14
The 2nd year started. Life had been pretty comfortable.
At the end of 1st year, Seth came first with a GPA of 9.2 followed by Andrew with 8.88.
Seth stayed more or less the same. He was a bit friendlier now and had become an integral part of our small group of me, him, Ethan and Charlie. But he did not go to CSE. His reason was simple. He had no plans of doing any job after college. So Andrew shifted to CSE. Me and Charlie barely did enough and were 6-pointers. But Ethan was the one who surprised me.
He went to movies, trips, parties. Just everywhere. At times he used to study for his government exam which was to be held in the 4th year but mostly he was like us.
At the end of the 1st year, he scored 7.1. The guy was pretty content with that.
Contrary to my dream his personality did a 180. He had become cheerful and probably humane in various aspects. The killer personality which I saw in my dream just seemed to have never existed in the first place.
Day by day I was getting convinced that it was really just a dream. A very bad one.
But fate had something else in store for us. Things that none of us ever expected.
The 2nd year passed with no incidents. We just had fun and all of us comfortably made it to the 3rd year. But life began to change in the final term of the 3rd year.
January 2021:
I had comfortably passed the first two terms and now after the winter break, we all came back to the campus.
We had to choose 4 electives for the term.
I had chosen three but was confused about the last one. So asked my group what they had chosen. On their recommendation, I finally chose the humanities elective: Soft skills and Communications.
* * *
It was a Monday morning. I didn't want to go to the 9 a.m. class. But the humanity prof Albert was known for his strictness. It was also the first class so I attended it for courtesy.
I sat on the last seat along with Charlie in a corner. Ethan and Seth sat somewhere randomly which I don't remember clearly. There was just one thing my mind was fixated upon. It was the seat just in front of me.
A girl from electrical was already sitting in one of them and the other one was empty.
'She must be saving that for her friend,' I thought.
I was talking to Charlie when another girl came in from the door.
Without even realizing I stopped talking and listening to him.
My eyes just wouldn't move away from her. She was easily the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in person.
Long hair tied back in a ponytail. Skin as white as snow. I instantly became enchanted.
She came and sat in front of me. She was the girl the other girl was waiting for. I don't remember which perfume she was wearing but as soon as she sat, I could really see flowers in my background. Damn. She seemed to come straight out of a movie.
I was 20. Naturally, I had many crushes over time. But what exactly is a crush? Someone who looks good enough to captivate you. Or maybe someone whose personality was strong enough to blow away your mind. Or could be a mix of the two. But I guess for me it was mostly the first ones.
I never chat with girls. Especially never with a beautiful one. On top of that, I never had any female friends. So in my life crushes entered and left on a daily basis.
I felt she is also one of them. Things will remain the same and I was content with just looking at this beauty. Luckily she could become the reason that my attendance was sorted for this subject.
But life is not that simple. It is full of twists and turns.
She turned back and greeted Charlie. He also greeted her and they started talking. Charlie knew her even though our batches of civil and mechanical are known for being all boys only. I heard a lot but now I was seeing in person that sports guys are popular folks. I felt that maybe I shouldn't have left the football team after the first year.
He then introduced me. I froze in my seat. My chance of being in the background and silently adoring her was now lost forever.
He is Adam from my civil branch. We are best friends. And Adam this is Irena from the electrical branch.
I had not talked to girls in years. I thought maybe I should give a classy introduction but how do I give one of those? I just embarrassingly cleared my throat and said 'Hi! Nice to meet you.'
Damn, I was such a coward. She shook my hand and told me that Charlie talks about me all the time. Along with Ethan and Seth of course, she added but I pretended not to hear their names.
Just hearing my name in her voice was satisfying. I thought to myself that many people call us by our names but not many make it sound special. She was the one.
I asked Charlie how do they know each other.
'She is a member of the Girls volleyball team and I being in the football team get to meet her often,' he said.
Damn. 'Why the hell did I leave the football team after the 1st year?' I thought to myself again.
By then the prof came in and our conversation was cut short.
15
I did not hear a single word that the Prof said throughout the class. All I could do was stare at her endlessly.
The irony with boring lectures is that when you want them to finish early then never do. Each passing second feels like an eternity. But when you don't want them to be over then the time vanishes in a blink of an eye.
I always had experienced the first scenario but never I had ever thought that a day would come when I would want the class to not end. But then in a second, the clock turned to 10.30 a.m. and the class was over.
She again turned to us but her friend murmured something to her and it seemed they had to go. She waved to us. I said see you tomorrow. She said the same with a soft smile and left. I kept gazing at her till she left the door.
'Ohoho! See you tomorrow,' Charlie teased me.
I looked at him and the bastard was straight away staring at me. For how long he was staring nobody knows.
'What?' I shouted at him.
'Isn't that Irena really beautiful? And luckily she is also single.'
As expected of the gossip king of the campus, Charlie. He knew about everything that was happening in RIT and in the moment it felt that he had also become a psychic.
'Really??' I asked him.
'Yeah for sure,' he said.
'But how? She looks so good and seems friendly too. How is she still single? Did she have a breakup recently?' I asked.
'No, she is single from day one. But I have heard that she has a crush on somebody. So maybe that's why she is turning down the others,' said Charlie.
So she had a guy she liked. I said alright in a pained voice.
In the meantime, Ethan and Seth also came to us.
'See guys. Our Adam has become a man. This bastard likes Irena,' he announced to them.
'What the hell this bastard was doing?' I became red from head to toe. 'No it's not like that,' I said in a flustered voice.
'Come one brother. Is that really true?' asked Ethan.
'And I thought you were gay. Good to know that even you have balls,' taunted Seth.
Now what could I say to them? I knew that these bastards will only hear what they wanted to.
'She is good. I accept that. But she already likes someone else,' I countered.
'You should still try. It's not like the other guy also likes her. Otherwise, they would already have been dating,' said Charlie.
He was absolutely correct. Rather I wanted him to be correct.
'Come on man. Try on her and give us some gossip man. Life has become so boring lately,' said Ethan.
They started laughing. Such sadistic bastards they were.
I felt I might have a chance. A part of me tried to stop me. I was never the type to approach girls. I didn't even know how to approach them in the first place. But another part of me disagreed.
Was I not man enough? Was I never going to change myself for good? Why do I have to be such a coward?
In the spur of the moment, I decided that I will change myself.
I didn't know what to do and at the same time, I didn't want to appear desperate for her attention. So for the next few days, I played it safe.
We met in the class. Just exchanged greetings as usual and had some small group talks.
She belonged to Rille, the city of the rich. Her dad had an established business and they were quite rich. Her clothes, her phone, her bag etc. always did tell the same. Whereas I also belonged to a business family. My dad had a construction business in my hometown, Arcvale. I thought our parents would gel up well.
I laughed at myself. We just became sort of friends and here my mind started weaving dreams of our families meeting. Man, I was so naïve.
In the next few days, things started to go well on their own. From just meeting in the class to now going to the canteen for snacks. Charlie really played the role of the best wingman.
I never had the courage to ask her out for anything.
On a day when we were packing up at the end of the class, he suddenly said 'Let's go to the canteen.'
I thought whether being this direct was okay. 'Can we really ask her to come with us to the canteen?' I thought to myself. My lack of experience in talking to girls made me really stuck up. But to my surprise, she immediately said 'Yes. Let's go.'
I felt like a fool. It was really this easy. Even I could have done this a lot earlier. I really learnt a lot that day.
The three of us went to the canteen and continued our daily mundane chats. From bitching about boring profs to upcoming summer internships. We discussed everything. And then out of the blue Charlie asked Irena, 'Are you dating someone?'
She was surprised. I could see in her eyes that she never expected it. I felt we were gone.
Can this sort of thing be asked to a girl? Will this count as harassment? Again my lack of experience made me panic.
She calmly said 'No'.
'Oh. That's quite surprising,' Charlie continued.
'Why so?' she asked.
At that moment I felt Charlie was a Love expert. I held no candle to this guy. I just stayed mum and continued to listen to their conversation.
'See you are one of the top girls on the campus and you are single. Have boys not approached you?' he continued asking. At that point, I felt so glad that this bastard was my friend. He asked that question so easily probably which I never could have asked.
'They do all the time,' she replied. 'It's so tough to reject them. And many a time they ask why I was rejecting them. Come on dude. I just don't like you that's all. Why do I have to explain myself to you?' she sounded pissed.
'What about you guys?' she then pointed towards us.
Charlie was quick to respond as usual.
'Football is my calling. I only have sight on becoming a professional player. Other than that, everything else is a distraction.'
She looked a bit impressed and did not pry any further.
'So what about you Adam? Got any girlfriend?' she asked.
'Damn. What girlfriend? You are the one whom I want to make my girlfriend,' I thought.
'Nope. Nothing. I am single as well,' I said.
'So are you also career ambitious and not interested in romance?' she asked.
'Nothing like that. I'll just take over my family business when I graduate so no career ambitious plans for me. Probably I am just waiting for the right person to come.'
'Person? Are you gay?' she asked.
'No!' I instinctively shouted.
'I was just kidding' she said laughingly.
'So there are rumors that you already like somebody. Is that true?' I now asked her.
She stood still. A little bit confused.
I felt I crossed a line. 'Would I be imprisoned for asking this? That shouldn't be the case right?' I thought to myself.
She then finally spoke.
'I do have someone whom I really like but that someone doesn't like me. It's like an unrequited love.'
She looked sad. I felt I shouldn't ask anymore.
Charlie interrupted and said that our order had arrived.
'Great timing,' I thought.
We ate our food. Talked for a few minutes and then went our ways. Both of us came back to our hostel and she went away to the girls' hostel.
16
That day was the start.
Before, we were talking but still, our conversations were mainly around academics or profs or other college gossip. Nothing meaningful. But afterwards, we started talking a lot. We had a lot more meaningful chats.
It was already night time around 11 p.m.
I was lying in my bed doing nothing. Tomorrow was Saturday so I was just about to start my weekly marathon of some TV series but there was something else that I wanted to try. Something which I forever wanted to try but never had the guts to.
To chat with a girl on text.
For the next 15 mins, I stared blankly at my phone. I had typed a simple 'Hey' but did not have the courage to send it.
And suddenly my hand slipped. The text was sent. I was doomed. It was the first text I had ever sent to a girl and I instantly regretted it. I thought of deleting it before she could read it and suddenly it showed the message was seen.
'Holy shit. What will I do now?'
A text came back from her.
'Hey Adam! What are you doing now??'
Damn. She replied back so quickly.
I replied nothing much just bored and sent it. She read it and a reply didn't come for the next 2-3 mins.
'Why isn't she replying? Did I text something foolish?' I thought.
Then a voice recording of 1 min came up from her. Shit. I was shocked again.
'Why the hell is she recording stuff and sending it?'
She said that she was bored too and didn't have much to do. She had fun at our small meeting in the canteen and it's been a while since she had talked that freely with anybody.
After listening to her recording I felt a sense of duty. I shall also send a voice recording only.
I tried and failed 5 times to record anything. Texting was something I had always done but now I knew I was super uncomfortable recording my own voice.
I finally recorded something and first of all, sent it to myself to see how does it sound. It sounded human. I sent it and she replied back with laughing emojis. I finally felt a bit comfortable now.
We then talked for hours over text.
Talked about everything. Friends, family, past relationships, everything. Naturally, I didn't contribute much due to lack of experience and it was all her talking. I was just listening.
I felt like my dad who just listens while my mom does all the talking in the house. I laughed to myself.
To my surprise, she also didn't have any past relationships. She was always bothered by guys who would just propose to her out of the blue and then she would have trouble rejecting them. But the major reason she was single because she had a stalker in the past.
A fellow classmate of hers was attracted to her and stalked her. Eventually, she was not able to bear it and she complained to her dad. Being the influential person he was, he quickly closed the matter. The boy transferred schools and she was saved.
But that experience made her become distant from boys.
I felt bad for her. Even thinking about stalkers gave me chills. But I would be lying if a part of me was not thanking that stalker due to whom she remained single till now. I felt bad for thinking that way but I couldn't help it. I was a man in love. A selfish man in love.
Eventually, it was 3 a.m. and she said she was sleepy now. I had been sleepy for the past hour but somehow controlled myself. I quickly agreed and both of us hung up.
This was the first real conversation I had with Irena. Just me and her. In the class, I had to use Charlie as the wingman. But now even though by chance, I felt that I had finally graduated from the wingman's service.
17
February 2021:
Time passed by. It was February now and Valentine's Day was approaching.
Irena and I had become quite close. It started with conversations over text, then long phone calls and eventually I asked her out for walks across the campus. Things were going pretty smoothly for us.
I made plans for Valentine's and asked her out on a date in the city. She happily agreed. It felt that all my hard work was now finally paying off.
I really thanked Charlie who was the best wingman out there. Thanked Ethan who at times helped me in my early days of texting. Unwillingly thanked Seth who challenged me to ask her for a walk at night which eventually resulted in our first walk. Everybody some way or the other played their part and now I was feeling that everything would certainly fall in place.
Then came the 14th. We went on our first official date across the city. We went to the mall. I bought her some clothes and accessories. I thanked dad who was earning enough for me to spend.
We then watched a movie. It was a romantic movie. The genre which I hated the most. But on the contrary, she loved it so I sat through.
For the first time in my life, I watched a boring film and did not feel bored till the end. I just kept looking at her, sneaking peeks here and there. Her ever-changing expressions made this movie worth watching.
Then we had a romantic dinner at a fancy hotel and came back to the campus. I could see that she was happy throughout the day and my efforts paid off.
We were just walking back to her hostel and I felt that the moment had finally arrived.
I had organized a good date. I had been a good friend to her for the past months and now I felt this was the deciding moment. I stopped. She kept walking ahead and then turned back.
'Aren't you coming Adam?' she asked.
'No. There is something important that I need to tell you first.'
By this point of time, I had become quite proficient in reading her expressions. Today was 14th Feb, we were gone for a date for the entire day. And now I suddenly stopped and had something to tell her. It was easy to figure out from her face that she knew what I was going to say.
I had practiced a few times but still, the words will not come up. I had looked in the mirror and said those words looking into the eyes of the other side Adam.
But now I felt insanely nervous. My ears were burning. My body temperature which was just perfectly normal a second ago, now shot up to the heavens.
'What happened Adam? What do you have to say?' she asked.
I finally mustered the courage. Bent my neck down and looked to the ground.
I had practiced these words a million times. Eventually, I found a way of saying them in the most uncreepy fashion. But I forgot everything and said this:
'Irena! I love you. I don't remember exactly from when I have been in love with you but I believe I have loved you from the day I saw you the first time, when you came and sat in front of me. Please marry me.'
I finally said it. I was so embarrassed. I just wanted to jump off a cliff now. Slowly I looked upwards and her face looked shocked. The nervousness of rejection started creeping into my veins.
She finally spoke.
'See Adam, I also like you a lot. But I can't marry you. We are just a bunch of 20 years old kids.'
Shit. I finally realized what the hell I had said.
'No! No! No!' I exclaimed. 'I meant would you be my girlfriend? I just uttered marriage because of the lines that the hero said in the movie today.'
She started laughing. She laughed a lot. And then she finally said 'Yes.'
I had now become the happiest man in the world.
Both of us were feeling embarrassed. She said that the hostel was near and she could go on her own now. I agreed and began to walk back.
Just before that she came to me and said, 'You know the lines that you said, there were none like that in the movie. I know very well what movie you were watching and who exactly you were looking at, all the time. Good night Adam,' she smiled and returned back.
Damn. She knew everything.
I came back to my room and told the boys what had happened.
Within seconds, my place became the occasion for a drinking party.
Those bastards made me drink till I was wasted.
And I slept with a big grin on my face and we had officially started dating now.
But life is not that simple.
It hits us hard in the moments when we think we are at the peak of our happiness.