Finally, let me set aside this fool and move on to something better. To my joy, my purpose in life—love.
As usual, I sat by a tree watching others. In the distance, children were running, playing, arguing, making up, and so on. I just watched and imagined different scenarios. I didn't even notice when someone approached me. They waved their hand in front of my face, but I didn't blink. Then "that someone" started shaking me, and that's when I realized who it was. It was the worst, most disgusting person that could have shown up: Barbara and her two followers.
I met Barbara back in kindergarten, and I hated her right away. All the kids were always around her, and she acted like a queen. The worst part was that we were in the same class at school too. She never teased me when she was alone, but waited for her cronies to show up and do something. She'd take notebooks out of my bag, tear up my books, or plant other people's stuff in my backpack.
I hated her, but I didn't know what to do. I never complained to anyone because, first of all, my parents wouldn't listen to me, and the teachers would say Barbara was a good kid who'd never do something like that.
Now back to the story. When she showed up in front of me, I was filled with rage. I wanted to gouge her eyes out.
Barbara: "Spying again, you freak!"
Me: ...
Barbara: "No wonder they call you Hel. You look like hell, hahaha."
My real name was Helene, but they called me Hel because it was shorter. Some were even afraid of me, so those who knew English called me that as well.
Barbara: "Hold her down; I want to do something."
They grabbed my arms and pushed me to the ground. One sat on my legs, and the other held my hands. Barbara pulled out a black marker and started drawing on my face and clothes. I struggled, but she still managed to draw something. Then I started screaming, and they let me go. I was consumed by anger. I wanted to strangle her. I rushed toward her, but...
... a blond boy stood in front of me and said:
???: "Why are you doing this?"
Barbara: "Who are you?"
???: "Apologize!"
Barbara: "Yeah, right!"
The boy pulled her hair and pushed her toward me.
Barbara: "Fine, sorry, but don't tell anyone about this!"
Barbara ran away crying with her two mules following behind.
???: "Are you okay?"
Hel: "I'm fine, move."
???: "That girl put something on your head."
He didn't know my language well, so he used the words he remembered. I touched my hair, my face, but didn't find anything.
???: "Stop."
He ripped a piece of his shirt and poured some water from the bottle he was holding, then wiped my face.
???: "There, it's gone."
Hel: ...
???: "I'm Ulrich, and you?"
Hel: "They call me Hel."
Ulrich: "Hel? Schöne."
Hel: "What?"
Ulrich: "Sorry, I don't speak your language well."
Hel: "I can tell."
Ulrich: "If someone bothers you, call me."
Hel: (so you know how to say that properly) "Thanks... Where are you from?"
Ulrich: "Deutschland."
Hel: "Where?"
Ulrich: "Berlin."
Hel: "Oh, my aunt is from there!"
We started a conversation. Even though he didn't speak our language perfectly, I understood him, and he understood me. We sat by that tree and chatted until sunset. My heart raced as we talked. He said he'd walk me home since it would get dark soon. I was sad that we had to part, but we decided to meet the next day. I secretly kept the piece of his shirt that he used to wipe my face.
We met up for a week before he told me he had to go back to Germany. His family was visiting relatives here, but now they had to return. It was as if someone ripped out my heart because I was going back to that empty feeling again. He said he wanted to return, but if he couldn't, I should come to him. I promised him we'd see each other again no matter what. He told me that when he grew up, he'd buy us a plane, and we'd get married in it.
From that moment, my life had meaning.
At school, I wrote his name all over my notebooks, books, even on walls and desks... But I didn't tell anyone exactly who he was. Nobody asked me, except my aunt from Berlin. She was my mother's sister. She visited us two months after Ulrich left. She was the only family member I loved. She always understood me and gave me advice. I felt like she was my real mother.
Aunt: "Helene, you seem different today."
Hel: ...
Mother: "For the past two months, all she's done is smile and talk even less than before. Something's definitely going on."
Aunt: "Really? Helena, let's go to the garden and have a chat."
We went and sat on a bench. She stared into my eyes for a few seconds and said:
Aunt: "You've found him, haven't you?"
Hel: "What?"
Aunt: "A boy, obviously. He's just a crush for now, but who knows what the future holds."
Hel: "How did you know?"
Aunt: "I'll let you in on a little secret. I was just like you when I was younger. I hated everyone and imagined their heads on stakes. But then he came along. My husband now. I've loved him since I was seven, and today we're happily together."
Hel: "But why am I different? Why can't I be friends with others, and why can't I breathe if I'm not thinking about him?"
Aunt: "Well, I don't know the exact reason, but I can tell you that your grandmother was the same when she was young. She told me her mother was, too. It seems your mom is the only one who's different."
Hel: "What should I do? How should I act? I can't stop thinking about him..."
Aunt: "Don't stop. That's what keeps you going. He's your goal, your purpose in life, right? Since you've found him, you must win him, no matter the cost. If you don't, you'll always feel a void inside you."
Hel: "How did you marry him?"
Aunt: "I think you're more interested in how my dear and I met. When I was seven, I saw him kicking a ball in the park. He was alone, and I spied on him from behind a tree. From then on, I followed him everywhere but never approached him. When I turned 18, I moved to his city and kept following him. I knew where he went, what he did, and who he hung out with every day... And once, I stole his girlfriend's phone and called him, telling him to meet me outside my house if he wanted to see her alive. He came, and I hit him over the head with something. I kept him in my basement for several months, maybe even a year, until he agreed to marry me. He was mentally broken by then, so I was sure he wasn't lying. I instilled a fear in him that I believe he still has today, but all I care about is that he's by my side."
Hel: "You're insane!"
Aunt: "You're no different, trust me. You might even be worse than me in the future, who knows. Now tell me everything about him."
I told her everything. About Barbara, my relationship with her at school, my fantasies, about Damian... She told me that now that I have a goal, everything is allowed.
Aunt: "Now, no one can hold you back. If anyone or anything stands in your way, deal with them by any means necessary. If you have to, even kill."
At that moment, I didn't know what to say. My pupils widened, and my heart started racing. I had permission to kill. I had never dared to do it, but now I would if necessary. I was ready for anything!
Aunt: "When you finish elementary school, feel free to come to me for further studies. While you're still here, make sure to learn German.
And as for your Senpai, live for him."
Hel: "Senpai?"
Aunt: "It's a Japanese term for someone older than you, usually a crush from an upper grade. When you get a bit older, start watching those Japanese animated series; you'll like them."
Hel: "Senpai... Senpai... Ulrich Senpai... Hahaha."
Senpai, I'll do anything just to see you again as soon as possible.