LUO FAN
"That man is a freak," Jinjing said softly as we entered the gate to her house. It was already late at night so we had to speak quietly so as not to bother the neighbors. "To think that he's even so good-looking."
"He is?" I asked. Although I knew that the man had an amazing physique, I wasn't sure about his face.
"He really is."
"More handsome than I am?"
"You're beautiful. He's handsome. You two can't be compared."
"Why can't I be handsome?"
"Because you're beautiful."
The discussion was going in circles, so I might as well drop it. "A good face does not define a character, perhaps."
"You're right, except from you, I supposed." She opened the door and let me in. "You are beautiful both inside and out."
"You don't stop humoring me."
"Do you not believe?"
"We should eat. I'm sure you're hungry."
I went to the stove and was glad that the ember had kept the food warm. I put it in a big bowl and brought it to the table. Jinjing had also placed two bowls, chopsticks, and the food she had wrapped up on the table.
"You must have caught that man's attention earlier," she said as we settled down.
"What could I have done to catch his attention?"
"I don't know. Maybe because you're too beautiful."
"He's a man. How could he be interested in me?"
"That drunk man from before… Chang Tao, remember? He was also attracted to you."
Who could forget that man?
"He was drunk he did not know what he was saying."
She sighed. "You probably have never seen two men falling for each other."
I frowned. "Is that possible?"
She giggled. "Fan, you really are too naïve. In this city, it's not unusual to see that anymore."
I was speechless. I could not begin to imagine it.
Two men?
"So…" I was so intrigued. I knew it was not proper to talk about such things with a woman, but I could not help my curiosity. "How do they copulate?"
She laughed again. "Fan, it's not good to talk about those things over dinner."
My cheeks turned hot. "I apologize."
"Here, try this." She put a few pieces of meat in my bowl.
I took one in and forced out a smile.
Before I went to pick Jinjing up earlier, I had been looking forward to enjoying a meal with her, but after encountering that mysterious man, I had suddenly lost my appetite.
I tried to pretend that the man did not bother me much, but he actually did. Someone had already found out my whereabouts, and it was someone I could not defeat in battle. I was afraid that Jinjing might be implicated, and if I really cared about her, I should leave immediately.
But where should I go? Without money, how can I sustain myself?
"Fan, I have a question," she said, clueless about my dilemma.
"Just ask."
"…Is it true what that rude man said earlier? That you're a priest?"
I sighed and nodded. "I was, but I'm not sure if I still am."
"That did not surprise me very much. Based on your personality and especially with the way you speak, I had expected it, but there's one thing I had not… Were you… a disciple of a sect?"
I lowered my eyes and could not respond for a moment. "It is true."
"So you're proficient in martial arts? You lied to me when you said that you only know some basic things?"
I sighed. "I'm sorry. I did not mean to lie to you. It's just that…"
"What?"
I sighed again. "Jinjing, I'm not the same man as before anymore. I had done something terrible, and because of that, they had nullified my cultivation and banished me out of the sect."
She was silent. I was sure she was dumbfounded and was probably unsure if she could still trust me.
"Forgive me for keeping a secret from you. I was afraid that if you knew, you would not want to have anything to do with me anymore. I will leave first thing in the morning if my presence here is no longer wanted."
"No." She quickly put her hand over mine. "I didn't mean that. I was just shocked. I didn't expect…"
"I'm sorry."
She squeezed my hand. "I still believe that you're a good man. I'm sure that whatever you've done, you did not do so intentionally."
I drew a deep breath of relief. "Thank you. Someday, I will tell you all about it. Not now. It's still too painful to even think about it."
"If you can't talk about it, you don't have to."
"Thank you."
"One more question. Is Wei Fan your full name?"
I sighed again. "My master had given me that name, but I'd prefer it if you call me by my real name. Luo Fan."
"Oh." She pondered for a moment. "I think I've gotten used to calling you just Fan. I won't change it."
I smiled. "I prefer it too."