"So… Uh… now what?" Naruto asks as he stares up at the hovering blimp.
"We wait." Shikamaru says. "Eventually it will come down."
"Bets on if it crashes or lands?" Anko asks the group.
"Stupid bet." Kakashi smiles to himself. "Alvarcus is on there. It's crashing."
"Totally crashing." Naruto agrees. "Dude knows some crazy jutsu, it'll be lucky if it's still in one piece."
"Crashing while covered in copious amounts of fire." Shikamaru goes one step further. "Alvarcus really wanted that fireball."
"I bet it lands." Ino goes against everyone else. "Sure Alvarcus is on there but so is Koyuki. He can survive a crash but she can't and he knows that."
"You really think that's going to stop him?" Anko asks. "He'll probably hop off then make it go boom. I bet he does that, I'm saying it's crashing too."
"We'll just have to wait and see won't we?"
The Bridge
"How hard can it be to subdue two people?" Doto mutters to himself. "Just two. One isn't even a kunoichi. Why is it taking this long?"
"You could send us after them." Nadare offers to his boss. "Between me, Mizore and Fubuki we will make short work of their recapture."
"No." Doto denies that option. "You three will stay here with me. Let the pawns tire him out, that's what they're for. Then when he's weakened we shall defeat him once more. It won't be just a defeat, I want total defeat. Unquestionable victory. We will take everything he throws at us without flinching and then we will end it with one blow. We will show him just how strong we are and tempt him with our own power to join our side."
"Is there any particular reason you want him to join us?" Nadare asks. "He may be slightly above average in skill but that doesn't mean much."
"You lack something, Nadare." Doto sneers at the deadly shinobi. "Yes, you are a very strong fighter yourself but you cannot see him like I do. He has potential, lots of untapped potential. I will make full use of that to further my own goals."
"Right. So just a couple of things." I casually stroll into the bridge with Koyuki trailing behind me. I have my fingers laced together and both of my hands behind my head, I'm giving off an completely relaxed vibe. "One: Pretty sure I already did this kind of intro but fuck it I'm doing it again. Two: It can be very challenging to subdue two people, especially someone as crafty as I am. Three: It wouldn't matter if you sent those hat defiling monsters after me, I'd crush them in a moment. Seriously though why the fuck did you all cut holes in your hats? No nevermind, moving on. Four: You don't have enough pawns to tire me out. I'm just that good. Or is it they're just that bad? Whatever. Five: The only way to make me acknowledge 'total defeat' is to kill me, so that's a bit counterproductive for your whole make me join you scheme. Six: I am far, far, far above slightly better than average. Don't insult me, you all have seen nothing. I am capable of feats that none of you could ever hope to match. Seven: Fuck you and fuck your goals. I'm not doing shit for you. Eight: This whole listing off things idea got really old quick so I only have one more. Nine: I want my reward."
"Your… reward?" Doto questions me. "What reward?"
"You promised to reward whoever brought you me and Koyuki. I brought you me and Koyuki. I want my reward." I start to tap my foot on the ground. "Are you going to ask me what it is?"
"What… do you want?" Doto forces out. He's thinking that after I get the reward I'll submit to him again since I did kinda imply that. But he's wrong, very wrong.
"Your armchair." I bluntly tell him. "I'm something of a collector and that's a damn nice chair. I want it."
"Fine. It's yours." Doto agrees. "Now Nadare, Mizore and Fubuki will escort you back to the warship's hold and make sure you stay there."
"FOR THE LAST DAMN TIME IT'S NOT A FUCKING WARSHIP!" I yell at the top of my lungs at the idiotic man. "YOU'RE FLYING A GLORIFIED BALLOON! A BALLOON! IT'S LAME!"
"Just go back to the hold already." Doto waves me off. "I don't have time for this."
"What you think I'm willingly going back there?" I scoff out and the lazy yet alert posture of Doto and the three shinobi swaps to something more rigid. They're ready for me to lash out at them. "The jailer lady is crazy. I'm saying that. Surely you see how meaningful that is."
"You just have to make this difficult don't you?" Doto sighs. "Nadare, subdue him."
"With pleasure." Nadare cracks his knuckles in preparation for what he thinks will be an easy beatdown. "His voice pisses me off, he never shuts up."
"How about instead of me flattening your best shinobi we make a friendly wager?" I offer to Doto.
"Nadare stop." Doto orders and Nadare obeys as his face twists in disatisfaction. "You have piqued my interest, what is this wager?"
"Well I know I said friendly wager but it's more like deadly wager." I halfheartedly shrug. "I will send an attack at you with the intent to kill. You will attempt to survive it. Should I win, well you're dead so there's that. I suppose that would make Koyuki the next ruler of the Land of Snow so… how about your shinobi support her and her goals? Oh! I want to take Nadare, Mizore and Fubuki back with me so they won't be staying. Should you win I will fully submit to you and whatever you have planned for me. I will become exactly what you want me to and throw my full being into making your goals a reality. How's that for a wager?"
I stuff my hands into my pants pockets.
"All I must do is survive?" Doto asks for clarification. "Even if I'm wounded I win, no matter how severely?"
"Correct." I assure him. "As long as you survive you win. You can dodge, you can block, you can take it, you can counter it, whatever you want to do."
"Doto-sama you can't possibly be considering this." Nadare says with a sneer. "Just let me beat him into submission."
"No, this sounds fun." Doto rubs his hands together. "It has been so long since I've actually had to accomplish something with my own two hands. This is a perfect opportunity, he knows nothing about me or what I'm capable of. All I have to do is survive. Then he's mine."
"So… do you accept?" I ask Doto.
"I do." He raises himself to his full height which towers over me.
"And you three." I turn to Nadare, Mizore and Fubuki. "You're part of this as well. You will uphold your end, yes? Should I win you will be coming with me."
"Not like you're going to win." Nadare scoffs out. "Fine."
"Meh. Why not?" Mizore shrugs.
"Sure." Fubuki agrees too. "It'll be interesting to have you around. You liven things up."
"Glad that's all cleared up." I turn back to Doto. "So you ready? Need to go get anything?"
"You wish to do this now?" Doto raises an eyebrow at me in surprise. "Acceptable. I am always ready."
Good. That means he's in his armor. I'm going to use that against him.
"Sweet. So uh… no one stand behind him that doesn't want to die. I will not be held responsible for any accidental deaths." I take my hands out of my pockets, they're curled into fists.
"This attack of yours won't destroy my warship will it?" Doto asks as he falls into a combat ready stance. It's one that highly maneuverable, he's ready to spring out of the way the second something goes wrong for him.
"Nah." I tell him. "It won't destroy your blimp."
I slowly begin to go through hand signs, so slowly that most genin are capable of going faster than me. It's not that I have to go this slow, it's that I want Doto to assume I'm using ninjutsu.
"Earth Release." After the final hand sign I rear back my right arm like a pitcher. I channel a staggering amount of chakra to my arm, beefing it up as much as possible.
"Ninjutsu?" Doto relaxes as he hears my words, sees my actions, and feels my chakra. He straightens out of his combat stance and spreads his arms wide. "Come, I shall receive it! Do your worst!"
"TINY PEBBLE OF DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!" I roar out as I winde back even further. Then I throw the pebble with every scrap of strength I can muster.
The pebble rockets out of my hand with twice the velocity of a bullet. It flies straight and true to its target, then goes through it, then goes through the far wall to to disappear off in the distance.
Doto's head exploded. A chunky shower of gore splattered across the far wall. His head is just gone, it's been ripped to shreds by the pebble.
"Holy shit." I say to myself. "I didn't think it would just be gone. I expected a hole not that."
Doto's body falls to its knees for a brief moment then collapses to the ground. He's well and truly dead.
"It's… it's over?" Koyuki softly asks herself.
"That's right Princess. It's over." I confirm. "Congratulations on becoming the new Leader of the Land of Snow by the way."
"D-Doto-sama?" Nadare stares at his headless boss in denial.
"He's… dead?" Mizore refuses to accept it. But the longer he stares at the cooling corpse the less he can deny that it has happened.
"But you used ninjutsu!" Fubuki shouts at me. "Doto's armor should have absorbed it! His is way better than ours! His can take in an insane amount of chakra before it has to be drained, way more than you used! So how!"
"Oh that's simple." I dust my hands off. "I didn't use ninjutsu."
"Bullshit!" Fubuki shouts at me. She's the only one out of the three that isn't still in shock. "I felt that chakra! I'm not even a sensor that's how much you pumped into it! You made the hand signs! You called it out! It was ninjutsu!"
"This is the best example I'll ever have to prove this point." My words pulls everyone's attention to me. "Two points really, the first is that information is powerful. I knew that he had chakra armor since before I saw a single snowflake. I've had days to come up with a way to work around it. That was just one of them. The second is that misdirection can be very powerful. In this case deadly."
"What?" Nadare asks me. "Misdirection?"
"Yes. Misdirection." I'm in lecturing mode which is quite interesting since I'm the youngest one here, if anything they should be lecturing me. Oh well minor details. "That pebble wasn't created using a jutsu. It wasn't made up of chakra. It was a plain pebble that I picked up off the ground. There was nothing special about it. I didn't put a single drop of chakra into the pebble, it all went into strengthening my arm. The chakra armor you all wear stops chakra based techniques and projectiles. My pebble was the perfect solution, all I had to do was throw it hard enough at a spot not protected by armor. The head."
"You see, you all assumed that I was prepping for a jutsu. I lead you to make that assumption because I knew that Doto, hell all of you, are proud of your chakra armor. But above that you're reliant on it. You use it all the time, it's your first line of defense when it really should be your last. Today that assumption - my misdirection - cost Doto his life. I played him from the moment I walked in here. I took what he thought was his biggest strength and made it his most glaring weakness."
"You found a way around the armor that easily?" Mizore has finally accepted everything that has happened.
"Yep." I stroll over to Doto's body. "By they way I'm taking his armor. If that bothers you then fuck off."
"I don't believe it." Nadare looks at me, then down to Doto's corpse, then back to me again. "You just waltzed in here and killed him."
He slowly walks over to stand behind me.
"Yeah. Wasn't even that hard." I unclasp the chestpiece from Doto's corpse. "Huh, this one is black. Your's are white. Whatever I prefer black. Looks more menacing."
"There's just one flaw with your grand plan." Nadare says from behind me. "You didn't expect us to betray you. You've let your guard down."
Nadare lunges at my unprotected back with a kunai aimed at the base of my neck. He intends to sever my spine and kill me in one quick blow.
He's greeted with a spear of black threads that pierces his heart, killing him instantly.
"I never let my guard down." I darkly say as I continue unstrapping Doto's armor from his corpse. "I can't afford to, not when I'm living with Orochimaru."
"Nadare!" Mizore darts to my left side while rearing back his metal plated fist to crush my skull.
"You will die for what you have done today!" Fubuki darts to my right side with a pair of kunai in hand.
Black threads spear out of my shoulders like the world's most demented pauldrons. They intercept each attack with ease and wrap around the hands of both offenders.
"This is your own fault." I tell them with a hint of sadness and regret in my voice. "None of you had to die. I gave you all an out, you just had to come with me. You couldn't stay here so I gave you the next best thing, a chance at a new village. A chance to live. But you've thrown my generosity away for the petty revenge of a mad tyrant. I will not apologize for killing you. I am not sorry about it. I am just disappointed that I have to."
"Fuck you!" Mizore shouts in my face as he struggles to free himself from the black threads that are slithering up his body. "What the hell is this?"
"That is the Jiongu, more specifically Sureddo. It is also what's going to kill you." I don't mince my words. They picked this fate. I gave them an out. I did more for them than what was expected of me.
"Get these stupid things off of me!" Fubuki yells at me as the threads wrap around her neck. "You fucking basta-"
CRACK
"You killed Fubuki!" Mizore snarls at me in rage as he renews his struggle. It's too late, the black threads are wrapped around his neck already.
CRACK
The two bodies flop lifelessly to the ground, never to move again.
"Did you all think I was joking when I said that I can flatten everyone on this ship with ease?" I stare down at them in disappointment. "I could blast this thing out of the sky whenever I want to. I can slaughter everyone here like it's a stroll through a park. It wouldn't even make me break a sweat."
I look up from the corpses and turn my gaze on the horrified crew on the bridge.
"Anyone else want to try and kill me?" I call out to them. No one steps forwards. "Then land the fucking blimp. I want off this thing. And if one of you calls this thing a warship I will throw you out a fucking window!"
"Called it!" Ino pumps a fist in the air in victory. "I knew it would land!"
The moment the blimp lands numerous ramps lower to the ground and shinobi and crewmembers alike pour out of the blimp like it's on fire.
"And I called everyone running away like pansies." Anko laughs to herself. "So I was half right."
"Doesn't count." Shikamaru grunts out as the four of them watches the mass exodus. "We're assuming that Alvarcus caused that right?"
"Oh yeah." Naruto agrees. "That's totally his style."
"Look, there he is." Kakashi points at a specific ramp. "Good, he's got Koyuki with him. She seems relatively okay. Considering all that must have happened and that she was stuck with Alvarcus for a while. We really should not chose him to spend a lot of time with clients. That's a bad idea."
"MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE!" Alvarcus loudly calls out over the dull roar of the scrambling people from the blimp, attracting everyone's attention to him. "Thank you. Doto Kazahana is dead. Nadare and his team are dead. The old regime, the brutal subjugation of the Land of Snow, is dead. You all can go back to your families. You can go back to your friends. You can go back to your lives. You no longer have to constantly live in fear of your oppressor, you no longer have to serve him. It was not me that did this, nor was it the ragtag bunch of Konoha shinobi that you've no doubt been informed of. This was the will of Koyuki. She could no longer stand by as her people suffered, she's returned to bring prosperity and justice to her home. To your home. She is a kind and benevolent person, a true leader if there ever was one. And after that cool and inspiring speech she better not fuck it up."
"He ruined it." Naruto facepalms. "It was such a cool speech until the end and he ruined it."
"Yes! Yes! Yes! Jura you got that right? Please say you got that!" The Director cackles in glee.
"Hell yeah I did!" Jura pats his camera. "You were right, that kid is gold."
"How the hell did they get here?" Anko asks while staring in shock at the entire movie crew.
"Well we were just waiting around for a long time? Maybe they caught up?" Kakashi guesses. "I have no idea. We should go meet up with Alvarcus and Koyuki, better ditch the disguises so he knows it's us."
"Or, and I'm just throwing this out there, we could not?" Ino offers.
"Nope. Take it off." Anko demands. "The cold does you good, makes you appreciate the finer things in life. Plus isn't your personal heater down there? That was part of the deal you two made, clothes and heat on demand."
"I don't wanna." Ino crosses her arm and pouts.
"Too bad."
"Wow." I look over the sea of relieved faces before Koyuki and me. Everyone - ninety eight percent of everyone - is elated at the news of Doto's defeat and Koyuki taking his spot. "I didn't think that would work."
"Then why did you do it?" Koyuki asks as she's smiling and waving down at her new subjects, she's already acting like a leader. I bet her actress background is coming in handy.
"I wanted to?" I shrug. I'm letting her get all the attention. "Plus it was a perfect tactic to root out any opposition, that was a great moment to attack us. Out in the open, surrounded by enemies on all sides while boldly declaring their boss is dead. If that doesn't make someone go blind in rage and attack then I don't know what will. Oh wait, yes I do. Thanks Orochimaru."
Five blurs land on the platform near us.
"Sup everyone." I nonchalantly greet them. "So remember that whole spiel I said a while back about not doing the entire mission for you when we first met? Guess what I did."
"Fulfilled you debt to me." Shikamaru smriks. "That was what you promised way back then. That you'd take me on a mission where I could slack off as much as I wanted to. Not quite exactly that, but I'll settle for this."
"Good. Because this is all you're getting." A full body shiver of revulsion passes through me. "I do not want to do this again."
"You had fun." Koyuki interjects into the conversation. "Don't even attempt to deny it, I was there for the whole thing."
"True. Some of that was fun." I pat my pocket that two scrolls are in. During the descent I went and recovered all the items that were taken from me when I was tossed in jail. "And I managed to get what I came for and an armchair! How cool is that!"
I was a bit worried about the armor not being able to be sealed away because of the whole resistant to chakra thing it has but it worked. Talk about convenient.
"Do we even want to know?" Kakashi asks Koyuki. Specifically Koyuki, he knows that if he asked me I'd go right ahead and relay everything with grand embellishments.
"No. No you do not."
"Wait!" I cut in. "Everyone away from the blimp! Back away from the blimp!"
"Move!" Kakashi orders as he grabs Koyuki and hauls ass away from the blimp. Everyone is right on his heels except for me.
I've moved just far enough away so that I can see the entire blimp and I'm staring up at it in giddy anticipation. "Come on! Come on! Any second now!"
FUWUMP
The entire blimp is engulfed in brilliant crimson fire in an instant, my seals that I laced throughout the ship finally activated.
"Yes! YES! YES!" I cackle in glee as the fire rages, burning the insult to warships to nothing. "Burn! Burn! Ahaha! AHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Everyone of the Konoha group looks at Kakashi accusingly.
"I didn't teach him that!"