"How much?" Sam takes out his wallet, the taxi just dropped us at our street.
"Twenty kid"
"What- that's too much" Sam only hands him five bucks. "The train station isn't even that far"
The driver is insisting Sam to at least give fifteen bucks, but Sam stands firm on his ground, he does that. I'm waiting for them to end their quarrel, when I feel a sense of tangle crossee my neck and I'm intimated to look, as I turn around- in a flash, a car swerved in our lane, speeding, and moves in an angle that makes them slam the brakes, in little to no time the car crashed into a vehicle, a bike perhaps, sending shards of glass and twisted metal everywhere.
Sam turns back in horror and I dunked down as I flinched hard. Time seem to have been slowed down, my heart is racing, Sam quickly rushes to the scene, the driver of the car got out, he is shaken but conscious. The person sitting next to the driver is slumped over, bleeding from a gash on his forehead. But the man who was riding the bike is yet to be awoken, he's laying on the ground, covered in blood, the car happend to have crashed on his legs. "CALL 911!" Sam yells, "SOMEBODY call an ambulance!" And while I can't even move, Sam pulls the man up, gives him his shoulder to grab on, and seats him down in the uber we came In.
"Come on Ifan sit, we have to hurry" Sam yells, that's when my body breaks the pause I felt. I get in and we head to hospital.
All our way there, this feels like a now or never situation, I'm shook at how many people were only staring at him and not actually helping. "Fuck Ifan! He's the officer who negotiated me!" Sam relases a sharp noise of worry. "Really?" I let out a tense cry- We arrive at the hospital, our driver helps Sam Get Officer out of the car, the paramedic team sends nurses and took him half way through, layed him on a stretcher, Sam walked with him all the way to the operation room, nurses in between kept checking his vital signs, pulse, blood pressure and oxygen saturation. The nurse there stops us at the door. "You can't go in, you have to wait here."
"Yeah yeah- let us know please" Sam walks back and front intensely, I've never seen him that- worried before but I can understand how he feels. I've spend half of my childhood in hospitals because of my Dad, as his cancer grew stronger. The hospital walls remind me how us humans are just a mere second of life, fragile, and unpredictably vulnerable. No matter how rich or poor we are, we're all equally weak and susceptible.
We waited for a while. "Is he going to be alright?" I ask Sam. "Let's hope that way buddy." He pets my shoulder When I see a tall man wearing black coat, and a hat to cover his face, walks in the operation room. "I thought we weren't allowed to go inside?" I whisper in Sam's ear. "Maybe he's family" Sam responds calmly.
"Get out of my way!" Chad runs up to us.
What the- where is he coming from?
"What happend?" I say "Where are you coming from?"
Chad is panting hard- he's distressed, almost as if we're in trouble again. What in the bloody hell earth?! Why again?!
"Your-" He breathes in "Your- uncle is creating a scene." Chad puts his hand on his waist. I knew it.
"We'll be there." Sam stands up.
"What about the officer?" I say. "He's in good hands now" Sam taps my shoulder to keep me walking. "He discovered about Ayat, didn't he?" I ask chad while we take the elevator down.
Too much is happening in this little amount of time-
Is tonight the night my villain era will begin?
I lock breaths in, to be ready for whatever is yet to come.
.
.
We get out of Chad's car, Our neighbours are staring at us with a withal grim and not the nice kind. "Why are-"
I finish Sam's sentence "looking at us right?"
"Keep walking" Sam softly pulls me by my arm, he knows how anxious I get around people. "Do you want to leave?" His voice becomes so gentle that sometimes I don't even recognise him. "It's okay, let's go home" all our way home, everyone in our neighbourhood kept on staring as if we're some kind of freaks, we've been living here since as long as I can remember, what happened now? they're gossiping, pointing at us, and for some reason, they're even getting angry. I feel like a rock hit my stomach and throwing up is thought away. We soon get home after we tried to pretend like nothing was wrong, we see our house's door is wide opened, Sam spreads his arm to slightly push me back to stop me from moving any further.
"I don't feel good. something's wrong, stay here." He takes one step ahead but keeps me behind, he's only a year older than me but acts like this. Sometimes I feel like I've grown to be depended on him because he always stands in the way to have me in the shades. always been so protective of me, although after I took him home I should've been the one to protect him from all the harm, if only I had knew. but he always bleeds for me, He's doing everything in order to provide a good life for the both of us but yet pretends like what he's doing is nothing. He hides his dripping blood behind the sound of water rushing down without knowing I've always been just a step away from the door and I hear him. Him pounding his fists at the floor, I've heard him. his cries in the shower I've heard them, always been. He makes it seem so easy but I know it's not, I don't know why or what I did to have him be that way to me, I don't think I ever deserved any part of this. I never asked him to. And in this particular moment I guess we both know what's about to come isn't going to be good to us. Our uncle- I mean my uncle.. is standing in between the main door.
"Is something wrong uncle-" Sam is alarmed, without listening to what Sam was saying, my uncle shuts him down with his hand straight up in the air. "What am I hearing? Is it true?" My uncle steps out, he has that uncomfortable calmness on his face. I open my mouth to say something but Sam starts talking before me. "sorry?"
"Those criminals showed up at our house?" Uncle's nostrils flared, he's staring straight at us. He's talking about Mr Faisal's men, isn't he? my hands shiver at the thought of us being caught. my lungs feel heavy and my neck is sweating. He'll kill us now, he is, isn't he- we are dead meat. "Why were they here? For money? What did you guys do to them?" Uncle is making any assumption possible, Sam's quite, He doesn't correct him nor say anything, what is he doing!? say something Sam! From my ear to my brain, it hurts. Sam looks back at me "It's okay, it's okay Ifan I'll tell him" He tells me as if he knows I'm shivering, my throat feels dry. "Tell me what?" Uncle's tone got even heavier. And when Sam doesn't gives a response, in an instant Uncle drags him by his collars and heads inside, yelling and abusing to make him talk, Sam is struggling to push uncle away, he forces his feet on the ground, but Uncle is much stronger than him, I rush behind them to stop him before he can hurt Sam. Everyone's looking at us but no one Dares to steps up to help us, they're all just as equally to blame as my uncle, I've always heard the silent is worse than the one doing, And now I've witnessed it, it is true, they're all guilty.
"Please uncle let Sam talk" I say, my voice shivers, but uncle already threw Sam on the sofa. Sam's sweating, uncle's standing infront of Sam, he was about to take an action when we all hear glass shattering. Aunt's screaming, She comes downstairs crying, she's hitting her head in terror and keeps on repeating the same thing "She's gone, she's gone!" Is- is she- talking about..
"AYAT?" Uncle yells at her questing.
"She ran away, with all our respect, that badqardar girl made a joke of us" Aunt cries and falls down onto the ground, uncle immediately runs upstairs to check if that's true,
it is true.
I look at Sam, we both run behind him to at least explain something, Uncle bang opens Ayat's room door, cracking half the door, he knocks everything down, including the shelfs, yelling her name as he destroys the whole room like an animal. We both stay where we are, he stops the destruction for a minute, inhales a deep breath in and slowly turns to us.
"Did you two do this?" We say nothing, to what Uncle hits me, making me fall over and I hit my back against the wall.
"Don't touch him" Sam yells and pushes uncle, making both of them fall over the stairs, rolling down, Sam hits his head and Uncle stands before him, grabbing Sam by his shirt and punches his face, not once, but twice, and throws him onto the table, the glass table shatters. I run down to him and I hit uncle with my bat, it doesn't affect him a bit, instead he grasps my hair in his fist and pulls me up to him, my feet, bearly touching the floor "ow ow ow" I scream, trying hard to make him stop, I with both my hands try to open his fists that are clenching my hair, leave me alone. I cry out loud my voice is breaking, my anxiety shoots my nerves and I brust out in tears, I don't know what to do, he's not releasing me, Sam is not conscious. I don't know what hurts me more, my uncle abusing me or my neighbours letting it happen. Why are my screams not loud enough to be heard. Why is no one helping us, why does this had to be us. I cry even louder in hopes, that someone might feel even a little empathy towards us.
Sam gets up, he's trying but there's glass pieces stuck in his back, He pulls some pieces of glass out and the cuts bleed down.
Uncle kicks us out of the house, yelling. "Never show up here ever again, If I ever see your faces again I'll make sure there is no face to be seen. You both are dead to me now." He spits, and Aunt cries again.
We're both laying on the ground, neither one of our neighbour is brave enough to help us out, we are wounded. It would have been close to being okay if we were adults who they were not helping- but we're not, we're fucking children.
. . . . . . . . . .
We're at the the bridge. Cold, starving, and now homeless.
"What are we going to do now Sam?" I ask him. "I don't know buddy" He burries his face in his hands, unable to bear the weight of his emotions.
After we were left there in mud, chad came and helped us through his house, his parents started getting mad at him for taking us there, but he somehow convinced his parents to just let him at least bandage us. He helped us, we bandaged Sam's head, my wrist, my foot and Sam's arm.. and yes Sam's back was also covered In glass pieces, we took them out and plastered those as well. My foot was already in pain but it become worse when I was thrown down. We fought back but he's a grown aged man, We couldn't do much to defend us. We're both sitting now..
"We'll go to Mr Faisal, Tomorrow" Sam iches his chin. "But he said next Friday" I say.
"We don't have anywhere else to go now Ifan, we have to."
"Why do you believe in Mr Faisal so much Sam?" I ask, his jaw stiffens. "What makes you think that?"
"You favour him a lot"
"He's our only hope left"
"We can make other options available, you know."
"But he's the best option, you don't realise it" he turns his body towards me "Imagine having cool cars, full new suits and money that we can spend on whatever we want" He seem so excited. "I don't care much about other luxury, but I do like cars. They're brilliant. " I smile.
"Exactly my point! We can live. Not just breathe but actually live" His smile grows, and his dimples appears. Whatever concerns I have for Faisal has got to go because If he's happy than I'm happy.
"Whatever is in your head, better not cost us our lives."
We've been through so much, maybe- maybe for once I don't have to be so dull, maybe for once things might go how we want them to be. I'm tried of feeling Petrified all the time. Maybe I should just accept that something nice can actually happen to us. Maybe this can be good to us. Though nothing is ever good to us but- I feel so- out of place every second of our lives, for him for me. Which is Pathetic. What Sam is risking is our peace that we never had, so maybe risking our lives every day for Mr Faisal will be what brings life to our souls. Maybe- just maybe it'll be worth the danger.
Maybe I'll be able to face what I've been avoiding for so long. Myself.
If he's thinking about us, than I guess, it'd be good. I trust him.
"Do you know why I view the sea and the sky at the same time." Sam looks at me.
"Because they are never ending, No one has ever seen the end of them, and looking at something so deep reminds me how small we human creatures actually are, and that my brother gives me hope, the will to just snap out of whatever remorse I'm feeling at the moment and I need to get ahead of it, because nothing in the world is deep enough to ruin yourself for it."
"You're just saying this because you had nothing to lose after your parents died." I turn my face away.
"I have you" His eyes fond deeper.
"When.. if by some reason you lose me, would you say the same thing?" I ask.
"That?" He blinks.
"That losing Ifan wasn't that deep.."
"But I'm not losing you"
"I hope it stays that way."
We're eighteen, we have our whole life ahead of us. We never know. We can never be sure of something we haven't lived.
"I would rather lose myself, than let you go" Sam throws his arm around my shoulder.
"Ouch, don't come closer, it hurts."
"But I love youu" Sam dramaticly teases me. "You're an ass" I laugh. "Say it back" He playfully pokes my head with his finger. "That's bloody ticklish!" I yell. "Say it back!"
"Say what back?" I ask, laughing. "That you love me, too!" He nudges me. "Shut up" I roll my eyes. "Fine I'm leaving!" He tries getting up. "okay okay fine! I love you" I yell, because he's walking away. "Come back!" I run to him as I throw my arm around his shoulder. "I'm craving sushi" I say. "I despise fish" Sam gaggs, I laugh, and we both walk away.