Chereads / Across The Pacific- Original BL Story / Chapter 9 - Scene 9- A Lot of Love Loss

Chapter 9 - Scene 9- A Lot of Love Loss

"Love isn't just about fitting into each other's worlds; it's about finding beauty in the spaces between. Hiiragi taught me to savor the quiet moments, while I showed him the thrill of chasing dreams. Together, we bridged the gap between tradition and modernity, creating a home in each other where Kyoto's calm meets New York's energy."—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Victor's phone buzzed against the kitchen counter, a faint vibration barely audible over the quiet hum of morning in his apartment. He absently stirred his coffee, lost in thought, his mind drifting to plans for the day—a visit to a hidden tea house in a secluded Tokyo alleyway with Hiiragi, the new routine that had started to feel less like an obligation and more like a necessity, a comfort. When the phone buzzed again, he glanced over, expecting to see Ashton's name or a notification from the exchange program. But instead, his mother's name blinked on the screen, and his heart dropped.His mother never called this early. His gut twisted in a way that made his coffee turn cold in his hand. Something was wrong.He grabbed the phone, a surge of adrenaline making his hand shake slightly as he swiped to answer. "Mom?" he said, his voice already edged with concern."Victor," she said, her voice shaky and strained, crackling through the line as if the words themselves were fragile, ready to break. "It's Meira... she's in the hospital. She had a heart attack."The world tilted on its axis. The spoon in Victor's hand clattered to the counter, splattering coffee across the granite surface. He barely noticed."What?!" The word burst out of him, sharp and disbelieving. It didn't make sense—none of it made sense. Meira was strong, vibrant, the kind of person who seemed untouchable by something as devastating as a heart attack. "But she's—she's young! How did this happen?""They don't know yet," his mother replied, her voice trembling, each word laden with the weight of uncertainty and fear. "It's bad, Victor. You need to come home. She's asking for you."His mind raced, trying to grasp onto something solid in the swirling confusion. "I'll be there as soon as I can," he promised, his voice tight with urgency. He hung up, not even realizing he hadn't said goodbye, his fingers already moving to book a flight back to New York. His hands shook as he tossed the phone onto the counter, his entire body moving on autopilot as he rushed into his bedroom to pack.Clothes were thrown haphazardly into his suitcase, his movements frantic and disconnected, as if his mind and body were operating on two different planes. As he zipped up the suitcase, the reality of the situation began to sink in. Meira—his sister, his pillar of strength, the person who had always been there for him—was in a hospital bed, fighting for her life. The thought was too surreal, too painful to fully comprehend.In the back of his mind, another thought pushed its way through the fog of fear and urgency: Hiiragi. They had planned to meet later that afternoon, to explore more of Tokyo's hidden gems, something Victor had come to look forward to more than he would have ever admitted. The quiet moments they shared, the unspoken understanding that seemed to pass between them—it had become a rare source of comfort in his otherwise chaotic life. But now, there was no time to explain, no way to tell Hiiragi what was happening, why he had to leave so suddenly.Victor's heart ached with the weight of it all as he grabbed his suitcase and rushed out the door, a part of him regretting that he couldn't even say goodbye. But there would be time for explanations later. Right now, all that mattered was getting to Meira.***The next day, Hiiragi stood at their usual meeting spot near the bus station, the morning sun casting long shadows across the bustling street. He glanced at his phone, checking the time again. Victor was late. It was strange—Victor was never late. A small knot of worry began to form in his chest, but he told himself it was nothing, that Victor had probably just gotten caught up in something.But as the minutes ticked by, that knot of worry began to tighten, growing more insistent. Half an hour passed, then another, and still no sign of Victor. Hiiragi leaned against a nearby lamppost, trying to suppress the uneasy feeling that was gnawing at the edges of his mind. He checked his phone again, scrolling through his messages, hoping for something—anything—that would explain Victor's absence. But there was nothing. No missed calls, no texts. Just silence.A sense of unease settled over him, heavier with each passing minute. Victor wouldn't just disappear without a word. Would he? Hiiragi's mind raced, jumping from one possible explanation to another, none of them settling in a way that felt right. Maybe Victor had been delayed, or maybe something urgent had come up. But why wouldn't he send a quick message? Why leave Hiiragi waiting like this, with no idea what was going on?As the hour stretched on, Hiiragi's thoughts began to take a darker turn. What if something had happened to Victor? What if he was hurt, or worse? Hiiragi shook his head, trying to push the thought away. But the longer he stood there, the harder it became to ignore the growing sense of dread that something was wrong.By the time another half hour had passed, Hiiragi couldn't shake the feeling that something had changed. He glanced around the crowded street, as if hoping to spot Victor's familiar face among the throngs of people, but there was nothing. Just more strangers, hurrying by on their way to wherever they needed to be.With a heavy sigh, Hiiragi pushed himself away from the lamppost and started walking home, his steps slow and heavy. His mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, none of them comforting. What if Victor didn't want to see him anymore? What if he had found someone else, someone who didn't have the same language barriers, someone who was easier to be with?Hiiragi tried to push the thoughts away, but they clung to him, whispering doubts and fears into the quiet corners of his mind. He wanted to believe that Victor wouldn't just leave without an explanation, that there was some reasonable explanation for his absence. But as the minutes turned into hours, and the hours into days, those doubts began to take root, growing stronger with each passing moment.When Hiiragi finally made it home, he slipped off his shoes at the door and trudged up to his room, his heart heavy with the weight of unanswered questions. He sat on the edge of his bed, staring down at his phone, willing it to buzz with a message from Victor. But the screen remained stubbornly dark, the silence in the room echoing the silence in his heart.He tried to tell himself that it didn't matter, that Victor was just someone passing through his life, like so many others before him. But the ache in his chest told a different story, one that Hiiragi wasn't ready to confront. He had started to look forward to their time together, to the quiet moments when it felt like they were the only two people in the world. And now, with Victor gone, it felt like a part of him was missing too.The next few days passed in a blur. Hiiragi threw himself into his studies, spending more time with Akane, helping his sister around the house—anything to keep his mind off Victor. But no matter what he did, his thoughts kept drifting back to the American, to the easy smile and the warmth in his eyes that had made Hiiragi feel like he was finally being seen.He returned to their meeting spot a few more times, lingering by the bus station, waiting for a glimpse of Victor. But each time, he was met with the same emptiness, the same crushing disappointment. After the third day of silence, Hiiragi stopped going altogether. It was clear now—Victor wasn't coming back. Whether it was intentional or not, Hiiragi knew he had to move on.He tried to push down the budding feelings he had started to develop, locking them away where they couldn't hurt him. He told himself that he had simply misread the signs, that Victor had only been polite, feigning interest out of a sense of obligation. But no matter how much he tried to convince himself, the ache in his chest refused to fade.Hiiragi's heart was a tangled mess of confusion and loss, and he didn't know how to untangle it. How had someone who was supposed to be just a friend slipped so easily into his heart, leaving such a noticeable void when they were gone? The more he tried to make sense of it, the more lost he felt.One evening, as Hiiragi sat at the kitchen table, helping Akane with her coloring book, he found himself staring out the window, lost in thought. The colors on the page blurred together, his mind far away from the simple task at hand. Akane, ever perceptive for a three-year-old, tugged at his sleeve, pulling him back to the present."Oji-san?" she asked, her big, curious eyes looking up at him. "Why are you sad?"Hiiragi blinked, startled by the question. He forced a smile and ruffled her hair, trying to push the sadness down. "I'm not sad, Akane. Just thinking."Akane pouted, clearly not convinced. "You miss Victor-san, don't you?"Hiiragi's breath caught in his throat, the question hitting him harder than he expected. He hadn't mentioned Victor to Akane since he stopped showing up, not wanting to worry her. But she was a smart little girl, always noticing things that others might miss."I don't know, Akane," Hiiragi said softly, his voice laced with uncertainty. "Maybe a little."Akane tilted her head, as if pondering something important. Then she leaned in close, her tiny hand resting on his arm. "Oji-san, it's okay to miss people. But you should talk to Victor-san. Maybe he misses you too."Hiiragi stared at her, taken aback by her words. Out of the mouths of babes, as they said. Akane was right—he had been avoiding his feelings, avoiding the possibility that Victor might have a good reason for disappearing. Maybe he had misjudged the situation, let his fears and insecurities cloud his judgment. Maybe, just maybe, he needed to reach out, to ask the questions that had been gnawing at him for days.Later that night, when the house was quiet and Akane was asleep, Hiiragi sat on his bed, staring at his phone. The silence was deafening, and the screen seemed to mock him with its emptiness. Taking a deep breath, he finally typed out a message, his fingers trembling slightly as he hit send.Victor, are you okay?Hiiragi stared at the screen, watching the message marked as "Delivered," but not "Read." It sat there, an empty, unanswered question, each minute that passed only deepening the knot of worry in his stomach. He told himself Victor might be busy, caught up in something urgent, but the silence was deafening, and it left room for doubts to creep in, doubts that kept him awake that night and the next.The first day passed with a strange sense of emptiness, Hiiragi going through the motions of his routine—studying, helping around the house, playing with Akane—while his mind constantly returned to that unanswered message. He replayed their last conversation, trying to remember if there had been any signs, anything he might have missed that would explain Victor's sudden disappearance.By the end of the second day, the silence had begun to feel like an accusation, and Hiiragi's worry was almost unbearable. His thoughts churned, ranging from concern to frustration, wondering if he had said or done something wrong, if Victor had simply decided he wasn't worth the effort. Maybe Victor had grown tired of him, and the friendship he had started to treasure was slipping through his fingers before it had a chance to blossom into something more.This was clearly a case of love loss.Late that evening, as he sat alone in his room, his phone buzzed, and Hiiragi nearly dropped it in his haste to see who it was. His heart pounded in his chest when he saw Victor's name on the screen.Hiiragi, I'm so sorry. Something happened. I'm back in New York. It's my sister. She's in the hospital. I didn't mean to leave without saying anything. I just had to go. I'm sorry.The message came with no preamble, no greeting, just an explanation that made Hiiragi's breath catch in his throat. He could feel the weight behind Victor's words, the tension and sorrow bleeding through the screen, and suddenly, all the frustration and doubts he'd been harboring dissolved, replaced by a deep well of concern.Without hesitating, Hiiragi began typing a response.Victor, I'm so sorry. Is she okay? What happened?A few minutes passed before another message came through.She had a heart attack. It was sudden. The doctors don't know what caused it yet. She's stable now, but it was really bad. I didn't have time to explain. I just... I'm sorry, Hiiragi.Hiiragi's heart ached for Victor, imagining the fear and helplessness he must be feeling. He didn't care that Victor had left without a word anymore; all that mattered was being there for him now.Don't apologize, Victor. You don't have to. I'm just glad she's stable. I'm here if you need to talk, okay? Anytime.Victor didn't respond immediately, and Hiiragi could picture him, thousands of miles away, sitting in some quiet hospital room or pacing a cold corridor, too consumed with worry to think about anything else. He wished there was something more he could do, some way to bridge the distance between them.After a long pause, Victor's message finally came.Thank you, Hiiragi. I didn't know who else to talk to. It's been... really hard. I'm just trying to stay strong for her, but I feel like I'm falling apart.Hiiragi's fingers hovered over the keyboard as he searched for the right words to say. He wanted to comfort Victor, to be the support he needed, but words felt so inadequate in the face of such fear and pain.You don't have to be strong all the time, Victor, he finally typed. It's okay to be scared, to feel like things are falling apart. You're doing your best, and that's all anyone can ask of you. Your sister is lucky to have you there with her.This time, Victor's response was quicker.I don't know what I'd do without you right now. Just hearing that... it helps more than you know. I just wish you were here, or I was there. I never realized how much I'd miss you.Hiiragi's heart skipped a beat at those last words, a warmth spreading through his chest despite the seriousness of the situation. The connection he'd been afraid was slipping away was still there, strong and unspoken, even across the vast distance that separated them.I wish I could be there too, Hiiragi replied, the words carrying more weight than he could fully express. But I'm here, Victor. I'm not going anywhere.They continued to exchange messages, each one a lifeline in the silence of their separate nights, the bond between them growing stronger with every shared word. In those quiet hours, they found solace in each other's presence, even from afar, and Hiiragi realized that the budding feelings he'd tried to suppress were still there, more intense than ever.By the time they said goodnight, Victor's words lingered in Hiiragi's mind, a promise and a hope wrapped in uncertainty. Whatever happened next, he knew that this connection—this feeling—was something worth holding onto, no matter how difficult the circumstances.Hiiragi's thoughts drifted as he stared at his phone, Victor's last message still visible on the screen. The words "I miss you so much" lingered in his mind, resonating deeply. His heart ached with an emotion he had been trying to ignore, an emotion that had grown more intense with each passing day.He reflected on how much Victor had come to mean to him, how his absence had left a void that no one else could fill. The warmth of Victor's presence, the way he made Hiiragi feel understood and valued, all seemed to crystallize into something more significant. It was more than just missing a friend—it was an aching desire to be close to someone, to share not just moments but feelings.As Hiiragi lay back on his bed, he let out a long, slow sigh. He reached for his phone and opened the message thread with Victor, reading through their conversations. His thumb hovered over the screen, and he typed out a new message, one that he wasn't sure if he would ever send. It was more a declaration to himself than a note to Victor, a recognition of the feelings that had quietly taken root in his heart.He quickly deleted the message he typed out:I think I love you, Victor.I think I love you, ViI think I lovI thinIHiiragi stared up at the ceiling, the weight of his unspoken confession settling over him. It was a strange, bittersweet realization, the knowledge that his feelings had deepened into love. The thought that Victor, despite everything, had become such an integral part of his life was both comforting and terrifying. He was falling for someone who was miles away, caught in a personal crisis, and he wasn't sure what the future held.In the silence of his room, Hiiragi whispered softly to himself, the words a gentle promise and a hopeful wish. "I think I love you, Victor."He closed his eyes, letting the realization sink in, trying to embrace the emotions without letting them overwhelm him. The uncertainty of what would happen next, the longing for Victor's presence, and the hope that things would eventually work out filled him with a mix of anticipation and trepidation. For now, all he could do was wait and hold onto the fragile thread of connection that kept them linked, no matter the distance.