Jeong Taeui smiled and replied, 'Um, is that so.'
Of course, he had never thought of himself as a person full of humanity. But he had never expected to hear such words. Contrary to everyone's prejudices about geniuses, he himself knew very well that Jeong Jaeui was a person full of 'humanity'.
"Did I do something bad to you that I don't know about? Or did my brother help you a lot? If you don't understand clearly, this can easily come across as an insult."
"I didn't mean it like that. For example….. That's right. Is it because Jeong Jaeil will have to endure more worries and pain than you? That's called being human."
Jeong Taeui was speechless for the second time.
The words that this man uttered without thinking today made him go from one surprise to another.
Worry and anguish. Perhaps. But unless one could look inside his brother's head, how could one know what he was thinking? Because one's personal feelings could not be measured in absolute numbers, it was impossible to compare who was more or less worried.
"But if you look at it objectively, he is so lucky that he doesn't know what anxiety or worry is. He was the one who left on his own and said he wanted to try his luck too."
Jeong Taeui shook his head and muttered. Ilay was probably looking at him without saying a word. A soft laugh came from the other side of the screen.
"It's true that Jeong Jaeui is very lucky. I completely agree. But have you ever thought about the mystery behind that luck?"
The smile disappeared from Jeong Taeui's face.
Before, he had thought that the man was trying to imply something with his words, but he had no idea what it was. Now, perhaps he had a vague understanding of the hidden meaning behind those words.
This man knew something he had never thought of and did not need to think of.
"He is my brother, but it seems like you understand him better than I do."
He seemed to immediately sense the bitterness in Jeong Taeui's words. The man waved his hand and replied, 'Oh' in a flustered tone.
"This is awkward. I don't mean to hurt your feelings by saying this. Can we stop talking about this?"
Ilay ended the story in a soft voice. Jeong Taeui stared at that white hand and sighed. This was not a topic he wanted to delve into anyway.
"You seem much calmer now. Your red face is back to normal."
Jeong Taeui was massaging his forehead with his thumb. Hearing those words, he turned his head to look at the mirror. Just as he said, his originally red face had returned to normal at some point.
Ilay's hidden voice entered Jeong Taeui's ears again as he rubbed his face with his hand.
"But if you were stuck on that island and fell in love with that person, then that person probably wasn't a woman either."
Ilay said in a strange voice, Jeong Taeui replied in a puzzled manner.
"No way. I have never held a girl's hand for more than a handshake since high school."
"Ah ha. Going against sexual morality also includes that part, right?"
Ilay spoke as if he understood his original problem. Jeong Taeui also had no intention of hiding his sexual orientation, he just shrugged and replied.
"Yes. So are you upset?"
"Annoying? Why should I be annoyed with other people's preferences?"
Ilay laughed. Those words were like drawing a line. No matter how intimately they talked, they were still different people. Emotionally as well.
At that moment, Jeong Taeui suddenly realized.
Even though this man spoke to him so comfortably, there was no intimacy or sympathy. He didn't feel any discomfort either. He was a complete stranger, nothing more, nothing less.
Even though it was obvious, Jeong Taeui still felt a vague surprise. He had only just realized it now, but he already felt quite close to this man. They had only talked on the phone a few times, but Jeong Taeui already felt very close. Just like most people feel close to someone they have talked to a few times.
But this man was different from everyone else, and that had no effect on his feelings. Time and intimacy were not proportional to each other. Thinking back, even though he had many opportunities to realize it, Jeong Taeui still didn't realize it at all. Perhaps even if he talked to him on the phone a few hundred more times in the future, this man's feelings for him wouldn't change like the others.
Putting aside the issue of whether or not he was born cold, it seems that the way his emotions progress is different from other normal people.
So if we talk about 'humanity', he is not enough to compare or comment on anyone….
The words were already rising to his throat, but Jeong Taeui could only swallow them down. He had no intention of arguing with him because he felt it would be presumptuous to say such words to someone who had already drawn clear boundaries with others.
"It's a shame, but I quite like you anyway."
"Ah ha. I also like things that go against sexual morality."
"....No, I don't mean it that way…"
Jeong Taeui muttered and waved his hand. Ilay of course understood that, he just smiled gently.
The faint mechanical sound came from the other end of the phone again. A steady beeping sound like a timer, an alarm, or a phone of some kind.
Ilay seemed to have turned back to look somewhere, he sighed and tapped his finger lightly on the table.
"I'll call you back after a little rest. I have to go."
"Okay, then I'll see you next time if I have the chance."
"Um– — Ah. Come to think of it, the joint training of the Asia and Europe branches is coming up soon, right?"
"Yes, you know that well."
A used book dealer or an arms dealer. Either way, it would be strange for him to know such information.
But anyway, the joint training schedule wasn't a secret, and he seemed to have a close relationship with his uncle, so it was only natural that he would know.
"It's hard to have to participate in joint training right after entering a branch. Good luck. Don't die."
"Although wishing you luck with those words doesn't sound lucky at all, thank you anyway."
Jeong Taeui laughed and muttered, Ilay seemed to let out a small laugh as well. And just like that, the phone was disconnected.
***********************************************
It was a bittersweet Friday night.
On Friday night, after the official schedule ended, they conducted the lottery as scheduled. Who would stay in the Asian branch and who would go to other branches. As we all know, those who went to the Asian branch for this joint training were from the European branch, while those who left would have to go to the South American branch.
Jeong Taeui originally thought that whether he stayed or left was not a problem. But seeing his colleagues trembling in fear and showing their disdain for the European branch, he wanted to stay here just to see. However, for his own safety, it would be better for him to join the team and leave here and go to the South American branch.
Plus, every time he closed his eyes - well, he didn't have to close them, even with his eyes open, his image still appeared clearly.
The image of a neatly dressed man reaching out with a black gloved hand to grab the opponent's throat, his fingers penetrating the neck leaving a dark red mark.
If I had to come across someone like that….
Thinking for a moment, Jeong Taeui shuddered and shrugged. He had to worry about his own life first.
Jeong Taeui thought as he picked a random number from the box. Number 62. Then the other members also drew balls with numbers from 1 to 96, the instructor also walked over and drew a ball from another box. That ball had the number 2 written on it. So the even numbers would stay.
Jeong Taeui spun the number 62 ball in his hand with a bitter face, the people who went and stayed had been decided simply like that. Even numbers would stay at the branch, odd numbers would go to the airport early tomorrow morning, Saturday.
After the draw was over and the group dispersed, a bustling atmosphere enveloped the members.
Jeong Taeui clicked his tongue as he left the large hall with his colleagues, his face full of contemplation. Even though he couldn't change anything, he still wanted to go to the South American branch for the safety of his life.
Perhaps, not only Jeong Taeui but most of the people here thought so. However, they did not appear too happy just because they were about to arrive at the South American branch.
No matter which side it was, 3 days later everyone had to go through a hellish struggle that lasted 15 days.
Jeong Taeui was slowly walking behind his noisy colleagues, but he didn't want to go down like that so he changed direction and headed towards the stairs.
Even though he had entered the room and closed the door, he could still hear the noisy voices of his colleagues in the hallway below. In his current mood, Jeong Taeui just wanted to be in a quiet place.
Your room is the best choice. There's hardly anyone on your floor, and you've been so busy these past few days that you're nowhere to be seen.
Jeong Taeui didn't take off his coat, but lay on the bed, burying his face in the blanket, his whole body heavy. Lying on his stomach like this made him feel sleepy. The training sessions had been intense during regular training hours these past few days, but even during breaks, he was constantly disturbed by his colleagues, so he felt extremely tired.
"What if we just tire everyone out right before the official joint training… I'll die of exhaustion first."
Jeong Taeui sighed and talked to himself before taking a book off the shelf. He came here every day to read a few dozen pages before returning. It was actually an extremely interesting book and he could finish it quickly if he focused on it, but since his body was as tired as a wet cotton ball, it wasn't easy.
Jeong Taeui took the book back to bed and glanced at the phone.
The phone remained silent and showed no sign of ringing.
When in someone else's room, it would be better not to have to answer the phone, but the phone calls from that beautiful white-handed man were also quite interesting. Although it wasn't all fun.
Jeong Taeui flipped through the pages he had read. In the middle of the book, he saw his uncle's notes in the corner. It was his uncle's habit to write in the blank spaces next to the book whenever he thought of something while reading. And when he read those notes, he could also know what his uncle was thinking while reading this book, which was also a small joy.
Before coming here, he didn't see his uncle often. Both Jeong Taeui, his brother, and his uncle had different personalities, and even though they only saw each other once or twice a year, they didn't feel awkward or distant. Even if they saw each other for several years, it still felt like yesterday.
However, every time he came home, he only spent time with Jeong Taeui's father. After his father passed away, he often talked to Jaeui, so Jaeui didn't talk to him much.
Thinking back, he was a character that could be considered outstanding in the family. It was not easy for someone born and raised in a family to become an officer at UNHRDO.
"What I ultimately desire to achieve is no different from what the ancients desired hundreds of years ago, and perhaps even hundreds of years from now it will still be the same. Is that why humans are still humans?"
Jeong Taeui traced his uncle's handwriting at the bottom of the page with his fingertips.
The first time he opened this book, there was a faint smell of dust. Perhaps he had read this book a long time ago. So these words were also a fragment of his thoughts from a long time ago, at least younger than now.
Tracing other people's buried thoughts has its own charm.
What did he yearn for, after all? Jeong Taeui seemed to know but also seemed not to know. He didn't remember his uncle ever mentioning anything like that.
"Is it because Jeong Jaeui has more worries and sufferings than you? That's what 'humanity' is."
Suddenly, Ilay's voice flashed through his mind.
Maybe he's craving something. But how do you know what he's craving when everything he wants is easily within reach without any effort?
But the word 'humanity' is very negative anyway.
Jeong Taeui smiled bitterly.
It seemed that his consciousness gradually sank as he read the book.
His mind went blank, a series of unrelated thoughts intertwined in his mind.
And then, someone came to wake him up from that heavy dream.