As I stood on that stage, basking in the glow of the spotlight, the cheers of the crowd washed over me like a warm embrace. My voice soared with the melody, filling the air with a sense of euphoria I had never experienced before. The energy of the audience fueled my performance, and for a fleeting moment, I felt like I was living my dream.
But then, a sudden shift disrupted the harmony of the moment. The lights blurred, swirling into a disorienting fog that clouded my vision. Dizziness gripped me, my steps faltering as I struggled to stay upright. Panic surged within me as I realized something was terribly wrong. Before I could make sense of it all, darkness descended like a heavy curtain, pulling me into unconsciousness.
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When awareness returned, it was a slow, gradual process. My eyelids felt heavy as I blinked against the harsh light of the hospital room. The beeping of machines and the distant voices of medical staff filled the sterile air, a stark contrast to the vibrant energy of the stage. Confusion clouded my mind as I tried to piece together what had happened, the memory of my collapse fading in and out like a distant echo...." You awake..." Nana my assistant said as she rushed towards me..." What happened?" I asked as I forced my self to get up.." Well you suddenly collapsed...the doctors said it must have been caused by fatigue...they have run some tests on you and will tell us the results in a few days.." she replied as I took a deep sigh and looked around in search for my phone.." Look you should have some rest..don't worry about anything...." She said as I grabbed onto my phone and immediately checked my social media platforms and as expected there were mixed reactions about my collapse..some wishing me a quick recovery and some thinking it's some pr stunt to get me into the too searches..." I want to go home...can you help me work on my discharge.." I said as I pulled out the IV needle.." Hey! You can't do that..they need you to spend the night for observation..I told you not to worry about anything.." Nana said as I insisted.." Well I'll go work on the discharge my self then.." I threatened as she anxiously strolled back and forth.." It's okay..I'll do it..you stay right here.." she said as she left in a hurry.....
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" You know you could stayed the night..." Nana said as we headed home..." I hate hospitals plus Iam okay." I replied as I leaned back in my seat and stared outside the window.
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It wasn't long before we arrived at my apartment...." Are you sure you okay..I mean I could spend the night and keep you company.." she said..." Well thank you but Iam fine..." I replied.." Plus wasn't your mom's birthday today..you should get off early and celebrate with her.." I said as I reached out for my purse and pulled out an envelope.." Here you go." I said as I handed it over to her.." You don't need too.." she tried to decline but insisted.." But your mom a nice meal with that..it's my gift for her too." I said with a smile and she thanked me..." well head out then.." I said as she turned to leave.
There are times in life when you can't help notice how lonely you are and for me..it every single day...it's like every day after every one has left and the cameras aren't looking my way any more...all that's left in me and just me...it's a mutual feeling..and one that Iam used too at this point.
I took a warm shower and entertained my self with a glass of wine as I scrolled through the comment sections of the various articles that had been written about me...this had to be my concert of the year..infact my final concert before I took a long break to make up for the breaks I haven't taken ever since I because a singer...but I guess you can never really know what can happen seeing as it didn't even go as I planned.
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" I was thinking of a make up concert, the last one didn't go as planned and so how about we prepare for a new one..many of your fans would definitely be looking forward to it.." my manager Mr song said as I agreed..." it's a good idea...the concert was majorly to give back to my fans that had supported me so seeing that it didn't go as planned..q make up is definitely needed." I replied.." You can set the date...and I'll prepare for it." I said as we both agreed...." Well I should get going then." I replied as I stood up to leave.
On my way out I received a call from an unknown number and when I picked up," is this mrs Kang soojin?" They asked.." Yes it is..who Iam I speaking too?" I asked.." This is from the hospital...we run tests on you a few days back..the results are out and of possible we would like you to please pick them up personally." She said..." Well Iam kind of busy, can't I send some one to pick them up?" I asked.." Well no ms...it's you who has to pick them up personally.." she insisted as I sighed.." Okay...I'll be there in a few minutes..." I replied
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For some reason as I waited outside the doctor's office, I couldn't help get this feeling of worry...I tried to shake it off but for some reason I was nervous, I mean the only reason why they would insist that pick the results my self is because they need to explain something to me...what could it be...I must confess I haven't been the most healthy person these past few days and it might not have been the first time I passed out suddenly," what are you doing Soojin, stop overthinking.." I told my self as I sighed and looked around..." It can't be that serious.." I added as I rubbed my fingers together nervously..." Ms soojin..." A lady called out as I was asked to enter the doctors office..." thank you.." I said as I sat across him...." Good afternoon.." he said to me as I replied with a smile.." Well Iam really sorry that we had to call you in despite your busy schedule...my daughter is a big fan of yours by the way." He said as we both chuckled softly..." Is something wrong?" I asked.." With my health...Iam sure these results would have been mailed to my place..but there has to be a reason why you asked to meet me personality..so let's rip the band-aid off..." I said nervously...." is there something wrong with me?" I asked....as I continued to rub my fingers together.
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Dr. Park looked at me with a serious expression, his eyes filled with concern. "Soojin, I have the results from your scans, and I'm afraid it's not good news.. You have Temporalis Swellum," he said gently. My heart sank as I tried to process the weight of those words, " temporalis swellum!" I exclaimed.." Yes it's a really rare brain disease that causes a swelling in your temporal lobe..." He continued, as he turned to look at the scans... "The swelling in your brain is putting pressure on critical areas, affecting your memory and cognitive parts of your brain...." He continued as I felt a rush down my spine... If we don't intervene, the swelling will continue to increase, leading to further complications." I felt a lump form in my throat as he explained the gravity of the situation....
Dr. Park's voice was somber as he presented the options, "We can attempt a risky surgery to remove the swelling, but I must be honest, Soojin, the survival rate is only 5%. However, if we choose not to operate, the swelling will progress, causing memory loss, auditory hallucinations, and eventually, the shutdown of vital brain functions." He explained further as I just quietly listened....Tears welled up in my eyes as I looked around in confusion..." that's impossible...are you sure these are my results I mean the nurse could have made some sort of mistake.." I said in a shaky voice..." Iam really sorry....Ms soojin...the results are yours..." He said as I felt my chest becoming heavy..." Then there might be a problem with the machines...I mean..machine make mistakes too don't they...I mean...there could be an error...I take care of my health better than any one out there..Iam always getting check ups every month...so this has to be one big mis up...it can't be true..." I said as he tried to calm be down but I was way too stressed out to listen to anything..." I demand to take the tests again...." I insisted.." let's do it again...." I added as he took a deep sigh.." Well okay if that's what you want..then Iam more than willing to run the tests again..." He said as tears rolled down my cheeks...." Let's do it let's take them again." I said as I stood up anxiously.....
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