SOOJIN'S POV
" Well we have taken the tests again as requested...and the results will be out in a day or two..." Dr Park said..." Thank you.." I replied to him as I picked up my bag and left.
Everything that Dr Park had said to me was still ringing in my ears and even after taking the tests again...part of me knew that the first results were actually real...maybe I was buying my self time before I went crazy from everything that was happening.
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" Can we Eun it up again..." I said to my producer as I placed my head phones back on and tried to sing but I couldn't..." how about we take five....?" He asked as I stepped out of the booth..." I'll go out and get some air.." I said to him as I got out and headed to the studio rooftop...." Temporalis swellum...." I thought about the doctors words as I aggressively passed my fingers through my hair..." I really hope that this one bad dream..one in which Iam going to wake up from.." I said with a sigh as I tried to hold back my tears.
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" Soojin...it's granny please call me back..." Said the voice mail on my phone as I reached out for my glass of wine..." Soojin..I really hope you doing okay...I saw the news...hope you taking care of yourself..." Said the other as I grabbed my phone to call her....but I couldn't... atleast not now.
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It wasn't long before the days went by and it was finally time for the second results to come out....I quickly got ready and headed for the hospital..for some reason I had hope that this was all a bad dream and that with these second results I was going to wake up from it...." This way Ms kang..." The nurse said as I headed into Dr parks Office.
There is a time in everyone's life when you feel stuck, confused and this was me after hearing Dr Park repeat the exact results from a few days back..nothing had changed...even after stalling it for so long...nothing had changed...I had not magically healed...." Look Ms Kang..I know it's hard to accept but..." He said as I stood up..." I need to use the washroom..." I said as I quickly stood up to leave....
Reaching the washrooms, I quickly washed my face and stared at my self in the mirror.....and immediately burst into tears...
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" So what's it going to be Ms Kang ?" Dr Park asked as I sighed...." Can I have a few days to think about it...I mean this is a really big decision...I need time to sort my thoughts out... please." I replied as he stared at me with worry..." It's okay..you take all the time you need...just not long... because your situation is tricky." He replied to me as I thanked him, grabbed my bag and left his office.
As I walked along the streets...I could see everyone and everything moving forward but for some reason it felt like I was now stuck in this one position..." Excuse me!" Some one called out..startling me by tapping my shoulder.." Iam sorry..you dropped this.." she said as she handed me my large envelope..." Thank you.." I said as I looked around and saw a convenience store....
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" Are you sure you okay..I stopped by your apartment to see you but you were out..." Nana said over the phone.." Iam okay..I had some place to be.." I replied..." well Mr song asked me to remind you of the ad you shooting tomorrow....I'll come by your place first thing in the morning and we shall leave together." She said..." okay.." I replied as I hangup before she said anything...
" Soojin!" Some one called out as I slowly opened my eyes.." Soojin...why are you sleeping here?" She added as I looked up clearly and saw Nana.." Hey Nana what are you..." I said as I got cut off by the headache I was feeling from the hang over.." Do you drink all of these by yourself? Are you sure you okay?" She asked as I groaned..." Iam fine..." I replied as I tried to stand up but stuggered and fell right back down..." We should take a rain check with the ad shoot.." she suggested.." No no...work is what I need right now...plus every one else must have already been preparing for it to happen today...I can't be the bad guy." I said.." I'll just go and quickly take a warm shower...I'll sober up in a few minutes." I said to her as I stood up to leave.." Okay..I'll make you some hang over soup..." She said as I left to take a shower.
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" Here you go.." she said as she placed a bowl of soup Infront of me..." thank you.." I replied as I turned to eat but noticed that she was staring at me.." What's wrong?" I asked.." I know I've already asked this alot lately but I believe that aside from just being your assistant Iam also a friend so as a friend of like you ask you again..are you okay...?" She asked...as I almost teared up at the question..." Iam fine..." I replied as I quickly sipped on the soup..." I'll go and get ready." I added as I rushed to my room where I shut the door...and broke down into tears again....
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We had a make up ad to shoot and it was going to take place at somewhere near the beach..." Are you ready...we shall start in three minutes.." the co director said as they wrapped up on my make up..." Iam ready.." I said as I quickly left to start the shoot.
Once the shoot was successfully completed....the director offered to treat all of us to a meal, one I couldn't say no too seeing on how every one insisted.
Every one around me seemed to be having alot of fun.. cheering, laughing, drinking..to the point that I selfishly felt really suffocated..." Let's raise our glasses again to today's main event..Ms Kang soojin." The director said as everyone raised their glasses to me.." Well Iam happy and glad you gave me the opportunity..and thank you to every one here for supporting me through it all." I said as I poured my self a glass of wine..." I'll drink to all of you.." I said as I chugged on the glass of wine...and even poured my self another..." I'll make that two.." I said as I drunk again and as I proceeded to pick up the third..Nana pulled the bottle away...." she must be a little excited...I'll take her home...the rest of you can have fun.." she said as she grabbed onto my arm.." Yes have fun...two more rounds for every one here..my treat.." I said as they all cheered..." Let's go.." Nana said as she quickly pulled me away..." Hey! What's wrong...what would they all think of I just walked away like that?" I asked as I pulled away..." You drunk...I mean you need some rest." She said as I sighed deeply..." Rest..I don't need rest..I need to forget..I need to..." I said as tears rolled down my cheeks..." Soojin...are you okay?" She asked again as I scoffed.." Can you stop asking me that...Iam I okay..Iam I okay what difference does it make if Iam or not...what do you want me to say...Iam okay Iam okay..." I said as I vigorously passed my hands through my hair.." Iam sorry I should not tell at you like that...how about you take a cab home..I'll find my way home as well..." I said to her as she insisted.." Iam okay..Iam not that drunk..." I said as I called her a cab and forced her to get into one..." Bye.." I said to her as I watched her live with her head out the window watching me.." Bye.." I said with a little wave as I took a deep sigh....
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As I walked down the bustling street, the weight of my illness and the uncertainties of my future pressed heavily on my mind. Each step felt like a struggle, every passing moment adding to the overwhelming emotions swirling inside me. Lost in my thoughts, I stumbled upon a karaoke bar, the music spilling out onto the sidewalk.
I hesitated for a moment before deciding to step inside. The dimly lit room was filled with the sound of the girl on stage pouring her heart out through a soulful song. Her voice carried emotions that resonated deep within me, stirring memories of happier times before my diagnosis. As she finished, the room erupted in applause, the warmth of the moment enveloping us all.
When the MC called for the next performer, a sudden impulse took over me. I raised my hand, feeling a surge of courage I hadn't experienced in a long time. Walking up to the stage, I took hold of the microphone, my heart pounding in my chest. As I sang, the lyrics became my solace, wrapping me in a sense of calm amidst the chaos of my life.
As the final notes faded, the room erupted in cheers and applause. But as the spotlight turned towards me, a wave of panic washed over me. "It's Soojin!" someone exclaimed, and in that moment, all eyes were on me. The sudden attention was overwhelming, and my instinct was to flee. "How could I be so careless?" I whispered to myself, rushing out of the bar and into a waiting cab.
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The next morning I woke up to a call from Mr grandma..I had been avoiding her calls for a while now since I didn't want to worry her but if I needed anything now then it was her comfort..." Hello.." I said as I answered the call..." Soojin...is that you?" She asked.." Yes it's me..Iam sorry I havent been able to reply to you..." I said.." how are you granny..are you okay..are you taking care of yourself, did you go for your check ups and take your medicine?" I asked as she quietly listened.." Granny?" I called out after hearing no response.." Iam still here..you don't have to worry about me.. instead I should worry about you..I saw the news about you suddenly fainting...I have told you time and time again that your job can be draining so take good care of your self, eat in time, sleep in time..and when you feel tired you should rest...don't over work yourself..." She said as I felt a sense of comfort from her words.." How can I just rest..my job calls for me to be working 24/7" I replied..." Well then quit your job..I told you that I can take care of you...granny has enough to take care of the both of us..." She said as tears rolled down my cheeks..." Granny..." I called out..." I miss you so much..." I added.." Soojin?" She called out.." Are you okay sweetie?" She asked as I cleared my throat.." Iam okay...I just got a bit emotional taking with you.." I replied..." well granny..I would love to stay and talk with you the entire day but I'll be late for my appointment....take care of yourself I'll talk to you later." I said as I hang up....
" What's this?" I asked.." a video of you singing at the karaoke bar.." Mr song replied..." what were you thinking Soojin..?" She asked..." Iam sorry..I lost my mind for a moment..it will never happen again.." I replied..." Are you kidding me.. people loved it..the video in just half a day has over 25 million likes..that's how much people love you Kang soojin." He replied to me cheerfully.." So seeing this gave me an idea..." He said..." An idea?" I asked.." Yeah remember when we said that we should have a make up concert for your fans..how about a pop up concert...we allocate different places around Han city that have lots of people something like public squares and more and then you show up suprise them and song for them....sort of a give back to your funs..the program can run for a week or so." He suggested..and I did love the idea but with all that's happening I dont think I was emotionally stable.." That's a good idea.." I said as he cut me short before I could continue.." I know...I'll make calls and arrange the program.." he said as I took a deep sigh.." I was actually going to ask you for some time off..." I said as he sat back.." Time off?" He asked.." Yes I feel like I haven't had that in like forever...so how about now.." I said..." Well time off is okay..but how long are we speaking?" He asked.." A weekend? A week..?" He asked..." A month or so..." I replied..." a month!" He exclaimed.." Soojin..you have got to be kidding...you are in that bustling time of your life...taking a month off is risky you have endorsements lining up for you...no sweetie...take a week off clear your mind and let's work." He said as I tired to talk to him.." That's all we going to talk about this...bye.." he said as he picked up his phone and left before I could say anything....
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