"Wha-" I stare at Victoria with a blank expression. Did she just say she loves me? And in such a way... she can only mean it like that. But, why? And since when? I don't even feel the same way. It's been so long since I have last felt affection towards someone, I don't even know if I can even feel love and affection anymore.
"What... do you mean?" I try to laugh it off.
"Well, that I love you of course~" She talks in a seductive and romantic voice. She touches my upper body.
"I have loved you since way back~" She talks further like this. It's almost like she isn't herself.
"What do you mean? No!" I push her away. "What has happened to you? Ever since you apparently lost your memories back then, you acted strangely. And now this! What am I to you? A plaything? Someone you can manipulate? Who do you think I am?!
Victoria looks shocked. She stares at me, her eyes full of sadness, but with a glint of anger.
"What are you saying...? You have always loved me too, right?" She sounds desperate, tears creeping out from her eyes. "You... do love me... right?"
I hesitate, thinking if I should tell her the truth... but what else should I do, lie to her?
I shake my head. "No. I don't. I like you as a Friend. But nothing more. In fact, I don't know if I ever have felt love and affection for anyone."
Victoria takes a few steps back, looking shocked. "You... you... you mean..."
She starts to cry. She falls to the ground and cries.
But for some reason I don't feel anything towards her. I don't feel any regret, any sadness, any empathy. I just stand there, looking at her with a blank expression, as if nothing is happening. I don't know myself why that is. Just a few moments ago, I felt happy, happy that I killed that bastard. But now... nothing. But why? Why?
I gasp. What if... no... that can't be. But what other choice do I have, but to try?
I walk up to Victoria and smile as best as I can.
I hug her. "Hey, Listen... I'm sorry. What I just said wasn't the truth. I... actually might have some feelings for you. Maybe... I just don't know it yet... I..."
Victoria looks up to me. "Really?" She wipes away her tears. And as if all my suspicions seem to be correct, the moment I see her smiling face, all my Feelings start to return. I suddenly start to cry.
"What!?! Have I done something wrong?" Victoria asks, shocked.
"No... no... you didn't. I just... don't know about myself anymore. I thought I did... but... I think I... don't know anything! I just don't know anything anymore! I can't take it! Why! Why is it that I have emotions when I see you smiling like this, happy like this!?! And why do they vanish when you start to turn away from me?!? When you are sad because of me?!? WHY!? TELL ME!"
Victoria looks at me, a bit disturbed... wait... no... she isn't disturbed... is that... a smile...? No... I must be mistaken. I probably am just seeing things. She could never...
And before I can think more, Victoria hugs me.
"Shhh... it's alright. I love you, you know that. I am always here for you. And I am sure that you will be a great leader for this nation. Not for this Kingdom..."
I look up, confused. "Not for this Kingdom? ...what do you mean with that? I am the queen, no?"
She shakes her Head. "Yes, but not for long. You will unite the Continent and form an Empire. I know it. Because you love me, right?"
"Because... I love you? No! It's because I want to. But... isn't this continent already united?"
She smirks. "No... oh no... it is far from united. There are still these many little pests all over the Continent. The one you'd call tribes. Those beings don't deserve to exist. They should be subjugated by us."
I look at her in Shock. "Subjugated? They shouldn't exist? What are you talking about? No! I don't want that I-" Victoria puts a finger on my mouth, making me shut up.
"No. You know that they are a thorn to our side. You know it. They hinder our love. We need to get rid of them." She talks in a calm, soothing voice.
"Our... love?"
"Yes... our love!"
I laugh. That's right. Our love. How could I forget. We love each other. I would do anything for her and our love.
"Yes. I will unite this Continent and become the Empress. All for you and our love."
Yes. That's it! Our love. Yes. And soon we will unite, our beings will unite. Then... there will be peace!
"Come here." Victoria beckons me, I draw closer. And soon after we kiss.
"I love you" I say it genuinely, I mean it. I truly love her.
"I love you too." She talks genuinely.
Later at night, I lie in Bed, sadly alone. Without my Love. Without my-
"ARGHHH!!" A sharp pain and panging in my head is obstructing my thinking Process.
"what is... happening to me... I... where am I?" I look around me. I am in my room.
It takes a while for me to recollect my Memories.
"So... I really did that... I... Urgh!!" I almost throw up, thinking about it. It's not that I am against it in itself, it's just the fact that I did it with her. That I had such thoughts. That I apparently want to commit mass genocide just for love.
I sit on my Bed, my Head resting on my Hand. I sigh.
"What was I thinking?" I ponder for a while... until that smile appears again. It's as vivid as ever, her devilishly evil smile.
"She did something with me, didn't she?" But what? What did she do? And why?
I can't seem to think of anything. Only one person comes to mind... Heira. But it can't be because of her. I think back to the words of the late king. That I am apparently the reincarnation of his wife. But that just seems odd.
I think for quite a while.
I then suddenly notice something. "What if..." What if I really was reincarnated a third time? What if my life before that, as a male, in this modern world, was just to keep me safe?
"But then..." But then, why am I...? Why am I not remembering anything?
"Wait!" Now that I think of it... I can't even really remember anything of my Past life. Only the End, my Death. And the knowledge I had gained until my death.
Wait a minute. Didn't Victoria say something similar back then too...?
I try to think. I try to think hard. So hard, I get a Headache.
"Arrghh! I can't think anymore! This damn Headache!" I stop thinking for now.
I lie in Bed and think of a Plan. I pull up my Phone and write a few memos of what it could be and what I can do against Victoria.
"I guess I just play pretend for now." I decide to go with her antics and pretend like I am still in a trance. I just hope I can save those tribes somehow.
With a heavy heart, and a strong burden, I go to sleep.