THAT NIGHT IN THE RAIN.
⚠️ Very sensitive topics ⚠️
⚠️attempted self harm⚠️
(*if this topic affect you I recommend skipping the marked part of the chapter. Please take care of yourselves 💕*)
2½ years ago.
Sung-hoon felt his body shake as he looked outside the window. He held the window seal so tightly his hands turned white.
He wanted to turn back so badly. He wanted to shout, but instead, it was like his mouth had been sealed shut, yet his body was like a volcano waiting to erupt.
"How did you find me?" He said with a shaky breath.
All the courage had left his body and was left like a shell staring at the hospital window he saw his eyes turn into a soulless expression as his body slowly drained from its energy.
It was like she was a vulture feeding on his remains, and he couldn't help it. Just like previously, he never could. He was so weak in front of her, and she knew it. She knew he would never turn her away from him. That's why she kept coming.
"You cut your hair. I liked it long." she said, her voice emotionless as she took a huff of her cigarette and looked around the hospital room. Her figures touched a small porcelain bowl on the table.
"It looks like you found someone rich to pay for your bill. Did you sell your body? I knew it was only a matter of time." it felt like a knife had been stabbed into his body and twisted in the most excruciating way at her words.
"Mom!"
"Was it Tiger? He might talk big, but his dick is small." she said, taking another huff as she let out a silent laugh.
"Are you high?" He asked, noticing her disoriented state.
She smirked at him, confirming his suspicion.
He didn't know why he asked when he already knew.
"He..."
"I heard..." she stated, cutting him off as she sat down and took out another cigarette.
He could only look at the person he considered his mother to be so unmoving it hurt more than the wounds that had been inflicted on his body.
"Don't be a bitch about it! What did it hurt...he didn't even do anything..." Sung-hoon almost collapsed on the floor at her words. if it wasn't that he was holding the window seal, he might have collapsed on the floor.
He wished the earth would swallow him up and end the miserable state he was in.
"Anyway, that's why I came here." she said, standing after her third cigarette in silence. She stood up and walked towards the fridge and took a bottle of juice se-hee filled in the previous day.
His throat was dry, and he stood there listening to her words. The words that came out of her mouth had hurt him so much that he wasn't even shocked or disappointed. He was already so used to it that he had become numb at least he thought he was.
"Now that I can see you are fine. The money you deposited into the bank account isn't enough. I need more."
She didn't even ask how he was. If he was hurt. She had already told him numerous times that he was a disappointment and the biggest mistake in her life he never complained. She would say he was the reason his father ran away and abandoned her, so he tried making up for it working, paying off her debt, buying food everything but at that moment he realized it would never be enough.
"Get me money. I don't care if you get it from that gangster friend of yours or whatever. Get it to me by noon." she said, walking out of the room and closing the door behind her.
He felt his chest compress as he tried to breathe. he finally collapsed on the floor, holding his chest. he tried to breathe evenly, but it only became harder.
He sat there for hours thinking about his life. His pathetic sad life. Every way he thought he couldn't see a path to freedom.
It was only when the soft afternoon sun embraced his cold skin that he stood up from his paralyzed trance and took his bag. He quickly stood up and changed into his clothes before grabbing his bag and heading for the reception.
He checked himself out, which was quite faster than he expected. perks of being VIP, which weren't even his. He couldn't leave a note. What would he say.
Thank you, and bye.
It's not that they would remember anyway they would probably be happy he was gone.
⚠️⚠️
He left the hospital and walked aimlessly. He sat down for a while on the highway until it was eleven o'clock. The cars were fewer.
Even as his clothes became wetter and heavier he didn't mind them but kept walking instead. Finally he stopped.
In front of a phone booth overlooking the river below.
He looked at it for a moment before he started laughing. the rain was still pouring but it didn't wash away his sorrow. The world had pushed him to the edge and he had had enough. He had realised this was going to be his life forever ! he couldn't escape it !
He held onto the rails still laughing he looked down at the water that was rushing so fast. Even if anyone tried to save him they wouldn't succeed the waves were too strong. He didn't even want to remove his shoes. No one would bother looking for him anyway.
He had just lifted his left leg to the other side when he felt something wrap around his waist with so much force as , pulled him off the rails and roughly to the ground.
⚠️⚠️
"What are you doing!" Jae-wook asked out of breath. He looked angry and confused.
Sung-hoon lay there for a moment in a daze before his eyes focused on Jae-wook.
With as much force as he could he pushed Jae-wook off him angrily as he stood up.
"What the fuck are you doing here!?!" He shouted.
"from the look of it stopping you."
Sung-hoon stood in silence as he felt his throat choke up from the realisation of who was in front of him..
it was him once again witnessing him at his lowest point. He felt angry angry at the universe for playing a sick joke on him.
They were both breathing heavily but for different reasons. Jae-wook had lost his breath running up the street when his car broke down and Sung-hoon.
Sung-hoon was angry.
"Why.....!!! Why is it you?!" Sung-hoon choked on his words as he backed away from jae-wook.
"WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS THERE FOR FUCK's SAKE!!!" He shouted as he pulled on his clothes frustration and anger building up even further.
Jae-wook stood up straight trying to understand his words.
" I am not your pity project I do not need your help!!" He shouted once again.
"you aren't a pity project. " Jae-wook said calmly as he watched Sung-hoon spiral but his words went over his head.
"you have a good life everyone likes you. You have the perfect friend. Just leave me alone. If I decide I want to end my life I can you don't have the right to decide for me!"
"Sung-hoon..." Jae-wook said trying to get closer to him but stopped noticed Sung-hoon was getting further from him.
" I have nothing to live for." He said choking on his words as it set in. he had never really said it before he felt the tears rolling down his eyes but the rain washed them away.
Jae-wook looked at him his eyes soft.
"Why is the world like this I have worked hard I deserve something good. Am I too useless not to deserve it? I HAVE WORKED LIKE A DOG! " He said choking up once again as he collapsed to the floor.
"I did everything....why....???"
Jae-wook didn't interrupt him as he vented out his frustration and anger he figured he didn't have a chance to day it before, so he sat down beside him until he was exhausted. He didn't want to make the same mistake so he let his shoulder be his to cry on. As long as he knew there was someone beside them then there was still hope.
"I hate you...I hate you soo much." He said looking at him in the eye as he meant every single word.
Suddenly Jae-wook embraced him leaving him dumbfounded. He didn't know how much he needed it. That warm embrace despite it being from someone he hated he couldn't let go. He hated himself for letting himself fall prey to such a small show of comfort and understanding.
What others may have considered meaningless was something he yearned for, and yet he got it from the most unexpected source.
The person he hated. When he looked at Jae-wook he saw a privileged person who had everything he didn't and he hated himself for feeling so pathetic. He felt guilty of even voicing out his hate for him but yet he didn't complain.
Why?
Why didn't he complain nor ask why he hated him?
He just sat there adding to his guilt.
"Three years...three years just live for three more years. " Jae-wook whispered once again.
Sung-hoon felt his emotional barrier crumble once again as he sobbed in the arms of Jae-wook.
****
two weeks prior
***
"if you agree Raiven will make an appearance on one of the shows.....okay....two then.....fine we have a deal." Lee said hanging up before taking a gulp from his glass whiskey.
"It's done. " He said turning to face Jae-wook.
"Good." Jae-wook said as he started heading towards the exit.
"I am not your errand boy you know." Lee said after him but Raiven only gave him a small smile before walking out of the house towards the exit.
Lee stood by a large window that overlooked the vast driveway in his compound. He watched as Jae-wook got into the car and drove away.
"I want everything on Park Sung-hoon." Lee said his voice a bit bitter as he gulped down the remaining whiskey and gripped the glass hard.
"Yes sir." someone said behind him before bowing and quickly taking their leave.
The glass suddenly broke in his hand cutting him in the process.