TW: Mild sexual content, language, violence, blood.On Christmas Day, Demian woke up to the familiar sound of his parents clamoring in the kitchen. He lay in his bed, familiar memories had been returning to him the past couple days and he was feeling a range of emotions. From the night he spent together with Higgs in the Hidden Garden, to the first time he gave himself to Draco, the recounting was haunting him. An overwhelming amount of information was returning, he tried his best to smile at his parents at the breakfast table, but they could tell something was wrong. "Darling, are you alright?" His mother said, she filled up his teacup, a worried look on her face. "I'm fine mother, it's just...the memories coming back." He said. She sighed and nodded her head, "To be young and feel that familiar sting of love and passion once more. I can recall just how deep a first love runs, and that's the look you have now." He brushed his hair behind his ear and nodded his head. "Yeah...I just didn't expect it to hurt this much." He said. "It will pass, and Malfoy will return to you darling. Even if Lucius forbids it and you must spend some time apart, if the love if real, it will work out." She responded, reassuringly. "Now, tell me who sent you the beautiful journal." Demian blushed a little bit, he looked over and his father was watching tv, distracted. "His name is Terrence. Terrence Higgs." he said quietly.His mother smiled at him, sitting down and sipping her tea. "What is he like?" Demian swallowed hard, recounting both the good and bad times they shared with one another as best he could, "He's....so kind. At times, more so than Malfoy ever was. He's handsome, but in a much softer way. He's so much gentler and doesn't at all seem embarrassed to be with me." "But?" His mother said, as if she knew. "But....the feelings I have just aren't as deep." His mother stirred her tea with a small spoon, thinking of her next words, "Well, it seems like the two of them are very unlike one another. Are you sure you're making the right decision, darling?" She said.Demian just shrugged his shoulders, cupping his tea in his hands comfortingly. "I don't know what the right decision is, mum." He said. She smiled at him and nodded her head, "Give it time, my love. Whatever happens, both your father and I will be there for you." Demian took a sip of his tea and smiled, this time genuinely. "Thank you mum...I love you." "And I love you." She got up quickly, "Wait right here." She said. Demian watched her as she ran to the living room and plucked a present from under the tree. She made her way back to the table and handed it to him eagerly. "Well go on then, most of them are clothes but this was something we picked out for you special." He held the package in his hands for a moment and undid the ribbon. He started to rip the dark purple paper off the small package and uncovered a little box. He shook it once in his hands, it rattled against the sides and his mother just laughed. "Go on!" She said eagerly. He opened it and inside was what looked like a black key, his initials were engraved on it. "A...key?" He said. His mother began to speak, "This key can hold memories, and allow you to look at them whenever you want. After your fall, I never wanted you to worry about losing sight of what was most important." She took the key from him, "You look through this small opening in the center, and whatever happiest memory you have will appear." He held up the key in front of him and looked through, he saw a dusk night and the sun setting, black water was lapping in front of him and Draco was sitting next to him, a finger was lifting his chin and he was kissing him. Demians eyes filled with tears and he swallowed hard, looking away from the key. His mother looked sad, "Oh darling, I'm sorry..." She said. He shook his head, "No, it really is my happiest memory, mum. I just miss him so much..." She hugged him, and he tried to control his tears, his father looked up from the tv and saw what was happening. He got up and joined in the hug, silence overcame the kitchen for a few moments and Demian finally looked up, "Thank you, so much." "Oh darling, we love you." His mother said. They opened the rest of their gifts, Demian found himself looking through the key periodically throughout the day, the thoughts of Draco both comforting and maddening. He really couldn't forget about Black Lake. *.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*The rest of the day went by quickly, his father made a magnificent supper, and they shared many laughs. Demian felt weight lifting off his shoulders as the stress of his chaotic life melted away in the presence of his supportive parents, he found smiling came more easily, and he was able to look through the black key more often, different memories appearing, even some with Higgs. The happiness and color slowly returned to his cheeks over the next few days. The break was coming to an end, and he found himself feeling nervous about returning, unaware of what could have possibly happened over the last few weeks to Draco. He felt a pit in his stomach, and worried he would never return. He shook his mind free of those thoughts and took in a deep breath, trying to ground himself. It's going to be okay. He thought. On the final night of his trip, he heard unmistakable tapping on his window. He got up and looked out, Terrence was standing there, one of his hands full of small pebbles, his breath was foggy in the cold winter air and Demian cracked his window. "What are you doing here?" He whispered. "You know we go back tomorrow, you could have seen me then." "I couldn't wait any longer." Higgs said, and this made Demian blush. "Stay there." He said, quickly throwing on some warm clothes, adorning his neck with that familiar scarf he had grown to cherish. He creeped down the stairs, past his parents room and went out the back door. Higgs was standing there, shivering a bit and Demian quickly took his hand, leading his to his safe space, the tree house. They both climbed up the ladder, and although it wasn't heated, it was significantly warmer than outside. When they were both settled, sitting across from one another Demian finally spoke, "Why did you come all this way?" He said. "I can't stop thinking about you Demian, I miss you, so much. These past few weeks have been torturous, not being able to see you or speak to you. After what happened that last day of school you looked so sad, and that memory has been burned into my mind. I had to make sure you were okay, and...well, that you were coming back." Demian blushed a little bit, he fidgeted with his hands nervously before finally speaking, "I am coming back Higgs, of course I am...and I wanted to thank you for the gift, I have never had someone give me something so...romantic." Higgs took his fidgeting hand in his own and brought it to his lips, kissing it softly. "You have no idea how romantic I can truly be." He said, cockily. Demian laughed, "Clearly." And without a second thought Higgs pulled him towards himself, into his arms. Demian sighed softly and leaned into his chest, a comforting hand was stroking his hair and he listened to a familiar rhythmic beat that seemed to quicken from his touch. Although he missed Malfoy dreadfully, Higgs soft touch made him feel just as safe as this childhood space that he had grown up in, he looked up and whispered, "Why me, Terrence?" Higgs smiled at him and brushed his long hair behind his ear, revealing more of his face he so desperately tried to hide when he was nervous. "Demian, I've never felt this way about anyone. Everything about you. Your bright green eyes that somehow see right through me, that touch that makes my heart race, the way you gasp when someone kisses you here." He reached up and stroked the side of his neck, right below his ear, "The way you believed in me when no one else did. I know that...that you have feelings for Malfoy, and it hurts me, that night at the Hidden Garden made me second guess some things, but the truth is...I know that as much as he cares for you, I care about you more. And I would treat you better than he ever could." Demian didn't respond, he leaned up and kissed him, and Higgs eyes widened for a moment until he melted into it, he pulled Demian closer to him and kissed him back. Demian faced him and slipped his arms around his neck, straddling his hips. Higgs hands trembled nervously, and he gripped Demians waist, kissing him back with more force as a quiet moan escaped his lips. He slowly leaned back until he was flush with the ground, Demians body pressing against his own as they kissed. The cold air nipped at them as their breathing became more ragged and Higgs swallowed hard, his hands slipping up the back of Demians shirt, the touch of his cold fingertips sent shivers up Demians spine and he inhaled softly from the shock. "It's...so cold." He said. Higgs panted softly and planted another kiss on his lips before responding. "It is...maybe a little too cold.""Lets continue this, tomorrow.." Demian said and Higgs face reddened, he felt himself grow firmer at the thought and he nodded in agreement, "Don't forget about me Valentino." He whispered. "I won't..." Demian responded, he gently kissed him again and the two of them climbed out of the treehouse together, he watched Higgs leave his backyard and went back to his room, watching the silhouette through the window until he could no longer see anything, he went to bed smiling.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*The next day he quickly got his things together and prepared for the train ride, his mother looked sad to see him go, and his father got up extra early, baking him all sorts of treats to take back to his dorm. Demian was somewhat tired after the night he had, but he couldn't help but smile at the prospect of seeing Higgs when he got back to Hogwarts. His parents drove him to the train station and his mother shed a few tears watching him board, she shouted, "We love you darling!" and stayed there, waving and watching the train until it was completely out of view. Demian thought he would be sitting alone until Peter stumbled through the aisleways, peeking into every room until he finally saw Demian. "Oh thank fuck, there you are I thought I was going to have to sit next to Millicent." Demian laughed and he filed into the seat across from him. "So how was your break?" Peter said. Demians hand was in his pocket, he could feel the familiar small key and he smiled. "It was fucking fantastic, you?" He said. Peter scoffed, "Other than my brother actually using those dungbombs I got him during Christmas Dinner, it was rather uneventful." Demian laughed again. "You should have seen her face, my mum was looking all over thinking the Christmas Ham smelled like actual shit, it was fucking hilarious." Mordred whipped the door open and sat down quickly. "Jesus I've been looking all over, next time we just need to board the train together." He said. They all nodded in agreement. The sweets trolley made its rounds and finally got to their cabin, where Demian denied needing anything. He pulled out a rather large box and opened it in front of his friends, dozens of baked good were inside. "I fucking love your dad." Peter said, reaching in and grabbing a few different types of cookies, Mordred did the same. The friends ate their treats together and caught up on the ride back, Demians head kept going back and forth between the two men he couldn't stop thinking about, he felt queasy and wasn't sure if it was the sweets, or his conscience. *.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*When they finally arrived at Hogwarts Demian and his friends walked back to their dorm together, they unloaded their bags and fell back into their familiar beds. "Feels so fucking good to be back." Peter said, pulling out a cigarette and heading for his favorite spot in the corner near the window. He cracked it open and quickly lit it, Demian followed in suit and joined him. "You guys should really stop smoking it's gross as fuck." Mordred said, laying back in his bed with his hands behind his head. "Whatever mate, we can't all be as relaxed as you are naturally." Peter retorted, taking a drag and then handing it to Demian who gratefully accepted. "For fucking real, I feel like my head is going to explode there's so much shit going on." Demian said. "Have you seen Draco?" Peter said. Demian just shook his head, "Haven't seen or heard from him since that day." Peter sucked his teeth and exhaled sharply, "Mate I'm nervous for you." He said. "Tell me about it. You know who I did see though?" And before anyone could respond both Mordred and Peter said in unison, "Higgs." Demian just laughed. "Spot on boys, spot on." "I mean he chases you like a fucking lost dog." Peter said, taking a drag off his cigarette. "Yeah but I mean, it's kinda cute." Mordred rolled his eyes and laughed. "How the fuck do you go from someone like Draco, to someone like Higgs." "That's a great question, because the two of them are so fucking different." Demian took another drag off his cigarette and said in a raspy voice, "I think I'm going to see Higgs tonight though." Peter scoffed and took the cigarette from between Demians fingers, "Yeah well, that fire you're playing with is burning pretty bright, be fucking careful." Demian nodded and stared out the window, the smoke rolled out into the open air and dissipated quickly. He got up from his seat and wiped the ashes off the front of his clothes. "Alright fuck this, I'm doing it. I'll see you guys later." Peter took one last hit off his cigarette blew it out the window before tossing it, he waved Demian out, "Yeah yeah mate, you do you. Don't go falling off anything today." He joked. Mordred laughed and Demian exited to the hallway, making his way towards the Slytherin common room where he hoped to see Higgs. *.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*He walked with his hands in his pockets, he was nervous. When he reached the front of the common room Pansy was standing outside, she scoffed "You dare show your face around here still, mudblood?" Demian just rolled his eyes. He noticed she had faded marks on her neck, they were tinged yellow, and she spat, "What are you fucking looking at?" before adjusting the collar of her shirt so it covered more of her neck. He shook his head, annoyed and entered the common room. Higgs was laughing in the corner with Blaise Zabini, his face lit up when he saw Demian and he cut off his conversation, standing up. "See you later man." They did a quick handshake and he got up, walking over to Demian who still hand his hands in his pockets. He scanned the room for Malfoy but caught Astorias eyes instead. She waved and blew him a kiss sarcastically, his stomach dropped, and Higgs spoke up, "Fuck off Astoria. Let's get out of here." He actually took Demians hand in front of the other Slytherins and walked back to his room with him. Just three doors down, Malfoys was sitting in his own room and Demian found himself looking that way, feeling guilty as he held Higgs hand and entered his room. My dorm mates are out for the day, I told them to steer clear. He said confidently as he shut the door. Demian felt nervous, he'd never been to Higgs room before. "Umm...which one is yours?" He said, pointing at the beds. He took his hand and led him to the bed, they both sat down together and Demian nervously looked at his feet. He felt a reassuring hand on his leg, and he looked up. Higgs was smiling at him. "Why so nervous, Valentino?" He whispered softly. Demian felt his heart racing and he swallowed, shrugging his shoulders. "The entire common room..." "Saw us together?" Higgs cut him off. "Who cares, I told you I was through hiding, and I meant it." Demian smiled at him and felt a familiar hand brushing his hair from his face once more, his cheeks stained red. "You know I haven't stopped thinking about last night..." Higgs said softly. Demians eyes met his and suddenly his lips were against his own. He kissed him back, slowly, and Higgs fingertips trailed up Demians thigh, goosebumps scattered across his skin as his hand grazed the crotch of his trousers and he let out a quiet gasp against his lips. He felt his back being pressed against the soft mattress, and Higgs had climbed on top of him, planting soft kisses down his jawline. Demian felt his heartbeat quickening, he tiled his head so he had more access to his neck and could feel Higgs teeth softly nipping at his skin, another wave of goosebumps overcame him and bit the inside of his bottom lip to keep quiet. Suddenly, the door flew open, and they both looked up, Malfoy was standing there, a fire in his eyes. Before Higgs had a chance to react, a hand was grabbing the back of his shirt and pulling him off Demian, who was leaned up on his elbows, worry plastered on his face. "Malfoy don't hurt him!" He pleaded, but to no avail. Higgs was trying to collect himself on the ground, but Malfoy quickly kicked him in his stomach, he choked out and gasped for breath for a moment before letting out a laugh. "Hey Draco." He said hoarsely, holding his stomach. "You can't just leave us alone for five minutes can you." Draco said nothing, he leaned down on one knee and picked him up by his shirt collar, punching him swiftly in the mouth multiple times. Demian watched in horror and quickly got to his feet, trying to intervene but Malfoy pushed him back. He kept punching him until the smile went away and laughter finally stopped. The room was silent for a moment and Demians eyes welled up with tears, Draco spit on Higgs unconscious body and turned to face Demian. "Get the fuck to my room, now." Demian felt fear overcome him and he looked down at Higgs, tears welling up in his eyes he exited the dorm while Malfoy walked behind him, ensuring he took no detours.