"I still don't find it very funny…"
"Oh? I thought you would be amused by miss Parkinson's attempt at 'sexily' taking off wizard robes without revealing anything too scandalous. Or perhaps my professor's less than subtle way of hinting at desire."
"Bitch is lucky she was wearing knickers in that photo or I would be pecking out her eyes… AND THE OTHER IS STILL TOO OLD FOR YOU!"
The boy shook his head slightly, Hedwig's jealousy seemed to be getting progressively worse as time went on in the Magical World.
"Yes, yes I know. No sex until I am married, and no murder unless in self-defense or extreme boredom. You really are taking the fun out of being child celebrity you know."
The girl gave a 'hmph' before mentally muttering something about not necessarily waiting until marriage.
"Well as soon as you offer…"
This comment, however, did earn him a smack to the arm from the blushing girl.
...
"Harry?"
"Go back to sleep."
"Where are you going?" Hedwig asked in her half-asleep voice as the boy made his way from their Super King sized bed towards the hallway connecting their chamber to the Slytherin Common room.
"Just on a short walk to get some air, I have been stuck in the school for too long. I will be back shortly."
"O-okay"
With that she went back to cocooning herself into the luxurious blankets, earning a soft chuckle. It wasn't his fault that he was feeling a bit pent up. Dumbledore really needed to tell the gigantic man who sat next to him to keep his voice down while talking about unicorns being attacked at midnight, otherwise students would become interested and investigate.
Luckily Harry was just bored enough to solve yet another problem for them.
...
"What a lovely night for a moonlit stroll…" As he walked through the dark forest Harry Potter became aware of movement in the clearing directly in front of him. Not wanting to miss any perceived excitement he slowly made his way out of the treeline and spotted what appeared to be a man devouring a Unicorn.
"Such bad table manners."
The figure spun, drawing a wand instantly as it faced the small child.
Professor Quirrell
"Drats, and here I thought that I would be surprised as to your identity. What a shame that it was so obvious."
"Potter, so is this when Albus Dumbledore charges out with the cavalry?"
"Not unless he followed me very quietly, and considering what the man considers fashionable I doubt he would be able to sneak up on a comatose man." This earned a slight chuckle from the teacher, who still cast his gaze around for any suspected ambush. After finding none his silver covered grin turned malicious.
"Quite the mistake you made here boy . Confronting a dangerous monster like myself."
"I am sure that I'll be fine, although the forest is a rather dangerous place…"
"You are a fool. I know all about you Potter. I know that your defeat of The Dark Lord was a fluke, I know that you are just a slightly intelligent first year and nothing more. I know you lack any magical training that would make you a threat to me. You are out of your league."
"Interesting, you claim to know quite a bit about me, and yet I know a few facts concerning you as well."
"Oh? Enlighten me then Potter. What could you possibly know about one such as myself?"
"Well, considering you are drinking Unicorn Blood it appears as though your body is falling apart, probably due to the whole 'host to an evil spiritual parasite' thing. You are constantly muttering to yourself which means you are probably in contact with it, and that it has some consciousness. The pitiful attempt at acting implies that you wish to put everyone at ease. The fact you were the only staff member not present at the Halloween feast would suggest that you are the one who let the Troll into the castle, and you are attempting to achieve immortality through the use of an ancient artifact."
Quirrell stared at the boy slack-jawed. How the hell had he figured out that much about him in only a few months? Even Dumbledore did not seem to be that well informed! Then he realized something.
"The boy… he knows about the stone, make him get it for you!" a voice rasped from behind the professor.
"Oh the Philosopher's Stone? I would love to but… it is such a far walk back to the castle and all…"
"He has it! Make him give it to you!"
The normally stuttering man nodded with a sneer, before raising his wand and firing a bright red curse at the boy, who turned to the side and easily avoided it.
"Now that wasn't very nice." An instance later, and with the slightest of gestures from the boy, everything below the older man's knees exploded in a shower of gore.
Falling to the ground, it took several seconds for the realization of what had just occurred, along with the pain, to reach the man. When it did his screams of agony echoed through the forest.
"Oh come now, surely you have some sort of spell that can regrow those. You might want to do so quickly though, lest you bleed to death."
"Y-you monster!"
"Monster? You are the one with a Dark Lord's face attached to the back of your skull yet you call me a monster?"
Harry slowly advanced toward the professor, who began to crawl away in a pathetic attempt to escape. "S-stay back! STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
"Oh come now our duel isn't quite done yet . Surely you have some other spells to use on me? Surely this is not all that you are capable of."
"D-demon! M-m-monster!"
"A pity, well as fun as this has been I find your teaching skills to be sub par. Hopefully your replacement will be more effective."
The screams that echoed through the night scared away even the most dangerous of predators.
...
"Harry?"
"I told you I would return my dear."
"Did you have a nice walk?"
"I did, it was very relaxing."
"Good, now if you don't mind I could use some warmth and cuddling." Hedwig practically demanded, as the boy climbed back into the bed behind her.
"I thought you would never ask."
....
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