Chereads / GHOSTS DON'T DATE / Chapter 3 - Chapter 3: "Poltergeist Etiquette"

Chapter 3 - Chapter 3: "Poltergeist Etiquette"

Ji-eun woke up the next morning hoping that the events of the previous night had been nothing more than a bad dream. But as she groggily stumbled into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, her hopes were dashed when she saw joon-ho sitting at the table, sipping an invisible cup of coffee and reading a very real newspaper… upside down.

She blinked twice, half-expecting him to vanish. But no—there he was, alive—well, dead—and in her kitchen.

"Oh great, you're still here," Ji-eun muttered, heading for the coffee maker. She wasn't sure what was weirder: the fact that there was a ghost reading her newspaper or the fact that she was starting to get used to it.

"Morning, roomie," joon-ho said with a smirk, flipping the upside-down page of his newspaper. "Sleep well?"

"Not really," Ji-eun grumbled, pouring herself a cup of coffee. "I had a nightmare that I was living with a dead guy."

joon-ho grinned. "Sounds like a real scream."

Ji-eun rolled her eyes. She wasn't awake enough to deal with ghost-related puns this early in the morning. She sat down at the table across from Ji-eun and took a long sip of her coffee, trying to steady her nerves.

"Alright," she said, setting her mug down with determination. "We need to talk."

joon-ho raised an eyebrow. "Oh? About what? My rent share? Because if that's what you're wondering, I'm a little… short on cash. Being dead and all."

Ji-eun shot him a look. "I'm serious. If we're going to live together, we need to establish some ground rules. Real ground rules."

"Ground rules? Sure," joon-ho said, leaning back in his chair. "Hit me. What've you got?"

Ji-eun took a deep breath. "Okay, first rule: no random appearances. You scared the life out of me last night. If you're going to show up, at least give me a warning."

Joon-ho smirked. "What do you want me to do? Wear a bell around my neck? Ooooh, how about I knock three times before I 'materialize?'" He waved his hands around dramatically. "Very spooky, don't you think?"

"I'm serious!" Ji-eun snapped. "I can't have you just popping up whenever you feel like it!"

Joon-ho shrugged. "Alright, alright. I'll try to be less phantomatic." He winked. "What else?"

Ji-eun rubbed her temples, feeling a headache coming on. "No ghostly pranks. No levitating things, no flickering lights, no creepy noises in the middle of the night."

"Where's the fun in that?" Joon-ho teased. "You're telling me I can't rattle some chains and go 'Woooo' when I'm bored?"

Ji-eun glared at him. "No."

Joon-ho pretended to be disappointed, folding his arms like a sulking child. "You're no fun."

"Also," ji-eun continued, "no going through my stuff. I mean it, Joon-oh. Stay out of my personal space."

Joon-ho raised his hands defensively. "I swear, I'm not interested in your underwear drawer."

Ji-eun blushed. "That's not what I meant!"

Joon-ho chuckled, clearly enjoying her discomfort. "Fine, fine. No snooping around. Anything else?"

Ji-eun thought for a moment. "Oh, and one more thing. No showing up when I have guests over. The last thing I need is for someone to think I've gone crazy, talking to thin air."

"Deal," joon-ho said, grinning. "But I've got to say, this whole situation is way more fun with just the two of us. It's like a weird buddy sitcom."

Ji-eun sighed and took another sip of her coffee, feeling slightly more in control now that they'd established some rules—however ridiculous they might be.

But then, just as she was about to relax, Joon-oh leaned forward with a mischievous glint in his eye. "So… about your dating life."

Ji-eun nearly choked on her coffee. "Excuse me?"

Joon-ho grinned. "I was thinking, since we're roommates now, maybe I could help you out in the romance department. You know, give you some tips, act as your ghostly wingman."

Ji-eun's face flushed bright red. "W-What are you talking about? My dating life is none of your business!"

"Oh, come on," joon-ho said, waving her off. "You're obviously single. You live alone, talk to yourself in the mirror, and have a suspicious amount of ice cream in your freezer. Plus, I heard you muttering about 'stupid exes' in your sleep last night."

Ji-eun groaned and buried her face in her hands. "This can't be happening…"

Joon-ho chuckled. "Look, all I'm saying is that I've been around for a while, and I know a thing or two about relationships. I could give you some pointers. Teach you how to flirt, how to win a guy over—"

"No," ji-eun said firmly, cutting him off. "Absolutely not. I'm not taking dating advice from a dead guy."

"Hey!" Joon-ho said, feigning offense. "Just because I'm dead doesn't mean I don't know a thing or two about romance! I had a pretty hot love life when I was alive, you know."

Ji-eun raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? And how'd that work out for you?"

Joon-ho's smirk faltered for a moment, and he cleared his throat. "Well, uh… let's just say it ended… prematurely."

Ji-eun snorted. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

Joon-ho scowled. "Alright, fine. No dating tips. But mark my words, one day you're going to need my help, and when that time comes, I'll be here—like your own personal Cupid. A very dead, sarcastic Cupid."

Ji-eun sighed, wondering how on earth she was going to survive living with this ghostly nuisance. But even as she groaned internally, she couldn't help but smile a little. Despite his arrogance and ridiculous antics, I guess she couldn't help the smile.

"Well," she said, standing up from the table, "I've got to get ready for work. Try not to haunt the place too much while I'm gone."

Joon-ho saluted her mockingly. "Aye aye, Captain. I'll hold down the fort."

As ji-eun left the kitchen and headed toward the bathroom, she couldn't help but overhear joon-ho muttering to himself, "I wonder if I could possess her boss… that could be fun…"

Ji-eun froze in her tracks. "Don't even think about it!" she shouted over her shoulder.

Joon-ho just chuckled. "I'm joking! Relax! Probably."

Ji-eun groaned again and hurried to get ready. This was going to be a long day—and an even longer life with a mischievous ghost for a roommate.