Jeong Taeui closed the bathroom door and walked over to the desk. He glanced at the mirror and saw his reflection. It was breathtaking. His entire body was flushed so much that it was impossible to hide it, like the image of a young boy in puberty.
"You have to manage yourself well, Jeong Taeui. You haven't been in the army for long and you're already letting yourself go like this. This isn't an easy place to be, what are you going to do if you lose your mind?"
Jeong Taeui muttered as he patted his cheeks twice, looking at the familiar number displayed on the screen, he thought for a moment then pressed the flashing light.
"Yes, hello."
"...I don't know why, but every time I call these past few days, it seems like you're the one who picks up."
Jeong Taeui thought of that familiar number, and sure enough, what appeared on the screen was that elegant and beautiful hand.
Suddenly he remembered Xin Lu's hand. His hand was smaller and cuter than that hand, the knuckles were also very small and cute. Completely different from this delicate hand that seemed to have been crafted from beeswax and glass.
How would it feel when that hand touched me? It would definitely be different from Xin Lu's warm hand.
Jeong Taeui smiled bitterly as he thought about Xin Lu.
"Let me see. I should be the one wondering. How often do you keep in touch with my uncle that you call every time I come here?"
"To be exact, you were always there when I called, Taeil. But it's only been recently that I've been in touch. Until now, I rarely called."
"Why? Because my uncle urged you to send Laurent Gastilet's book as soon as possible?"
Jeong Taeui pulled out a chair and sat down, laughing helplessly. But then again, this man wasn't a used book broker. No, maybe that was his side job.
"Haha, if it was that book, I would have sent it already. I sent it by sea but it should arrive before the end of this month."
Ilay laughed. Even though the voice had been filtered through a voice changer, it still sounded pleasant and made him feel at ease. His burning head seemed to have cooled down a bit. The cool feeling made him feel very comfortable.
He had been wondering whether he should answer the phone or not, but it seemed he had made the right decision. The man gave off a cool and refreshing feeling.
Jeong Taeui stroked his falling hair and smiled vaguely. That sounds good, if that book comes here, I'll go and read it first. Jeong Taeui said to himself in a languid tone.
A moment of silence passed on the phone. The fingers tapping on the table seemed to be thinking about something.
"Taeil. What happened?"
A quiet voice spoke. The tone could have been annoying, but unexpectedly, his mood wasn't that bad. On the contrary, it made him want to talk more.
"Do I look like something's wrong?"
"Your face says it all, red."
"..."
Jeong Taeui rubbed his face roughly with the back of his hand. It had only been a little cool, but now it was all red.
"You look so complicated. Stuck in a simple world limited to an island. What's so troubling about it?"
"...Ilay. If it were you then…"
Jeong Taeui dragged on his words for a moment. He hesitated a bit because he felt like he was forcing someone he didn't know to listen to a drunk like him. But the words had already left his mouth anyway.
"Have you ever been in a sexually immoral situation?"
Jeong Taeui said seriously. There was a brief silence on the phone. And then the man replied in a calm voice as if it was a topic he had not thought about.
"I don't know what you mean by things that are against 'sexual morality'. What exactly are you talking about? If it's immoral relationships, then let's see, do you mean sexual relations with blood relatives? Or with married people? Or sexual assault and rape, or other taboo human behavior….? If you're conservative, it could also be homosexual relationships. Well, there are so many that I don't know which one you're referring to. Pick one."
"...Let's see…If I have to choose one of them then…This isn't such an immoral act."
Jeong Taeui replied without hesitation as he heard the words about the dark side of humanity. Hearing those words made him feel a little better. After all, he hadn't thought of anything beyond those taboos. Although one of them was an exception.
"Moral decadence?"
Ilay seemed to laugh. And then he added.
"Because I clearly distinguish between needs and feelings. So there are probably many times when things go against sexual ethics, as you mean. So, I am also very curious about what sexual ethics you are talking about today."
"...."
"What happened? Did someone attack you and leave?"
"...."
Why is this man's way of thinking so extreme? Not only is it extreme, but he also says strange things in strange directions that I have never thought of.
Jeong Taeui sighed deeply.
"I didn't think any blind man would do that to me. No, it's not a big deal…How should I put it, it sounds ridiculous if I say it, but when the guy I had my eye on touched me, I got excited like an immature teenager and got a little hard…"
Not knowing what to say next, Jeong Taeui hesitated for a moment. The other end of the line fell silent. The fingers that had stopped now continued to tap on the table, rhythmically.
'That, is why…' He muttered, then as if understanding something, the man said 'Ah ha'.
"So you harassed that person? You regret it, huh?"
This time too, Ilay uttered strange words with strange thoughts.
Jeong Taeui looked at the screen with a bewildered face and sighed.
"No, it wasn't like that. It wasn't when we were in bed or in an intimate atmosphere. It was just that after drinking tea and talking normally, I got excited over someone who had no feelings for me."
"Hmm…?"
His fingers tapped lightly on the table. Jeong Taeui watched the movement of his hand intently. He probably understood the general idea of what he meant. He immediately responded.
"I'm not sure either. It's not like I don't know what's going on in your head… But it's hard to understand because I've never experienced such shame. That kind of feeling doesn't help my life anyway. If it were me, I'd rather take the opportunity to do it right away. Instead of being dissatisfied with my needs and moaning with a red face."
Jeong Taeui frowned. He tried touching his cheek to see if it was still hot. It was really useless to drink beer.
"Playing a match…how is the other party's mood?"
Ilay did not reply, he seemed to be thinking about something. Jeong Taeui realized that this man also had his own answer, but he deliberately did not say it. After a while, the man spoke.
"If I wanted to, I would have slept with that person first. Feelings are just temporary, so I don't think it's worth worrying about that much. Or, I should say, I don't think temporary needs come before long-term feelings—if there really is such a thing."
"Are you a hedonist?"
"That could be said."
He smiled happily as he replied. Jeong Taeui also nodded. Although he could not agree with the man's way of thinking, he could understand what he wanted to say. Jeong Taeui was not someone who would ignore the release of temporary desires. But even so, this man's way of thinking was still very different in some aspects.
Jeong Taeui smiled and rubbed the back of his neck.
Aside from having different thoughts, it wasn't bad for the conversations to flow without any hitches like this. Talking to this man always felt comfortable and enjoyable that way.
Suddenly, Ilay burst out laughing as if he had just thought of something interesting.
"Every time I talk to you, I think about this. You really are very different from Jeong Jaeil."
"He is completely different from me. Have you been talking to me all this time and searching for your brother's image in me?"
"Even though it's not like that, I still think of you as Jeong Jaeil's younger brother."
Jeong Taeui sighed and laughed. Was this man also approaching him because of his genius brother? No, but it was hard to say that he had approached him. To be fair, he was more interested in Jeong Taeui because he was Jeong Jaeui's younger brother.
He was past the age where he should be upset about it. And anyway, it had become a part of his life, so it wasn't worth worrying about anymore.
"You seem to care about my brother."
When Jeong Taeui replied with hidden meaning, the man smiled calmly and replied calmly.
"Who wouldn't be interested in the genius Jeong Jaeui? At least, there's no one around me who isn't."
"Haha, that's right. So how do those differences compare?"
"Hm? Compare… …. I've never compared, but let me think about it….. ….And it's true that I don't need to think too hard to know."
"Haha, so how are we different?"
"Jeong Jaeil is more 'human'. In more ways than one."
Jeong Taeui was speechless. Most of what he said came in a direction he didn't expect, and this time it didn't help but surprise him. It was words he had never heard before - and never thought of.
In many ways, Jeong Jaeui is more human than he is.