Okazumi Tsutomu was an absolute coomer; that much needed to be said.
His first name, Tsutomu, was written with the character for hard work, while his family name, Okazumi, was written with the characters for hill and horn. And if one were to read his name out loud, it sounded a lot like the word for fap material in Japanese. In retrospect, with such a horny name and a clearcut case of nominative determinism, it shouldn't have come as a surprise to anyone that he ended up developing such a passion for… Health and Physical Education class. The class in which Sex Ed was taught.
However, in the greater scheme of things and as far as this tale is concerned, his name wouldn't end up mattering much, seeing as Tsutomu's story begins with his death. Yes, Tsutomu died just as he had lived… from excessive gooning.
As stated previously, Okazumi Tsutomu was an absolute coomer.
And so it came to be that poor Tsutomu's soul was cast down into the abyss, where it was compelled to appear before the Great King Enma, the ruler of hell and great judge of the underworld. (That's right, Buddhism was the one true religion after all)
Of course, young Tsutomu was frightened beyond belief. There he had been, edging to his favourite anime character, when suddenly, he had been dragged down to hell with one hand down his pants and forced to take the stand before a strange-looking man wearing a black crown marked with the character for king. Oh, and he also had the Rinnegan in both of his eye sockets.
Wait, what? This wasn't Soul Society!?
"Okazumi Tsutomu!" Lord Enma spoke with a booming voice. "You have accumulated much virtue and positive karma during your life, so you are entitled to…" His voice trailed off, and he rechecked his notes. "Gozu!" he shouted. "This cannot be right, bring me the boy's files!"
"Here, Great King," eagerly said a blue demon with a single horn on the top of his head.
A vein popped on Lord Enma's forehead as he quickly skimmed through the document that the blue demon had just handed him. According to hell's files, Tsutomu had spent over five hundred thousand yen of his own money simping on his favourite idol, asking for nothing in return but her love, which had earned him an enormous amount of good karma. As a mild-mannered sixteen-year-old boy, he hadn't really accumulated any bad karma or terrible misdeeds, so he was firmly in the clear!
If you looked under Tsutomu's degeneracy, you would find a cherry boy. But if you looked further inwards, you'd still find an absolute degenerate. Of his living, he hadn't a bad person by any means, and he'd had many friends. It was just that he loved the fairer sex a bit too much.
Indeed, Okazumi Tsutomu was an absolute coomer.
"I see," Lord Enma said, coughing to cover up his embarrassment. "Well, boy, your soul hasn't lived long enough to enter the Pure Land just yet, but you've earned enough positive karma to be reborn as a human again. A bit more, and you'd have gained the right to be reborn as an Asura or as a Deva."
"What's with the Rinnegan?" Tsutomu blurted out.
He'd been dying to know why the hell (no pun intended) the fictional eyes of the Heavenly Samsara of Rinne Rebirth had appeared in his judge's eye sockets.
"Ah, a fan of Naruto, are you?" Lord Enma chuckled. "Are you aware of the multiverse theory, boy?"
Tsutomu nodded timidly.
"In the myriad possibilities of parallel universes, there exist many worlds identical to the one depicted in Kishimoto-sensei's manga," Lord Enma explained. "He also happened to get the world of the dead exactly right, what with the Six Paths of Reincarnation, and the Pure Land."
Lord Enma spun his gavel around his thumb like a pencil, looking thoughtful.
"I've made my decision," he said after thinking for a while. "Honestly, I feel bad for you, and the amount of good karma you have attained in this lifetime entitles you to some benefits in your next life."
Tsutomu's ears perked up. Benefits, you say?
"I will have you reincarnate in the ninja world," Lord Enma continued. "It just so happens that there are a few worlds in which some of the main cast have died before their time. This would inevitably lead to that world's ruin, so I'll have you take their place. And if that doesn't mesh well with your choice of cheat, I'll send you to a world where one of the Konoha Eleven was never born, and I'll have you take the missing one's place as an orphan found of the battlefield. Doesn't that sound like fun?"
It most certainly did not sound fun at all! Tsutomu had binged all of Naruto in middle school, so even though he didn't remember every single detail of the anime, he knew that the Earth in that universe was an extremely dangerous place. Even the country with the best living conditions, the Land of Fire, was a terrible place. The poor there lived like it was still the Middle Ages, the nobles and feudal lords lived in constant fear of assassination, and shinobis' lives were as cheap as dirt.
"I've never been in a fight in my entire life!" Tsutomu protested vigorously. "I'd be dead within a month! Can't you just send me back home!?"
"All decisions are final," said Lord Enma firmly. "However, since you have died in such a pathetic way (Gozu snickered) and since you have accumulated good karma, I shall allow you to keep your memories. Furthermore, I shall grant you a System, and the privilege of redeeming your Karma Points for cheats."
Tsutomu's breath quickened in excitement. Being Isekaied was what every boy dreamed of! With this, his every dream could come true! He could have a harem of beautiful women, be handsome, have a harem of busty women, be overpowered, have a harem of thicc women, live a slow life with his harem of lusty women!
Lord Enma pulled out a pocket calculator and began tapping away.
"Let's see, with an exchange rate for donations of 100 yen against 1.15 karma points… Add one Karma Point for petting a cat… One more for holding the ladder for your father while he was changing a lightbulb… Oh, you were the one to suggest swapping to energy saving ones, too… let's add two more for that…"
While Lord Enma went over his list of good deeds and misdeeds, Tsutomu began examining the list of cheats available for those who reincarnated in the ninja world.
--------------------------------------
Reincarnate as a member of the following Konoha clans (pick only one):
Senju: 5000 KP
Uchiha: 5001 KP
Hyuga: 4999 KP
Uzumaki: 4999.5 KP
Kurama: 2009 KP
Fūma: 1500 KP
Yamanaka: 500 KP
Akimichi: 500 KP
Nara: 500 KP
Inuzuka: 450 KP
Sarutobi: 5 KP
Shimura: 1/3 KP
Aburame: free! (for a limited time only!)
--------------------------------------
Chakra Nature Transformation affinities (You might be eligible for a refund if you already have this nature affinity upon being reborn!):
Yin: 450 KP
Yang: 450 KP
Fire: 50 KP
Wind: 300 KP
Lightning: 250 KP
Earth: 200 KP
Water: 285 KP
If the host wishes to redeem an elemental Kekkei Genkai, simply add the corresponding costs of the basic natures it is comprised of and multiply the resulting value by a factor of two.
--------------------------------------
Miscellaneous:
Haruno Sakura's Chakra control talent: 200 KP
Uchiha Sasuke's rizz for attracting crazy women: 600 KP (adjusted for inflation)
Uzumaki Naruto's silver tongue (Talk-no-Jutsu): 1000 KP
Might Guy's bone durability: 150 KP
Namikaze Minato's reflexes: 500 KP
Character Template Cheat: 5000 KP