LUO FAN
"Where are we going?" I asked Jinjing as I followed her down a pathway in the middle of tall grasses.
This morning, after we had our breakfast, she had invited me out for a walk. It was almost noon now and we were supposed to go back to her house to cook for lunch, but she had decided to drop by this place first.
"We're here," she replied and stopped.
I also stopped.
Although I saw nothing but dark and light, I still turned my head around. The tall grasses surrounding me were not exactly what I had thought. They looked very familiar to me. We're in the middle of a bamboo forest.
"What are we doing here?" I asked.
"You broke your stick last night, so I'll get you a new one." She had her back on me, but I could clearly see her shadow holding a pointed object. I had an idea what it was but was not sure until I heard the sound of a knife chopping off something.
Has she been holding that knife the moment we walked out of her house?
"Why do you have a knife with you?" I asked.
"After last night, I'm afraid those men might come back for us," she replied without turning to look at me. "So I have to carry a weapon for our protection."
"You should not point a knife against anyone. It's dangerous."
"I will if it's necessary."
"Do you even know how to use it? Have you ever fought with a knife before?"
She sighed and paused from what she was doing. "No."
"Then don't carry a knife or you might end up being the victim. When you're in danger, do not engage in a fight and just run if you can, so hold something that can distract instead to buy you time to escape."
"Like what?"
I found myself unable to answer. From where I grew up, violence and bullying were rare, so I had never felt the need to carry a weapon with me. Even though I used to own a sword, I had only used it for practice and duels.
Then I remembered something that my sect brother had shown me before. "I've seen a small round object that produces a lot of smoke if you smash it against a hard surface."
"A smoke bomb?" she asked.
I nodded.
She laughed. "Yes, I've seen that too. However, it's not cheap. Only the rich can afford that."
"How much is a piece?"
"If I'm not mistaken, one piece is three silver coins."
I was speechless. If I had not lost my purse, I definitely would buy her one.
"I can't even earn that in a month, so let's forget about it. Our best course is to not make any enemies. So the next time we get into trouble, do not engage in a fight."
My own advice backfired on me. I had actually tried to avoid fighting with those drunk men, but I should have tried even harder.
She was right. For the likes of us, we were not in a position to make enemies. We should just swallow our pride and scamper away like rats.
"My mistake." I cupped my hands and lowered my head. "I'll see to it that it will not happen again."
She giggled. "You don't have to be so courteous with me."
"You're a woman. I must give you my utmost courtesy."
"Fine, fine." She laughed again. "You are so nice. Were you raised in a temple or something?"
I could not speak. I did not want to hide things from her after she had saved my life, but I did not want to recall my past either. I most especially did not want to even talk about it.
I forced out a smile and wished she would not press further with her question, and I was glad she did not.
She pulled the stick she just cut down instead and chopped the leaves off.
"I can probably do that," I volunteered.
"No need," she replied. "This is my gift for you, so I should do all the work. I'll make it clean and smooth so you will not hurt your fingers."
My heart contracted.
Who would not be moved by such kindness?
"That's so kind of you," I said.
"Because you are good to me," she replied. "For a woman like me, most men see me as nothing but filth. But you're different from them. You see me as a woman regardless of my past, and you treat me with respect. Even if you can barely see, you brave the dangerous streets at night just to pick me up from the brothel, to make sure that I make it home safely, and you even defended me from those drunk." She paused and I heard her sniff.
I wondered why she was crying.
"It's only fair that I must return your kindness. You're the only man who had been good to me. I had almost forgotten how it feels to be a woman until you reminded me of it. You have brought back some self-worth that I had long lost."
My heart was filled with pity. I did not feel like I deserved her praises, however, because I used to regard women of her status as women who had fallen from grace. I used to view them as weak people who had easily succumbed to the devil's temptation.
I was just a naïve man back then. I had never understood the real meaning of suffering, of being poor. Although I was not rich and I barely owned anything, I had never experienced hunger, I had always had a room and a comfortable bed to sleep on, and I never had to pay for monthly rent or buy anything I wanted or needed. I could just write a request for anything, personal or not, and it would be delivered to me.
But the outside world was different. Nothing was free. Everyone had to work just to eat, and even work was scarce. Many people couldn't afford three meals in a day. Some could not even afford one.
I knew better now. Although I had only been staying with Jinjing for two months, I had already learned a lot.
"Here."
Her voice woke me up from my deep pondering, and then I felt the tip of the bamboo stick touching my finger.
"See if it's good enough for you," she continued.
I took the stick and ran a hand along its length. It was smooth all the way to the other end. "It's perfect. Thank you."
"Wait. I'll make it even more special," she said and took the stick back from me.
I was not sure what she was doing, but from the movement of her arms, it seemed she was wrapping something around the stick.
"There you go," she said and handed the stick back to me. "That's my favorite scarf, so take care of it."
I smiled as I felt the silk wrapped around one end of the stick. Silk was a luxurious commodity that very few commoners could afford, so this must be precious to her. "You don't have to put your scarf here. It's a waste of good fabric."
"It's a gift, so of course it has to be special. If you refuse it, I'd be offended."
For a moment, I was in a dilemma. She had already helped me a lot and I felt so bad that I kept taking from her, but I did not want to offend her generosity either. "Thank you. I'll cherish it."
"You're welcome."
I stepped closer to her and hugged her gently. She momentarily stiffened, but a moment later, she raised her arms and stroked my back.
"Alright," she said after I pulled away. "Let's get out of here before the snakes find us." She grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of the dense bamboo forest.
I felt so light inside me. Although she was holding my hand, there was no malice between us. The touch was pure and innocent.
It felt like I had just gained a sister. The sibling relationship we had developed over the past two months had paved away the awkwardness of us living together under the same roof. As the days passed, the bond only grew deeper.