the moment he became useless to them.
Then, his first crush in high school, Kaori, who was the first classmate to approach him, started dating his best friend, the only one he could make in the private school.
Not to mention the gal group who used to tease him all the time cut him off the moment they realized he was getting too attached.
Even the cute and innocent Hanabi…
The only junior who would even approach him, asking for help every time she had something on her mind or wanted to talk, straight up ghosted him in front of her friends.
That last event was the fatal blow that pushed him to suicide that day.
It was thanks to Alicia, his light of hope and the person he admired the most in this God-forsaken school, full of snobs and wannabes, that he managed to get over his depression and move on.
Never in his life could he have imagined that even she would treat him like everybody else.
He had no one left.
Only him, sitting there like a pariah, an outcast of society living a bland life without purpose.
'If it's like this then, what is the meaning of this life?' Daichi thought.
For someone like him who had no particular talents, no social life, and no dreams or goals to achieve, there was only one thing left to do.
"I have enough," he declared before getting up, 'I just... can't take it anymore...'
He held his chest tightly as if it was going to fall apart.
His heart was hollow, his mind broken to the point of no return, his soul wavering like a dying fire waiting for its end.
*Tak, tak, tak*
His steps were heavy, his body sluggish and his vision blurry.
The only thing he could perceive was the metal fence in front of him.
*Grab*
After reaching his hand out and holding tight, he said,
"Let's...end everything there".
He had made up his mind and nothing was stopping him from doing it this time.
All he had to do was to slowly climb up and get to the other side.
It was a little hard but not an impossible task.
Slowly but surely, Daichi would soon reach the other side of the fence.
*Thud*
His feet landed on the borders outside the security limits.
*Phew*
"Made it," he said.
The space was enough for him to fit in without a problem.
"Now..." Taking the bars as support, he turned around, and as his gaze met the sky,
*Whoooooo*
"Beautiful!" he exclaimed.
The view was so clear as the sun shone so bright, showing of the vibrant colors of the sky. All that added to the gentle wind blowing on his face...
'Hah…So relaxing,' he thought, leaning on the fence, eyes closed.
For a moment, he felt like all his worries were fading away.
Nothing mattered more at that point.
'I wish time would stop there,' he thought, 'so that I can stay like this forever'
But, nothing could erase those memories nor the pain that his heart was feeling.
Not even in this moment of absolute peace.
"Sorry, Mom and Dad...I did the best I could but... It still wasn't enough," he said with teary eyes,
"So please, let me rest now."
Daichi took a deep breath, opened his eyes, and leaned forward.
Just when he was ready to jump,
*TLING!*
"Wha…" He gasped.
Something ringed loudly in his head like a bell. The shock was so sudden that his whole body went numb and lost its balance.
When his eyes met the ground hundreds below, he understood, 'This is it. I'm going to die.'
Strangely enough, he was feeling no fear, no regrets, not even a once of emotion, he simply felt nothing, as if, the void had taken over him.
All he could do was to close his eyes and wait for death, arms opened.
Then,
*Swoosh*
*Grab!*
His hands gripped on the metal bars previously supporting him, with all his might!
'What... is going on? What am 'I doing right now?' He asked, all confused.
His hands were glued to the fence and had no intention of letting go, his arms were pumped with blood and full of veins pupping out, his eyes were wide open and his mind clear as the sky above.
*Ba-dump, Ba-dump, Ba-dump*
'This feeling…' Daichi could feel it.
The unusual surge of strength, the unbelievable willpower, and the intense desire to live he never felt before until now.
'I don't understand. I thought I had already given up, that I was ready to die…
Then, why am I resisting? Just why can't I let go?'
It didn't make any sense to him. Not after what he had experienced, not after all the troubles he went through to get here.
Admits the dubs and confusion he was feeling and the desperate struggle to survive, one thing is clear at that moment.
His whole body, mind, and soul were screaming out loud, 'I DON'T WANT TO DIE!'
It was as if he was controlled, possessed by a strange force inside him, like an animal acting on impulse, gripping the fences through the gaps and pushing forward.
'I CAN'T DIE, I CAN'T DIE, I CAN'T DIE..., I WANT…TO LIVE!
NOT NOW, NOT UNTIL... I REACH THE TOP!'