07-may-2017
"Sam, hurry, we'll be late for our tuition classes" Ifan calls me to the dinning table, everyone's having lunch, I tie my shoes and get up from the stairs rubbing dust off of my pants as I walk towards the table. "nah I'm not hungry buddy" I tell Ifan "At least have juice or else you'll faint." Ifan pours juice in two cups and passes me mine. "If he's not hungry, that's not our headache to take care of, it's I who pay for your meals anyways." his uncle spoke his dirty words as he always does on meal times, I was about to take a sip but then I didn't and slammed the cup onto the table. I try to control my anger which is ready to burst out when he says "and what do you kids think you're doing going to tuition? I will not pay for that shit!"
"We're paying for it ourselves while working at the bookstore as cashiers." I place my statement on his face before he can get angry I leave him hanging. "Wait for me" Ifan runs behind me. It's been eight years, since my mom died, Ifan's Grandfather took custody of me after that incident. I stay with Ifan at his uncle's house, though his uncle never really wanted me in their house, he figured out that my fortune was quite big, so he offered me his house in-return of my deposit, I agreed to the terms because I had no other option, I was ten.
I had no where else to live, besides Ifan also convinced me to stay with him and his younger sister Ayat, his uncle isn't very nice to them either, jokes on him we don't plan on living with him for much long. Ifan hasn't left my side ever since I became an orphan.
And I sometimes feel guilty for it because were I saw his house as an opportunity, he saw me as a friend. We're close now. But I still feel the urge to- provide.
Maybe he convinced me because only he can truly understand what it's like living as an orphan, because for some unreadable reason universe decided to gave us the same condition to live under.
As orphans of course.
This world isn't really build for children like us. Everyone's either selfish or taking advantage of us. His uncle got all the money my parents saved to give me good education, and as selfish as he is, of course he kept it all for himself. I don't study anymore, I go to a local academy with Ifan, that probably won't get us into any good university, but I have different plans, we were treated good until ifan's grandfather was alive because he was the one who first agreed to keep me, after he passed away five years ago, we've been getting beaten up every night. The grief I have for him, let's say our grandpa is different than what I've ever felt, it's like it's there but at the same time it's not. his uncle thinks we are a burden to handle. Burden he soon will get rid of once we're legal, so that he can get my fortune when I turn twenty-one. tomorrow's my nineteenth birthday. as soon as he gets what he wants he'll most probably kick us out. Our life isn't an ideal life, never was, never will be. It's shit, complete utter bullshit.
"I'm sorry bud" Ifan says while we take our seats in the academy, "it's not your fault, one day I'll grab him by his collars and head bump him in the head" I make a joke out of it, Ifan laughs at it. Our time ends and once again I didn't learn anything at all, whatsoever. I Try, I just can't seem to understand anything, my head is full of other thoughts. We leave our academy and on our way back we grab some sandwiches and juice boxes. We soon reached home. "I'll check on Ayat" Ifan opens the main door. I nod and head straight to wash myself up.
My house is burning! Where's my mom?
The roof fell down!
Fire!
Water! someone BRING WATER PLEASE! Please anyone! anybody!
I splash water on my face, what the- my heart rate fastens, I thought those blackouts ended. I take deep sigh in, I stretch my arms and place my hands onto the counter next to wash basin. When I was eleven I started getting these panic attacks where I would lose complete control of myself and my whole body would feel like burning up as if I was the one in my house that day. After every attack I'd get so sweaty and my body temperature would cross a hundred degrees. I never knew what was happening to me, I was so young to even begin with.
I haven't gotten an attack for almost a year now. I thought I was getting better. Stupid drainage, won't suck the water quick, what a shitthole.
I rub my face with Ifan's towel and head out when I hear Ifan mutter about something.
"Yr Ayat please can you just listen?"
I walk closer to find out what's happening, he's standing outside of Ayat's room, the door's locked, she's fusing about something I clearly don't know. Ayat is Ifan's younger sister, I should mention she's smarter than both of us combined.
"I don't want to listen!" she yells without opening the door, her voice come out muffled. Ifan sighs and sits infront of the door, his hand is still In a fist, he looks up at me and lowers his hand.
"Ayat if you won't listen to me or even talk to me, how am I supposed solve the situation." he says "you need to talk to me please." Ifan is steady, gentle and soft when it comes to Ayat. he's never that soft when he's consoling me, what an ass.
A few minutes went by, as Ifan was about to stand back up, we heard the door unlocking, she slightly opens the door, enough to only see half of her face, I turn around completely giving her privacy, no one can enter her room according to the rules and laws their uncle made, specially me because I'm nonmehram to her. Only Ifan can enter her room or even see her. Ifan goes inside, I can see from the corner of my eye. Ayat is annoyingly yapping about something and sits on her bed, the door's still semi half way opened, I can see Ifan calmly handling the situation, he sat down on his knees infront of Ayat, softly taking her hands in his. I do know I shouldn't but I envy this kind of love, which is pure. I squint my eyes because if I pay more attention I can actually listen to what they might be saying.
"Ifan you don't understand, what am I supposed to do, just agree to whatever they say or do to me?" Ayat's furious, my jaw stiffens to the idea of someone upsetting her, though I haven't even had a proper conversation with her after we turned fourteen.
"Sam and I are trying to figure something out, it'll be helpful trust me."
"What exactly can you guys do?"
"When it's final we'll tell you" he's bluffing, we haven't thought of anything yet.
"What If it's too late."
"I won't let it be, tell me what's wrong now?" as soon as Ayat was about to tell Ifan what had actually happened that made her so upset, I hear footsteps coming from behind me, I immediately turn away to see Aunt is coming upstairs "What are you doing standing there?" Aunt struggles to take the last stair step up and reaches her hand to grab stair railing to maintain balance. "If it's so hard for you to walk up the stairs, why even bother to come?" I say to mock her because I hate her and I want her to crumble down the stairs. "You brat" she bumps into my shoulder, purposefully trying to make my inner demon come out. and leaves. She's so ugly. I'll strangel her one day. I regain my focus on what Ayat was telling Ifan. Aunt completely distracted me. When I do regain my focus I hear payal, beautiful sound of payal, I shouldn't look but I'm intimated, I slightly turn and my gaze drops straight to Ayat's ankle, its hers, she's wearing a pair of silver thin moon payal.
And I look back all the way around.
back to square one. The rules. All of a sudden it's getting hot in here, maybe I should just go upstairs, I clear my throat while fake coughing to get their attention.
"If ya'll's lovey dovey convo is finished can we have a serious talk ifan?" I say, I knew Ifan was coming out but when he did came for some reason it got me all startled. "What are you so afraid of?" Ifan's confusion makes me laugh.
"Nahi, nothing."
"Sam we need to run away." Ifan looks so done with his life right now, I don't like this a single bit, what did she tell him to make him look this bad.
"What happened? Lets go upstairs and have a talk" I grab his shoulder, but he forced himself to stay.
"Sam, you have no idea what's happening" his eyebrows get pulled down.
"Then fill me in, what is happening?"
"She's probably listening." Ifan side eyes me. Ayat is ears dropping from inside her room.
"It's just- I don't know how to tell you."
"Tell me, you know I'll never judge." I consol him.
"They're-"
"What are you two planning about this time huh" His uncle interpreted Ifan. Why is no one letting me hear what's going on. Where did he even came from "I always knew you two were planning on murdering me." He opens his wide nasty mouth again, I swear I'll break his teeth when I get the chance to. Whenever he talks, it's always something bad, degrading or to make us uncomfortable. His voice is cranky, loud and so not want to hear, he's always wearing old rusted clothes and he always rank from alcohol smell. He's even uglier than Aunt. "If we were to plan on murdering you, Don't you think we already would have." I say, Ifan bumps my elbow, he's afraid of him. Not me, and of course he punches me making my balance tremble, Ifan puts his hand on my back, I didn't hit the ground but my jawline clenched, and my nose starts to bleed. Ifan apologises on my behalf but uncle pushes him, too and leaves stomping away. I crack my jaw with my hand, ow fuck. "Why would you talk back to him when you know he's a dog." a tear falls down his face. Now I feel bad. "Bro don't cry. It doesn't even hurt that much." I wipe his tear. "your eye is getting purple, its swelling" it's the worry he has in his voice that breaks my heart "no no it'll be okay till Morning" I give him a hug making his head go in my shoulder so that I can't pet the back of his head. he mumbles something against my shoulder, I laugh at whatever he said. "me too Ifan, me too."
Do you Sam?
. . . .
It's 12 aclock.
"Surprise!" Ifan and Ayat shows up out of nowhere, both of them are so glittery with birthday hats and carrying a cake that says "19th"
"Woah where did you guys appear from." I was about to sleep on the rooftop when they came.
"We brought you cake!" Ayat says, her voice is so sweet and calm.
"you guys! why would you bother yourself" I fist bump Ifan.
"If not for you, then for who?" Ifan places the cake on a small wooden table that is right beside my mattress. The cake is filled with candles that light our night so bright, the stars are shining now. "Blow your candles now Sam, make a wish but don't tell us." Ifan chuckles evilously and sits next to me, Ayat is standing infront of us ready to sing my birthday song. I blow out my candles.
"Yay" both of them starts applauding, Ayat giggles and my night is already straight out of the movies.
You're a terrible person.
You're selfish and needy.
You're not doing anything for them, all you do is for yourself . Don't deny.
What?
In the back of my mind, this person died a long time ago. I made him fade. I'm not that child anymore.
"Thankyou! couldn't ask for a better birthday" I put my arm around Ifan's shoulder. "I have a gift for you" Ayat hands me a small box wrapped in packaging. I tear it open. "Tadah" she sings. Its a handmade bracelet, with black charms tied onto a thread. "Aw thankyou kid" I say but it's kind of awkward since we don't talk that much or even sit together. It's so rare. But I guess she cares about me, I didn't think she cared because we've only talked twice in our life and both times we ended up in an argument. "Sorry Sam I couldn't get you anything, my money got spent on the cake" Ifan looks away, "cake is a gift." I reassure him, we laughed and ate together. Soon then Ayat left to sleep and Ifan stayed. I think now's the right time to ask him about what Ayat told him earlier today.
"Ifan, what was Ayat telling you about today?" I say. Ifan's face turns pale again, he took a deep sigh and turns his attention to me.
"They're getting Ayat married forcefully" What?
The fuck?
Married?
We all knew their uncle was an asshole, I didn't knew he would go that far, he's getting rid of her by getting her married? she's seventeen years old for God's sake.
Crime of child marriage can be fixed if you have the right amount of power. We Don't.
what an absolute disturbing way to get rid
of someone, My fists clenched.
What a pity and Pathetic world we live in.
"We will run away before that can happen right" Ifan asks me but his voice is filled with doubts.
"Yea- yes" I'm too stunned to even speak, my thoughts are grumbling over. I clear my throat and repeat "yes, we'll figure a way out before that can happen."
"The date is fixed, they're sending her away next month, what will we do in just twenty days?" His questions are valid, I guess I'll just have to tell Ifan what I've thought of us doing, he certainly will not like the idea of it, but that's the only way I can- we can save ourselves now.
"I have an idea, but its too risky. Have you heard of Mr Faisal?"
"The one, whose name is prohibited to say?"
"Yes he's the one"
"Look Sam" He checks to see if somebody's listening before saying.
"I'm not doing anything wrong, or illegal, I have a sister" I laugh at his worry to ease him and the situation down.
"Bro what do you think of me?" he's not laughing, "though it's not a job of sex workers, but it is something a bit too risky" I say.
"What is it?"
I took a step closer and leaned in to whisper. "We'll be transporting hard core drugs"
He pushes me away and stood up, taking his steps back, I knew this would be his reaction.
"No- no what? Are you out of your mind?" Ifan's giving me his classic disappointing look, I can see, I gave him an ick, I'll just explain myself and surely he'll get it.
"Listen Ifan, you have no idea how hard it is to live in the practical life, nor do I. But we can't live like this, can we? You said it yourself, that we need to get her out of here. And this is the only way we can earn more money in less time. We're not adults, we're not professionals, Sure we'll try apply somwhere else, too. But bro you need to understand the fact that we're just teens with no parents. As soon as I get to know more about Mr Faisal, I'll tell you." I feel so out of breath, He's silent. "Trust me we'll do figure something out in time, I wouldn't let anything happen to her or you either-"
"Yea I get your point, but how are we going to help Ayat? how are we going to get her out of here? We can't just take her to some God knows what drug place." Ifan says interpretly.
"I'll find something out, you idiot"
"You're an idiot" How dare he call me an idiot, he's lucky I don't smack his face. "Whatever's on your mind, it better be worth risking our lives."
"It will be." I have absolutely no plan prepared in my mind, whatsoever.
"So you're saying you'll Mange everything?" He blinks. "Everything will be under control." I'm lying. I'm bluffing, I'm a terrible person. The only reason I suggested Mr Faisal, isn't because he's the only option but because he's the only person I would rather ask different options from, than to explore those options myself.
Who are you lying to Sam?
The only reason you thought of Faisal is because you seek validation of power.
I wish things didn't had to be this hard.
Strangled congitations might be a path to somewhere.
We already have a Reason.
I sigh.
All we need now, Is a Lead.