Life is funny sometimes. It makes you realize that what you need the most has been right there all along, in a funny and almost unsettling way, as if constantly reminding you that, deep down, you don't know anything. That's what I was thinking at that moment.
Wait a minute... 'I'? Yes! Hi, you might have been introduced to me earlier in this story. My name is Wave, and I decided that the next two parts should be narrated by none other than myself. Despite our narrator being amazing, I'm the only one who can describe what I felt when I realized that Dan was the only one who could truly play Adrien and what that led to afterward. It wasn't easy, especially when I discovered that, sometimes, I can be a... complete idiot.
But... let's start from the beginning, shall we?
After hearing and seeing Adrien's lines come from Dan's attractive lips, my body froze completely. I couldn't move. I think it was the first time in my life that a character truly came to life in front of me. It was as if that serious, enigmatic, tattooed guy had vanished from the Earth, and in his place was someone else—similar in appearance, but with a completely different story.
So, I stood there, fixated on that expression filled with emotion, unable to react, but with every sensation in the world packed into a single moment.
"You..." I said, almost involuntarily, with trembling lips as I brought my right hand closer to his face. "You're real..."
I touched Dan's skin delicately with the back of my fingers, which must have been freezing cold, and our gazes locked in an inexplicable way. His expression shifted to a mix of confusion and amazement, with his brows furrowed and lips slightly parted. Despite his clear confusion, he simply closed his eyes. His breathing was intense, but not as much as mine, which was choking me with its own rhythm.
"Why did you make me read this?" He kept his eyes closed, and his voice was soft but firm enough to pull me out of my slight daze.
"I..." I began, pulling my hand away quickly and feeling my face flush with an unusual shyness. "I needed to check something."
After pulling away, he slowly opened his eyes and looked at me with an expression that seemed to be searching for answers. His relaxed posture contrasted with the previous rigidity. The tension in his shoulders eased, and a subtle tremor passed through his gaze, revealing an uncertain sparkle hiding behind his usual mask of indifference. Then he asked:
"Check what?"
"Dan..." I shook my head, looking at my junior and trying to connect the feelings from the previous scene with all my theater knowledge. "You... you are Adrien!"
"I'm what?" He tilted his head slightly, furrowing his brows and squinting as if trying to process what he had just heard. His expression tightened, and a slight frown indicated his internal struggle to understand the situation.
"You're Adrien!" I said, excitedly, finally managing to think clearly as an assistant director. I rolled the script into a funnel shape in my hands and held it up to the guy in front of me. "You were born for this role! You're my Colin Firth!"
"Colin..." he started, his lips forming a silent 'what?' Then his expression changed completely as if he finally grasped something. "Was that a trick?! Was that some kind of audition test?"
"Well, not officially. It was just an... experiment! Something I needed to verify."
He didn't say anything. He simply grabbed the script, shoved it back at me with a firm push against my chest, and turned his back. The abrupt movement and the way his lips pressed together and his jaw tensed made his displeasure clear. His rigid posture and hurried steps conveyed his frustration without the need for words. I couldn't let him get away, so I chased after him:
"Dan! Dan! Serious boy! Come back here!"
I tried to run after him, but the clutter of props, boxes, and equipment in the theater's backstage area made me less agile than he was. After all, I knew that if I wasn't careful, I'd probably knock over the entire auditorium with my lack of coordination. Just when I still hoped to catch him, someone stepped in front of me:
"Wave!" It was Yaya, her glasses crooked and her expression like she'd just escaped from a monster. "You need to help me!"
"I..." I tried to peer over my friend's shoulders. However, the shadow of the tattooed guy had already vanished backstage. I sighed, admitting defeat. "What's up, Yaya?"
"It's Sandee. That girl is crazy!"
"Nothing new there."
"I'm not kidding. She's more insane than ever now that she's not going to be the lead in the play. She's out there threatening to leave the company if she doesn't get to play Adrien, even though she's a girl."
"Then let her go!" I was not in the mood to get involved in Sandee's drama at that moment.
"Are you out of your mind? Did you forget her dad is the biggest sponsor of the company? If she decides to leave, we..."
"Are screwed," I finished, closing my eyes in utter boredom and frustration over this situation. "I'll handle it."
And that's exactly what I did. I had to go to the parking lot to find Sandee yelling at other company members while Marco tried, unsuccessfully, to calm her down. She was amazing—witty, outgoing, extremely beautiful, and a great actress. However, her dramatic spirit made her an extremely difficult person to deal with on a daily basis.
But nothing was too difficult for me to fix. I managed to convince her there was another role as important and iconic as the leads in the play. And I wasn't lying; there really was a female character who was just as charismatic and strong as Arthur and Adrien, if not more. She calmed down, and the chaos in the parking lot dissipated faster than I expected.
However, I had solved everything too late. When I looked at the spot where Dan had parked his bike earlier, he was already gone. The bike wasn't there anymore, and I figured he had left quickly, probably frustrated and angry with me. At that moment, I felt like an idiot; I should have explained things more clearly to him so it didn't seem like I'd set him up.
"Are you worried about something?" My thoughts were interrupted by Marco, who appeared next to me with his pronounced Italian accent. Normally, I loved hearing him speak; I found it amusing, but not at that moment.
"It's nothing."
"Wave... we need to make a choice." He was leaning against the railing with a cigarette between his lips, puffing out smoke every so often. "We need to choose our Adrien. Maybe Sandee isn't wrong; she's a great actress, and I don't see a problem with seeing her play a man."
"No!" I nearly shouted, and he looked startled, staring at me in surprise.
"Does seeing a girl play a guy bother you that much?"
"No... it's not that! It's just... she's not Adrien!" Only Dan was, but I couldn't just say that to Marco without first convincing Dan himself.
"Wave, I told you, maybe no one here is Adrien, and we have to accept that."
"No!" I almost interrupted him. "Marco, do you trust me?"
"If I trust you... why are you asking me that?"
"Just answer me!"
"Yes." He responded cautiously. "If I didn't trust you, you wouldn't be my right-hand man now."
"Then I have something to ask of you, okay?" I said, and he simply nodded. "Give me a few days, and I'll bring you Adrien."
"You what?" he said, incredulous, laughing after a few seconds. "I'm not going to be the one to crush a young person's dream. Alright, then! I'll do some other auditions and give you a week to sort out the Adrien issue."
"A week is enough."
It seemed enough since I only needed to convince Dan to play Adrien, right? How hard could it be? Well, if I could give myself advice at that moment, it would be: don't be too confident about something that depends on other people's will, or you might get frustrated, and that frustration could end up hurting important people.
After Marco walked away and most of the company members headed home, I stayed there, leaning against the outside wall of the auditorium, feeling the wind on my face and thinking of various ways to convince my junior to do what was right. After that, my mind began to wander even more, imagining that the play was already being performed and everything had been a success, mainly because of the casting choice.
I needed to speed things up. So, I grabbed my phone and sent a message to the guy:
[Wave Nawat]
Dan, did you really leave? How am I going to manage without you? Did you forget about the accident with my bike?
After a few moments, I decided to try one more time:
[Wave Nawat]
Serious Boy! Are you really going to do this to me?
With no response at all, I started to wonder if I had really upset him and if he felt genuinely deceived. But that wasn't the case—I wasn't trying to trick him! On the contrary! I was showing him a truth he might not have noticed before: he was born for the stage. I was doing something good, wasn't I?
As I got lost in these thoughts and guilt ate away at my heart more than it should have, my phone buzzed with a notification, and my eyes lit up with hope when I saw his name.
[Dan Zanon]
Call a taxi.
"What? That...?" Frustration began to rise. "Earlier, he didn't want me to take a taxi; now he's acting like this. Did he really get that upset?"
[Wave Nawat]
Are you upset? I didn't mean to make you feel this way.
The guilt kept stabbing at my fragile heart, and it was hurting in a very strange way. The thought of Dan being upset with me, even if just a little, made me feel oddly uncomfortable, like something was out of place. So I pressed on:
[Wave Nawat]
Can we talk?
I sent the message and felt my breath grow heavy with the anxiety of waiting for a response that might never come. What if he was so upset that he wouldn't come back to the theater? What would I say to Marco? What would I say to myself? There was no denying it: the idea of him not being involved anymore brought a strange pain to my chest.
My phone buzzed again, and almost instantly, a smile spread across my lips:
[Dan Zanon]
Stay where you are.
"Stay where you are?" What does that mean?
I didn't have to think for long because just a minute later, a bike came speeding up and came to a halt beside me with a loud squeal, making me jump slightly at the scare of thinking I might get run over. Moments later, my eyes met Dan's striking and imposing face, and then my attention was involuntarily drawn to the Eye of Horus tattoo on his neck as he turned. It was amazing how that spot always seemed to capture my gaze effortlessly, like a magnet and I, a metal object drawn every time.
"You came back!" I said, excited as my initial thoughts were interrupted. "So, are you going to give me a ride?"
As expected, Dan didn't say anything and just nodded for me to hop on the back of the bike. Without hesitation, I complied. Then he started pedaling toward my house, which he already knew, while I held tightly to his torso, trying to keep my balance.
Involuntarily, my face drifted a little closer to his neck. My gaze was fixated on the dark lines of the tattoo, and my sense of smell was filled with the fresh, woody scent that only he emitted. It felt almost hypnotic. Without realizing how close my mouth was to his ear, I started my apology:
"Dan, are you really upset?" I said softly so as not to startle him, though it apparently had no effect because, the moment the words left my mouth, he braked sharply, causing my body to slam against his and my lips to lightly touch his ear. "What..."
I held on even tighter, trying to keep the bike balanced between us. Because of this, my fingers lightly grazed the space between the buttons and the fabric of his shirt, briefly touching his warm skin. It sent a strange shiver through my body. He was oddly warm, but I couldn't pull away.
"What are you doing?" he asked in a hoarse, somewhat choked voice, looking at me with a mix of confusion and disbelief. His chest was rising and falling with an uneven breath. "How can you talk like that, so close..."
"I'm sorry!" I said, pulling away my body and hands. "I didn't realize it would surprise you like that. I'm sorry, okay? But… Dan… I need to know, are you really upset?"
He stared at me for a few seconds with those sharp, intense eyes, and then just shook his head.
"Great! Great! Even so, I need to apologize," I said with a smile as I watched his expression soften.
"Okay. Just… I don't want to and won't act in any part of the play. I hope you know that."
That went completely against my plans, for sure. But deep down, I already knew it wouldn't be easy. Clearly, no one was going to convince me it was impossible, so I was going to try anyway.
"Alright," I said reluctantly, and an idea popped into my head. "But I want to do something to make it up to you, okay? There's a place I'd like to take you tomorrow night. You'll like it!" I said excitedly, but he didn't respond. "Please, please, please, Dan! Trust me, you'll like it!"
He didn't say anything again; he just sighed and nodded, which almost made me hug him in joy, but I restrained myself. Shortly after, we adjusted ourselves on the bike, and he dropped me off at home with no further words exchanged, but that wasn't necessary.
I had the perfect plan in mind. The following night was the performance of a highly acclaimed play in Bangkok, where the actor playing the lead was a close friend of mine from childhood. I intended to take Dan to see the play, and after that, he would meet my friend, who would share his experience with acting: from initial rejection of theater to discovering his passion and becoming one of the leading actors in the country.
This kind of plot twist usually works in movies, TV shows, or books and serves as a turning point for the protagonist, who, at that moment, was Dan himself. What could go wrong? He would clearly be inspired by the story, and by the next day, we'd have him as our Adrien.
And so we went on. That night, I sent him a message with the time and address of where he should meet me. When the time came, I was at the theater entrance, just like on that day at the cinema, waiting for him to turn the corner and eager to see if he would show up. And, like the first time, he did, looking more handsome than ever, catching the attention of at least three girls on the street during a short walk.
And my heart? Well, it was racing just like before. I'd never quite understood why this junior of mine always affected me like that; I always thought it was just excitement and anxiety about how someone so different from him would react to things. I was usually an enthusiastic and energetic guy; nothing more normal than having your heart race in the face of a new challenge, right? Right.
"You look like a model," I said, greeting him with a smile. He looked at me strangely, but I could see his face slowly turning red. Had he gotten shy from that simple compliment? What a funny guy!
We went in to see the play without any issues. I started chatting animatedly about the story and mentioned that I knew the lead actor and, if it wasn't a problem, I'd like to greet him at the end of the performance. I had already sent some messages to my friend, explaining the situation and asking him to share his story with Dan when we went backstage. Everything was going as planned, and the outcome seemed promising.
The play itself was very good, lively, and engaging. It kept Dan's eyes focused on the actors throughout the performance. Every emotion he felt seemed to show on his face, as if the words were secondary to him. How had I not noticed before that he had the makings of an incredible actor?
When the play ended and everyone stood up to applaud, I reminded him:
"We're heading straight to the backstage, okay?"
He just nodded, and as everyone got up to leave, we headed to the quieter part of the theater. I already knew some of the security staff, after all, it wasn't my first time there, so getting to the dressing room was easy. And there he was, the lead actor, still dressed in his monk costume:
"Wave!" He came towards me excitedly and pulled me into a hug so tight that my feet nearly left the ground. "It's been so long since you've come to watch us! I missed you!"
Dan, next to me, furrowed his brow, his eyes showing an irritation he hadn't had before.
"I missed you too! Here…" I guided him towards the sulking guy next to me and introduced them. "Dan, this is Arm. We've been friends since childhood; the difference now is that he's a national talent and I'm just a student."
"Don't say that! You're the one who chose engineering. With your talent, you could be winning awards or at least be rich, starring in some major network BL. You've got the looks, you know?" He joked, then turned his attention to the other guy. "Hello, Dan! Nice to meet you! Wave has told me a lot about you!"
That's when things started to go a bit off course, though I didn't realize it at the time. Dan just greeted him from a distance, without responding, and I explained:
"He's not much of a talker. He's shy!" I said with a smile, noticing Dan's brow furrow even deeper.
"Oh, I know exactly how that is! I used to be the same way, you know? Shy and not really understanding or believing in the potential I had inside me." As he said this, he lightly poked Dan's chest. "It's probably the same for you, isn't it?"
"Uh... he doesn't want to be an actor, Arm." I said awkwardly, trying to signal him not to be so direct, but it was no use.
"Not wanting to be an actor doesn't mean much when someone has potential, like you do, from what I know! There are things in life we don't choose; they choose you. You know, at first, I also…" He kept talking about his story, but at that moment, Dan turned to me, looking confused.
"What's going on?" he whispered as Arm continued his story. "What did you tell him?"
"I… nothing." I swallowed hard, feeling uncomfortable, so I decided to be honest. "Look, I might have asked him to give you some inspiration to convince you to be… you know… to be Adrien."
"I told you I don't want to play anyone!" he snapped, his voice firm and irritated.
"How do you know you don't want to try, if you've never tried?" I raised my voice too, and finally, Arm stopped talking, looking at us with confusion.
"Is everything okay with you two?" He tried to diffuse the situation but was ignored.
"I don't want to try! That should be enough, shouldn't it?"
"But why don't you want to try? I'm not asking you to do something bad, you know? Sometimes we don't know what we want because we've never tried…" I attempted to continue, but was interrupted.
"I know what I want and don't want for my life! It's not you or anyone else who can tell me what I should or shouldn't try or do." His gaze cut through the room with a coldness that made me step back, as if each word was a knife. Hurt, I reacted without thinking, trying to hurt him back, even if unintentionally.
"Are you sure about that? Because you ended up in the theater because your family sent you! So, you're not as independent in your life or choices as you try to seem!"
"You…" He stepped closer, raising his finger toward me, pointing it near my nose. "You don't know anything!"
After saying this, he turned his back and left the dressing room with hurried steps, leaving me in his complete wake. It took me a few seconds to realize how stupid I had been with those words and the whole situation. I ran after him down the hallway, bumping into a few people along the way.
"Dan!" I shouted when I saw him just a few steps ahead. He turned around, his eyes blazing and his expression harder than I had ever seen.
"Don't follow me!" he ordered before turning again and disappearing from my sight.
I stood there, frozen, unable to understand how a plan that seemed so right could turn into a disaster so quickly. Dan's eyes held a pain I had never seen before, as if I had disrespected him or crossed some invisible line.
And I had indeed disrespected him; after all, I had claimed to understand and accept his stance, but behind his back, I was plotting to change his mind. In that moment, I finally understood that real life is completely different from any movie, TV show, or book, and that I could never truly be the "director" of a scene or act that didn't only depend on me.
I had tried to direct someone else's life, will, and desires as if they were the script of a play or a music video. And so, I, who always saw myself as the good-natured protagonist, discovered that I could often be the villain, even if unintentionally.