One typical morning, I woke up to the sound of someone hammering on my door repeatedly as the sun broke through the blinds. I crawled out of bed, still half sleepy and groggy, wondering who could possibly be here so early. I froze in amazement as soon as I opened the door. A young child, no more than three years old, was standing there with a small suitcase and a piece of paper in her hands. With a mix of fear and hope, her large, innocent eyes gazed up at me.
She trembled as she murmured, "Hi, Daddy," quietly.
As I tried to comprehend the circumstances, my mind raced. Dad? I didn't have a father. Was there a joke going on here? However, she released her tight grasp on the piece of paper and held it up. It was a certificate from a DNA test, proving she was, in fact, my daughter. The paperwork was authentic, complete with my name, her name, and the indisputable evidence that we were related.
I felt a wave of confusion, bewilderment, and odd duty all at once. From where had she originated? Her mother, who was she? How come she was abandoned at my door? Though a thousand questions raced through my head, I had to give the little girl's teary eyes some serious attention right away.
My heart hammered as I bent down to her level. I tried not to cry as I said, "Hey, um... sweetheart." "What's your name?"
"Lily," she said in a voice that was almost audible.
"Lily," I said again, the word seeming both strange and comfortable on my tongue. "Where's your mommy, Lily?"
I saw the anxiety seeping into her eyes as her lower lip trembled. "I'm not sure," she muttered. "She said... she said you'd take care of me."
Her words struck me with the force of a freight train. This young girl didn't think that I was her father and that I was now in charge of her wellbeing; it wasn't just a joke or an error. I cast a quick glance around, looking for someone who could shed some light on the situation. With the exception of the birds chirping in the trees, the street seemed strangely silent.
I turned to face Lily, who was holding on to her bag even more tightly, as though it was the only thing keeping her grounded in this perplexing world. In an attempt to center myself, I inhaled deeply. I responded, "Okay, Lily," in a strong yet kind manner. "Why don't you enter the house? We'll work together to resolve this."
After a brief pause, she nodded and gently relaxed her hold on the luggage. I got up and moved aside so she could enter my flat. While she was doing it, I couldn't help but observe how frail and little she appeared, the large sweater she was wearing nearly covering her entire body.
I shut the door after her, my thoughts still racing. This was just crazy. Suddenly, a youngster I didn't know or remember was in my house, calling me Daddy. I took a quick look at the DNA certificate she gave me before. Everything was there, as obvious as day: the names and the numbers. It was obvious that Lily was my daughter.
However, how? And why at this moment?
I saw her as she cautiously placed her bag next to the sofa and surveyed the space with wide eyes. Her tentative steps, her kind tone, the way she held onto the tiny plush bear in her other hand—all of it made me feel something.
"Are you hungry, Lily?" I questioned, attempting to divert my attention from the flurry of ideas racing through my mind. "Would you like something to eat?"
Still muted, she nodded once more, and I guided her to the kitchen. Even though I wasn't much of a chef, I could make some scrambled eggs and toast, wishing it would bring her adequate solace. I couldn't help but notice how she continued looking at me as she sat at the table, swinging her legs a little, as if to see whether I was really someone she could trust.
I used her eating period as a chance to take a closer look at the DNA certificate. The paper was official and difficult to falsify, bearing the seal of a recognized laboratory. The outcome was unambiguous: a 99.9% match. There was no denying that I owned Lily.
However, that just prompted further queries. Her mother, who was she? Why had she abandoned Lily to me without even leaving a message or an explanation? And what was I meant to accomplish right now?
I was startled out of my reverie by Lily's fork clinking against her plate. Her wide, trusting eyes were staring at me after she'd completed her food.
She said, "Thank you, Daddy," with a bit more strength in her voice.
Even now, calling someone "Daddy" seemed weird, almost unreal, but I couldn't bring myself to rebuke her. Rather, I forced a wobbly grin on my face. "You're welcome, Lily."
Taking care of this tiny kid who had somehow ended up in my life was the only thing I could do for the time being, even though I knew I wanted to find answers. Even though it was confusing and overwhelming, I had to disappoint her.
"Let's go get you settled in, okay?" I spoke as I got up and extended my hand.
Lily put out her hand and grabbed it, her little fingers entwining with mine. Her gentle touch helped to re-establish my sense of reality. This was authentic. She was authentic. And suddenly she was in my life, for better or worse.
I knew that my life had just taken a turn I could never have predicted as we made our way to the spare bedroom, where I would make up a temporary area for her. The path ahead seemed unclear and paved with obstacles for which I wasn't sure I was prepared. However, I was certain of one thing as I looked down at Lily, who was staring up at me with a mixture of trust and curiosity:
I would exert every effort in my ability to be the parent she required.