After the commercial break, another brave accuser, numbered "32," sat quietly in the studio of the program tracking the case of Li Haoyu, facing the host, Cheng Shaocheng.
The host's brow furrowed slightly, his voice imbued with a seriousness that could not be ignored. "Welcome back once more to 'The Mystery of the Hunt for Li Haoyu.' Today, we have the esteemed presence of our 32nd courageous accuser." He gently gestured to the cameraman, and the lens slowly panned to "32" across from him. He continued, "What's particularly noteworthy is that she's chosen an unusual medium – a diary – yet it seems she has a newfound direction."
With those words, the host gracefully stood up and retreated behind the camera, while the lighting technician adjusted the lights, creating a warm and focused ambiance that seemed to absorb all ambient noise.
"32" cast her gaze gently over the camera, ultimately settling on the diary in her hands, yet she did not rush to open it. She lifted her eyes to Cheng Shaocheng, her eyes sparkling with a sense of release. "In fact, I realize I need not recite these words word for word. After listening to the testimonies of the previous victims, I've found my own answers."
The host's eyes flashed with curiosity and encouragement. "Oh? What answers have led you to alter your original intention?"
A faint smile tugged at the corner of "32"'s lips, which quickly subsided into serenity. "I've come to understand that, despite the unspeakable pain I've endured, I've retained my clarity and sanity. This is what I cherish most. The previous guest's story, though different in details, evoked a profound empathy in me for that sense of helplessness and struggle. It's made me realize that I'm not alone. Our experiences, though painful, have also made us stronger."
The host nodded gently, offering her an encouraging gaze, inviting her to continue. "Then, regarding your own experience, is there anything else you'd like to share with us through this interview?"
She gently stroked the diary, as if it were a guardian of her past times, and began to speak slowly. "The shadow of that night two years ago haunted me like a nightmare until a chance encounter with Li Haoyu in a nightclub a month later. From that night on, I picked up my pen and poured my heart out in this diary, while also finding a slice of my own sky on Instagram,where I recorded the fluctuations of my mood every day, even though my memories of that nightmare were still a blank canvas."
"Upon encountering him again, my heart seemed drawn by an inexplicable force. That sudden passion overwhelmed me. I watched as he conversed merrily with another woman, and an unnameable emotion surged within me. In a fit of impulse, I rushed forward, gently pushed the woman aside, and kissed Li Haoyu, as if declaring him my sole purpose. In that moment, I held him tightly, and the shock and trembling in his eyes, which I had mistaken for mere surprise at my directness, now strike me as fear of his secrets being unveiled."
"That intense emotion compelled me to use my diary and Instagram as outlets. Each entry was a balm to my soul. However, weeks later, when fate once again placed us in the same nightclub, my emotions finally reached their breaking point."
Her eyes grew deep and complex. "That day, I lost all reason, repeating my earlier actions but with even greater intensity. As he interacted with another woman, I intervened almost violently, heedlessly trespassing into his forbidden territory. His resistance and retreat only intensified my inner turmoil and despair. From that moment on, I became a taboo in the v-club, an unspoken presence."
He asked gently, "Can you elaborate on your loss of control that day?"
She lowered her head, her gaze piercing through the fog of memory. "As he engaged with another woman, an uncontrollable anger and despair surged within me. I impulsively approached, roughly pushing the woman aside, and my hand instinctively reached for his waistband. In that moment, I sought only to prove my existence, even if it meant a fleeting intimacy amidst the chaos of the dance floor. But he swiftly pushed my hand away, stepping back, his rejection like a cold blade piercing my heart."
"In desperation, I lost all reason, lifting my skirt and discarding my last veil,I get off my underwear. I hoped, at least for that instant, he would feel my presence, realize the struggle and pain within me. But my actions only elicited more embarrassment and alienation."
The host listened intently, nodding gently with eyes full of comprehension and sympathy. "When you finally remembered that night, how did your heart respond?"
She took a deep breath, as if swallowing down all the bitterness. "At that moment, my heart felt as if it were crushed beneath a boulder, struggling for air. I felt an unprecedented loathing for myself, believing I had become so dirty, so unworthy. I even questioned why I had allowed such things to happen, why I had become this way."
"From then on, an obsession followed me like a shadow. I could always smell the scent he left behind, an inescapable shadow. Whenever I had a moment of respite, I would rush into the bathroom, lashing my body with icy water, trying to wash away those nauseating memories and traces. Sometimes, my skin would break from excessive scrubbing, blood staining the towel red, yet I found a strange liberation in it, a means of escaping that darkness."
She gently pulled up her shirt, revealing a gruesome scar on her right ribcage, her voice tinged with a hint of release. "Initially, I wanted to use this diary to shed light on the dual torment – physical and emotional – endured by victims of rape. But now, I realize I am not alone. Here, I've encountered others who have suffered similarly, and it's made me understand that I am not insane. I am merely finding my own way to reconcile with this world."
The host said, "I see. Thank you for your candor; it has undoubtedly added an extraordinary dimension to this entire narrative." With those words, he gently swiveled his chair, his gaze fleetingly scanning the waiting area where the next interviewee was poised, signaling the staff to prepare. Yet, just as the moment seemed poised for transition, the director hastened forward, fingers tapping lightly on the "32" on the prompt board, indicating that this numbered guest had more to share. The host promptly redirected his attention back to her.
She hesitated for a moment, yet spoke with resolve. "In truth, there is an extraordinary experience I have yet to mention, one that is uniquely mine, unseen by previous guests."
The host's eyes gleamed with curiosity. "Please, continue. I am eager to listen."