I followed a small group of students down the route to school. I had no clue where I was headed, despite having been there just the day before to apply.
It was so bizarre to feel disoriented quickly. As I walked however, I noticed that every direction seemed to be making the crosswalk wider with students wearing the same uniform as mine. It was a bit disheartening, really.
The thought of blending into the sea of identical outfits made the idea of standing out practically dumb. The uniform that was supposedly my last ray of hope, now felt like it was diminished with darkness. The chance of catching anyone's eyes seemed to further reduced every moment.
I blame my past self for imagining something quite impossible. Of course, the entire student population wears the same uniform as me! I attend the same school as them, obviously. When was I this dumb? The last time was two years ago. I can't believe I'm still this stupid. At least for now, I'd have to navigate this new environment with the same blend of cautious optimism and skepticism that I still hold tall.
Oh, I almost forgot. I suppose I should have introduced myself earlier. My name is Kita Muramatsu. I've enrolled at Chuo High School. It's not exactly a prestigious institution, so I've taken a rather relaxed approach to it.
Despite the fact that this phase of my life is crucial for my future, it's hard to care. People often comment on my attitude, too. Noting how I seem to brush off the importance of education and career.
Maybe they're right.
After all, the reality is that no matter how high you graduate, everyone eventually ends up on the same level in the job market. It's a dream-crushing thought to think about, but it's one I came to accept with a sense of humor. Sucks to be me.
I shifted my gaze downwards as I approached the school gate, my thoughts wandering as they often do. I've always been the type to turn mundane everyday moments into something a bit of spectacle.
There's a thrill in marking the subtle changes in the school's exterior which each passing day, with the inch-by-inch reveal of it's structure could somehow transform the ordinary into something much more remarkable.
When I finally came to a stop, I noticed my shoes were now on a different type of surface.
I glanced up, and there placed were the infamous school lockers, lined up in their fashion. You would see this in every school. But that doesn't matter. I stood there as students streamed past by, oblivious to my presence.
It was a moment that felt cinematic. I could picture it in my head clearly. My army marching towards victory, with me laughing like a king in the background.
But, reality slapped me across the face, quite literally. My hand moved on it's accord, as if some autopilot mechanism had been engaged, guiding me through this strange moment of self-delusion.
How do I turn this off? It's a question that I can't seem to answer. How would I be able to enjoy moments like just now, then? It's awful.
I made my way to my assigned locker, scanning each one along the row to ensure I had the right locker.
When I finally reached it, I fumbled with the combination and swung the door open, the interior was bland as expected. I closed it almost immediately, not really taking in any details or making use of the space.
The whole process felt pointless, a prime example of mundane interactions that make up your whole daily life. I couldn't help but think, with a hint of irony, that this was probably the most trivial task I'd ever undertaken.
I glanced left and right before making my way up the stairs, the sight of students filling in classrooms was a bit reassuring. I couldn't help but wonder why I felt the need to check both ways before crossing. There was an odd sense of cautiousness, almost as if I was in traffic.