As I reclined at the lavish dining table, surrounded by the opulent decor of the castle, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of amusement. Here I was, the notorious Phantom Spider, dining with the newly crowned King Bob and his loyal minion companions, Kevin and Stuart.
The servants scurried about, filling our plates with an array of delectable dishes. The minions eyed the food with unbridled enthusiasm, their little hands reaching out to grab fistfuls of whatever caught their fancy.
"Ooh, banana!" Bob exclaimed in his high-pitched Minionese, shoving an entire banana into his mouth, the peel and all.
I chuckled, shaking my head. "Slow down there, your majesty. You'll make yourself sick."
Bob paused, his cheeks bulging, and let out a muffled "Papoy!" before swallowing the banana whole. The other minions erupted into a chorus of laughter and gibberish, seemingly delighted by their companion's antics.
As I took a sip of the rich, red wine, I couldn't help but ponder the idea of ordering Bob to make me the true king of England. After all, I was the one who had orchestrated this entire charade, using the minions' unique abilities to outmaneuver Scarlet Overkill and claim the Crown Jewels.
But as the thought crossed my mind, I quickly dismissed it. What would be the point? This world, as entertaining as it was, was not my true home. Sooner or later, Hestia and I would need to return to Orario, and all of this would be nothing more than a fond memory.
No, I decided, it was best to simply enjoy the moment and bask in the minions' infectious joy. They were, after all, the true stars of this show.
I reached out, plucking a succulent grape from a nearby bowl and popping it into my mouth. The burst of flavor was a welcome respite from the constant scheming and plotting that had consumed my life as of late.
"Boss, boss!" Kevin exclaimed, tugging on the sleeve of my Phantom Spider suit. "Look, look!"
I turned my attention to the minion, who was proudly displaying a fork he had fashioned into some sort of makeshift weapon.
"Very nice, Kevin," I said, a hint of amusement in my voice. "Though I don't think you'll be needing that for dinner."
Kevin's face fell, and he let out a disappointed "Ah, bah."
I patted him on the head, earning a delighted squeak, and turned my gaze to the rest of the minions. Stuart was busy stacking plates and bowls, while Bob had somehow managed to acquire a napkin and was using it to dab at the corners of his mouth, ever the gentleman. As I watched their antics, I couldn't help but feel a sense of fondness.
Well, since I was the one who snatched up the Crown Jewels first, all I gotta do is sit tight and wait for Scarlet to show up. When she does, I'll just have her admit that I'm the winner. And man, watching her bow down to me? That's gonna be one heck of an amusing sight. I can practically see it now - Scarlet, all decked out in her fancy getup, forced to acknowledge that I, the notorious Phantom Spider, pulled off the heist of the century. Talk about a delightful twist of fate! This is gonna be good.
As the lavish dinner drew to a close, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of exhaustion. The day's events had been a whirlwind, from outsmarting Scarlet Overkill to securing Bob's reign as the new King of England. Now, all I wanted was a chance to unwind and get some much-needed rest.
I turned to the minions, who were still happily chattering away, their energy seemingly endless. "Alright, you three," I said, trying to muster an authoritative tone. "I think it's time we call it a night."
The minions paused, their eyes widening. "Aww, but boss!" Kevin whined, his high-pitched voice echoing through the grand dining hall.
"No buts," I replied firmly. "You guys have had a big day, and I'm sure the king here could use some beauty sleep." I gestured towards Bob, who was already nodding off, a spoon still clutched in his hand.
The minions reluctantly agreed, and I led them through the winding corridors of the castle, searching for the bedrooms. Finally, we came across a door adorned with a small, crudely drawn sign that read "Minions' Room" in what looked like crayon.
"This must be it," I murmured, pushing the door open. The room was spacious, with three cozy-looking beds arranged in a row. I could already imagine the minions' antics as they settled in for the night.
As I ushered the minions inside, Bob tugged on the sleeve of my suit, his eyes wide and pleading. "Oooh, story?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
I couldn't help but chuckle at the little guy's request. "Alright, alright," I relented, guiding him towards one of the beds. "But just one, okay? Then it's lights out."
The minions eagerly climbed onto the bed, snuggling up against each other as I racked my brain for a suitable bedtime story. Finally, an idea struck me.
"Okay, how about the story of Red Riding Hood?" I began, settling down on the edge of the bed.
The minions' eyes lit up, and they let out a chorus of excited squeaks and giggles.
"Once upon a time, there was a young girl named Red Riding Hood," I began, my voice taking on a soothing, storytelling cadence. "She lived in a small village with her mother, and one day, her mother asked her to take some treats to her sick grandmother who lived deep in the woods."
I paused, glancing down at the minions, who were already captivated, their gaze fixed on me.
"Red Riding Hood set off into the woods, basket in hand, humming a little tune. But unbeknownst to her, a crafty wolf had been watching her from the shadows."
The minions let out a collective gasp, their eyes widening in anticipation.
"The wolf, wanting to get to the grandmother's house first, raced ahead and knocked on the door, pretending to be Red Riding Hood. When the grandmother opened the door, the wolf gobbled her up in one big bite!"
Bob let out a small squeak of alarm, and I quickly continued, "But don't worry, the story doesn't end there. When Red Riding Hood arrived at the cottage, she knew something was amiss. 'Grandmother, what big eyes you have,' she said."
I paused, lowering my voice to a dramatic whisper. "'All the better to see you with, my dear,' the wolf replied in a gruff voice."
The minions leaned in, their attention unwavering as I wove the tale. I couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction, watching their enraptured expressions. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all.
As I reached the climax of the story, the minions hung on my every word, their faces alight with wonder. By the time I finished, their eyes were heavy with sleep, and I couldn't help but smile.
"Alright, you three," I whispered, gently tucking them in. "Time to get some rest."
The minions murmured sleepily, and within moments, their soft snores filled the room. I gave them one last glance before quietly slipping out the door, eager to find my own bed and get some much-needed sleep.
…
I awoke to the gentle chirping of birds outside my window, the warm sunlight filtering through the curtains. For a moment, I simply lay there, savoring the peaceful start to the day.
A soft knock at the door roused me from my tranquil reverie. "Come in," I called out, sitting up in the plush, ornate bed.
My private butler, a distinguished-looking gentleman named Reginald, entered the room carrying a silver tray. "Good morning, sir," he greeted me in a measured tone. "I've prepared your usual morning coffee, just the way you like it."
Reginald placed the tray on the nightstand, and I gratefully reached for the steaming mug, inhaling the rich aroma. "Thank you, Reginald," I said, taking a sip of the perfectly brewed coffee. "It's going to be a good day, I can feel it."
The butler nodded, a slight smile playing on his lips. "Indeed, sir. Shall I inform the kitchen staff to prepare your breakfast?"
I considered for a moment, savoring the smooth, bold flavor of the coffee. "Yes, that would be wonderful. I think I'll have the full English breakfast this morning."
"Very good, sir." Reginald bowed slightly and turned to leave.
I sipped my coffee, savoring the rich, bold flavor. "Ah~ What a wonderful day—"
Suddenly, a loud explosion rocked the castle, causing the windows to rattle. Startled, I nearly spilled my coffee. Voices echoed down the hallway, and I immediately recognized the commanding tone of Scarlet Overkill.
"Phantom Spider! Come out and face me, you coward!" she bellowed.
I sighed, placing the coffee mug back on the tray. "Well, it was fun while it lasted."
///
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