Ah, she's gone. Why doesn't she understand? I just want to be of help to my big sister. The situation now is the same as back then—there's no one by her side. She's all alone. She's always protecting me, but who will protect her? I swore that day, didn't I? I swore I'd stand by her side. So, I can't afford to waste time on this. If I want to stay with her forever, I have to be the one to get closer to her, not the other way around.
It's true that my sister, who can do anything, probably doesn't need my help. That's why this is my first selfish desire. I want to stand by her side, to be someone who belongs there. I want to be someone who can protect and support her. That's what I wish for.
As I was thinking that, my sister came back to the room, saying dinner was ready. We held hands as we went down the stairs, and after saying "Let's eat" together, we began our meal. My sister seemed to be talking more than usual, perhaps to avoid bringing up the previous topic. It was clear that she wasn't ready to allow it, so I didn't bring it up either.
From that day on, I started thinking about how I could persuade my sister. It's not that I hate our current life. During the day, I do what I want, and at night, I spend time with her. The days we spend together, almost as if reclaiming the sisterly bond we never had before, have definitely filled my heart. I understand why my sister might think it's fine to stay like this. But things have to change. I need to start with small changes.
"Do you want to cook?"
"Yes. You're tired from going to school during the day, aren't you? So, I want to cook and have it ready for you."
"No, cooking is dangerous. What if you got hurt? Don't worry, going to school isn't that tiring."
"Geez, you're too overprotective, Sis. I'll be fine. I can do it."
"No, you never know what could happen."
"Then what about cleaning or laundry? That should be okay, right?"
"What if you ran into those people? You don't have to do such things. You just need to live doing what you like."
"Those people? Oh, you mean Dad and them. I haven't thought about them much since we haven't seen them in over a month. I used to work hard for them, but now, I want to work hard for you."
"What about school then?"
"That's a no. If there's anything you need, I'll get it for you, so just stay in your room."
Hmm, I can't believe she's not allowing me to do anything. I guess I have no choice but to persistently and patiently continue persuading her. While I keep trying to convince her, I also need to think about how I can stay by her side.
After several days of trying to persuade her, my sister suddenly looked down and stopped responding. I wondered what was wrong, and then she spoke with a pained expression.
"Hey, Kaya. I want you to answer me honestly. Do you hate me?"
"Why? Of course not."
"Then why are you trying to pull away from me?"
It was so rare for her to show her emotions that I was taken aback. The last time she raised her voice like this was probably back then. I was momentarily stunned, but then I hurriedly denied it.
"No, no, Sis. It's not that I want to get away from you, I want to protect you. You always worry about something happening to me, but I also worry about something happening to you. That's why I want to be prepared, just in case."
I said this, hoping to calm her down, but she wasn't convinced.
"I can't live without you, Kaya. I don't want to lose you again."
"I feel the same way. I can't live without you either. So—Wait, Sis, I'm not done talking yet."
Before I could finish, my sister left the room. Once she was gone, there was nothing I could do with the restraints on my legs. I waited in frustration for her to return. After a while, the door opened, and I tried to explain as soon as I saw her.
"Oh, Sis. So—Wait, what are you holding, Sis?"
My sister entered my room holding a knife. Ah, is she going to kill me? If this is how it ends, I shouldn't have been so selfish. Strangely, though, I wasn't afraid of dying. If my sister was going to kill me, then so be it. My only regret was that she'd become a murderer. Preparing myself for the pain, I closed my eyes, but the pain never came.
"Kaya, open your eyes. I'm not going to stab you."
When I opened my eyes at her words, I saw that the knife was placed in my hand.
"Then why did you bring a knife?"
"If you want to leave this place, then kill me."
What? What is she saying?