As we entered the upscale cafe, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and baked goods enveloped me, a stark contrast to the turmoil brewing inside. Mia's concerned expression was a reminder of the secrets I kept hidden. "Where have you been for three days, your phone had been dead all through, and there was no way I could contact you?" she asked, her voice laced with worry.
I shrugged, forcing a smile onto my face. "I've been around, just had a dead phone." The lie rolled off my tongue effortlessly, but the guilt lingered. As we ordered our lunch, I couldn't help but feel out of place among the affluent crowd. The only reason I fit in was because of Mia's influence. "And again, I would prefer to be eating at the school cafeteria. Did you see how much things cost here?" I asked, trying to deflect attention from my absence in school.
Mia's eyes narrowed. "I don't care about that, but you had missed three tests in a row because of your absence in school." Her words cut deep, a reminder of my responsibilities. I groaned, rubbing my palm on my forehead.
That's a lot, Mia." I complained, feeling the weight of my mistakes. As we took our seats by the balcony, Mia's gaze fell upon the scar around my neck. "Why is there a scar around your neck?" she asked, her voice trembling.
I snapped her hand away, adjusting my collar to conceal the evidence of Rael's brutality. "I promise you, it's nothing," I lied, trying to reassure her. But Mia's concern only deepened.
"Are you sure? You would have called me at least!" I thought of an excuse, trying to placate her. "I told you my phone was dead, sorry. I just have to find a way to sort out the test." Mia's expression turned determined. "I've sorted out your missed tests with the teachers, so you're coming over to my place."
I knew I was trapped. "Umm, I don't think that would be a good idea," I protested, remembering Rael's fury. But Mia's smile was relentless. "What do you mean by that? Why can't you come over?"
I thought of a reason, trying to escape the inevitable. "Like you said, I had missed quite a number of my tests, so I'm going to stay over the weekend to sort them out." Mia's eyes sparkled with excitement. "If that's the problem, then I'll solve it. You're coming over to my place."
As I walked home from school, I was met with my mum's accusatory gaze. "Your father told me you came back the other night very late in the night."
I shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. "I had something to do, that's why I wasn't home on time." Her expression turned venomous. "It's your job to look after your father, not to sleep around with men." She reached for her phone, and my heart sank. She showed me my picture on the dating app. "You disgust me!! I work every day to ensure you go to school and feed properly, but what do I get? A child who sells her body on the internet."
I felt a surge of anger. "I just do the same thing you do, so why get angry!" I spat back, my voice rising. She struck me again, and I tasted blood in my mouth. "Why? You don't want me talking about it, but that's what you do! Right?! Prove me wrong if I'm lying, mum!"
We glared at each other, the tension between us palpable. I turned and stormed upstairs, slamming the door behind me. My dad's knock on the door came soon after, the sound echoing through my room like a stern reminder.
"You can't speak to your mother that way, Leia. You can't keep disrespecting her like that, no matter what she does. She's still your mum." His voice was firm, but laced with a hint of desperation.
I turned away, feeling a deep-seated anger burning within me. "She doesn't deserve to be called a mum!" I spat, my voice trembling with rage. "She has caused more harm than good to this family. You know that as much as I do." The words hung in the air, a toxic cloud of resentment.
My dad's voice remained firm, but his tone softened slightly. "Stop, Leia! I don't care what she deserves to be, but as far as you're under this roof, you'll give everyone the respect that is due for them, regardless of how they're acting!" The words cut deep, a harsh reminder of the fragile peace I had to maintain.
I felt the urge to shut him and everyone out of my life, to escape the toxic cycle of anger and resentment. How else was I supposed to survive having both of them in my life? Some days, I longed to come home to people who cared, to unburden my troubles and find solace in their love. But all I came home to was a sick father and a mum who slept around as a means of survival, a constant reminder of my own desperation.
I turned away from my dad, curling into a tight ball on my bed as if trying to physically shield myself from the pain and despair that threatened to consume me. The darkness closed in around me, a suffocating blanket of hopelessness that wrapped around my heart and squeezed tight. The shadows on my wall seemed to grow longer and darker, like skeletal fingers reaching out to snatch what little joy I had left.
As I lay there, I felt the weight of my world bearing down on me, the crushing pressure of my parents' toxic relationship, my own desperation, and the suffocating expectations that came with being a daughter, a student, and a survivor. The air in my room grew thick and heavy, making it hard to breathe, hard to think, hard to be.
In that moment, I felt like I was drowning in a sea of despair, unable to find a lifeline to cling to, unable to escape the undertow of emotions that pulled me down into the depths of hopelessness. The darkness seemed to have a voice, a whispered reminder that I was alone, that I was trapped, that I would never be free.