"Backdated uhn", i held out the paper, it was starting to wear out , Proximus landed on my window, using her beak to tap the glass
"Bitch cut it out, i wanna be alone"
Proximus : "Yo mama is a bitch, open the fvcking door"
"That's the freaking window, why don't you pass the front door , Captain Stupid"
Proximus : "Yo momma is stupid"
"Hey hey, what's the deal with my momma?"
Proximus : "OPEN THE FVCKING WINDOOOOOOW!!"
He knocks the window the more with his tiny beak pushing it a little bit forward in, he lost balance and falls into the bucket which i previously set down filled with fermented gale
Proximus : "Son of aaaaa bitch, I swear I'm gonna.."
"Gotcha" /Laughing Hystetically/ "I told you, you birds are stupid, like ..how do you fall for that every single time".
Proximus : "Alright alright , you got me ..aint gonna repeat itself tomorrow"
I was still laughing so hard and pointing at him when I walked forward and stepped on the spilled gale, then fell down loudly too. I thought I heard my spine crack. Proximus squealed so loud and we both nearly choked from laughter.
I never really like to call Proximus my pet, He is like family , he has been by my side since when I picked him at the guardians Initiation when I was 2 years old. Since when I was born, The Guardians had always believed that I was in a way like them starting from the day when Amazu, the Infamous Falcon, leapt down from the open skies to protect me from a creeping serpent ..so they blessed me with the 'Wings Curse', a very unusual ability to understand and 'mimmick' winged creatures.
Every 70 years, 7 new kids are chosen to become a Guardian. At My Year 7, during the Guardians initiation, each kid were to pick their spirit animal which would watch over and guard them and since i was already blessed with the winged curse, it was natural i picked a bird. Proximus is a Nakuta, otherwise known as Owl on planet earth, Proximus is the most ugliest looking bird on Nexon but there was something strangely calm and innocent about his looks when i "chose" him. Proximus has never ever never ever never guarded himself not to talk of guarding me. He once jumped into a river and nearly drowned and when i asked him, he said "Ducks swim, Penguins swim, why the hell not, I just wanna feel the cold ocean on my skin bruv"
**********************************************
Proximus : "What's funny?"
"Nah, nothing really, just remembering some things"
Proximus : "What is written on that paper?"
"This? ..ever heard of simulation"?
Proximus : "Ever heard of simulation"
"Ever heard of it?"
Proximus : "Yes"
"What's it?"
Proximus : "What do you mean what is heat? You don't know heat? Or is there another variant? Spell it?"
"But you just said you've heard of it, S I M U L A T I O N"
Proximus : /Stares at me in disbelief/ "You high on cheap weed? Heat is a four letter word bro"
"What???"
Proximus : "Yea"
/Stares at him blankly/
How do i manage to keep up with this bird? I communicate with so many animals daily, And apart from tatusula, No one is as dumb , although sometimes I think Proximus does it on purpose. He has a very twisted sense of humour which comes in handy in some situations.
I picked up the remote control to turn on the Discovery Channel.
Proximus : "Oh, yeah baby, isn't that the What If Guy, that dude voice scares the crap out of me, its like listening to two gigantus making love"
"Its called English, that's the British accent ,On earth, thats a general language, you snould take some classes, im tired of listening to your crappy squeaking, it's driving me crazy"
Proximus : /Instantaneosly Manufactures a British accent/ "Bloody hell, now I just feel like you're mocking me mate, I'm gonna bash ya with a bohul of woha, you stupid lot."
"MUDAFAKA! ,You mean you been stressing me the whole time"
Proximus : /Squeaks/ "You underestimate me lot mate" /Taps the remote with his beak to increase the volume of the TV set/ "Yo check this out, did he just say the earth had two moons?"
Now we were both paying rapt attention to the narrator's voice on the "What If" science show
Narrator : "Both of these two moons formed when a mars sized protoplanet slammed into earth and shattered into small pieces And shattered into small pieces and shattered into small pieces" /TV Glitches/ "and shattered into small pieces and shattered into…"
Proximus : "The fvck is going on?"
"That's weird, something is disrupting the signal"
At this moment we heard a loud bang and felt the whole ground tremble beneath our feet
Proximus : "A quake?"
"That's Unlikely! Nexus has never experienced a quake before"
We heard another bang again , this time it was the door, Janet rushed in and banged the door behind her. Some plates, spoons and a plastic bottle fell to the floor adding to the noise.
Janet : "Michael!!" /Breathing heavily/ "Mike, Its so crazy out there"
"What's out there"?
At this moment , Proximus eyes widened, and glowed green, the hairs on his ear straightened so hard, he rotated his head 120° backwards. This only happens when he senses danger
"What did you hear?"
Proximus : "THE ...WITCH ...AWAKENS!!!"