Just as I'm getting lost into this train of thoughts, a fellow student walks by.
Her hair, simple yet elegant catches my eye. It's a reminder of the distractions that comes with new environments. Yeah, forget about impressing anyone for now. The only thing I'm focused on pulling myself out of my bed each morning. The reality of school is already proving itself to be a far opposite from the daydreams I was indulging in.
I gave myself a resigned sigh, the kind that's heavy with self-pity. I shifted my gaze upwards, and chided myself to set aside the wave of negative thoughts that had been clouding my mind. Time to tackle this situation with professionalism.
I adjusted my pace to follow the student ahead of me, maintaining a respectful distance that felt like the right balance between being close enough to follow and far enough for privacy. The school uniform is very impressive, still. With this, maybe I could have made of an impression back then. But those were idle thoughts, a drag from the reality at hand.
Suddenly, a voice called me out from behind. I immediately turned slightly to see the possible danger. "Are you new here? It's refreshing to see new people around, isn't it?"
Why on earth was someone asking me that? It's not like I've been blending into the background for minutes already. But, it's a standard friendly gesture.
I forced a small smile that felt never more embarrassing than ever, as the words escapes my lips with the effort of someone dragging themselves through mud. "Yeah. I suppose it's refreshing."
Ugh. Those words came out with hesitation, as if I was struggling to fit with the moment. The urge to skip my legs away as fast as I can was extremely hard to resist. Yet, as much as I wanted to run, the thought of running away from a friendly conversation felt mean-spirited. It was just a simple way to connect through talking, after all.
Running away right now would be rude, and I wasn't about to add "impolite" to the list of things I'd already had to deal with today.
The man decided to respond back with a warm smile, his marble eyes glistening like early morning dew under the soft light of the dawn. Wait. There is something unexpectedly charming about this. Why am I finding him so captivating? It was as if he stepped out of some idealized version of reality. Compared to the usual assortment of people I observed, he stood out. Better than most of the "fishes in the sea", as the saying goes.
I couldn't help but ponder deeper into this. This place, this school, was slowly shaping itself to be quite the paradise with more steps I take towards it. It seemed that, for once, the idea of a new experience isn't so far from reach anymore.
As for someone like me, the idea of making random, superficial relationships is about as appealing as a sunny hot day. I prefer to stay in the role of the lone wolf, reaping the rewards of my hunts. But, the competition for loneliness is fierce in the deep forest. There are more loners than I can count the food crumbs in my room, which admittedly, I don't clean very often. Only when it's absolutely necessary, or when there's a pressing need.
And yet, here I am confronted by this random guy with the most endearing smile I've seen in a long while. His unexpected charm has made me reconsider my position as a loner.
Maybe, just maybe, it's worth stepping out of this forest to become a more functional human being capable of forming genuine connections. If I can't manage to attract a girl, then perhaps this guy with his unexplainable magnetic smile will be my next target.
Who knows? Fishing is unexpected, after all.
I managed to regain back my composure, giving a small wave and a fleeting grin before walking away. I knew I probably looked odd, like I was trying to little too hard to be nonchalant about the whole interaction.
My steps felt firmer this time. I didn't have to stress about future social interactions anymore; Since I have a backup plan now. The guy with the charming smile proved to be a effective reassuring fallback.