THE ART OF LETTING GO

people say childhood is the best thing as you don't have any responsibilities, blah, blah, but how is my childhood a thing if I was never even allowed to be a child  

I was just a child I didn't even knew what was going around me, I was just a child I didn't even know my ABC and they bullied me they bullied me ferociously without thinking twice that I was 4 and they were 12 , I was a minor a freaking minor who didnt even knew the goods and bads of this world.I didn't even knew what was happening back then but it hurt, it hurt, it hurt, it hurt, it hurt so freaking much, I was feeling like I had no purpose I was a mere dog in an animal testing hate that feeling 

As they stabbed my nerves with that stem full of thrown to see if you could die by cutting your nerves, they were the people who I'll never forget till the day I die but to them I was merely an experiment to showcase their curiosity , oh how I wish that their theory was proven be to right , but didn't they saw me screaming in pain, didn't they hear me telling them to STOP , STOP, it hurts like hell please I'm begging you please I'm a human too please stop ''but did they stop Anastasia'' oh no they didn't why would they I was just a doll used for their pleasure and they kept going till my throat went numb from screaming ,I loathed that feeling and still do and will do it until I get a proper apology , but I'm so petty that I'll probably forgive them and say NO ITS FINE I DIDNT MIND AT ALL when I know damn well I did I hated that feeling I hated that more than anything 

, oh well than why didn't you seek help, I would've seeked for help if it was a human I was going against, but what I was facing wasn't merely a human. But they were the lucifers assistant who were personally given the task to make my childhood worse.

 They made it sure I hated the thing that I loved the most, to make sure I was scared to touch the stem of the same flower that I would think about till my mind gets numb, the flower stem that I would caress until my fingers were full of bruises was now a resemblance of that horrifying, traumatic event that makes my throat clench like I have been stranded in the middle of the Sahara desert and my chest colliding inwards my breath barely stable and the feelings of my feet being numb

Well either way if I told my parents they of course would never believe the word of a lowly human like me instead of the perfect older kids who never got into trouble but to my misery that was the truth of my parents, the ugly truth that I always had to agree on 

but for the first time I felt loved, I thought that I was a feelingless monster that couldn't be loved I mean look at me, I was just a useless piece of meat that wasn't even capable to express myself.

 While they were doing this for fun these were the scars that left me numb .They left me crying like I had no one, but for them I was an animal of testing who wasn't even worthy of vaccine.

But Anastasia don't get too ahead of yourself because this could be one of your worse scars you will be making the rounds of the bar and when you get a guitar ,you will only play the melodies of these scars. You will always be the monster with no friends ,the one whose alone in all events