'Are you happier or sadder here?'
Nicole could see Wu Zhaoxing in front of her in the mysterious deep sea there. The girl still looked the same as she remembered twelve years ago, while she was the one who kept aging and changing.
'Or maybe you're scarier now?'
The guilt of not being able to pull the girl's hand that night still haunted Nicole to this day, and would probably follow her until her last breath.
'The promise I made to you in the past, I'm sorry I couldn't keep it. But, Xingxing, if I may ask for one thing. Can you let me go now? Because, I don't think it's time for me to follow you yet.'
Like in a dream, Nicole felt like she could talk to the girl not directly through her mouth, but with her feelings. Because the words that came out of there wouldn't lie at all, that's why Nicole was somehow scared when she met Wu Zhaoyi in the dreamland, because her heart would tell what she really wanted to say.
'There is still someone waiting for me out there, I hope you understand because you are also a mother. I'm not asking for a life of happiness or anything like that, because I've accepted that this is how it will be forever.'
Because she was responsible for taking away someone else's happiness, Nicole couldn't allow herself to picture a future with Wu Zhaoyi or any other source of joy. How could she find happiness in someone else's passing, knowing that she had caused it?
'Give me a little more time and I will come back to join you here.'
Nicole smiled at the girl, "I won't leave you alone again."
Her eyes fluttered open and Nicole took deep, shaky breaths. Her entire body was drenched, as was the person holding her, who kept repeating Nicole's name with exhausted eyes.
"Shanshan.. Shanshan.." Wu Zhaoyi's voice began to sound in her ears. "You can hear me, right?"
Among all the noises beside the pool, Wu Zhaoyi's voice was the only one that penetrated Nicole's mind and woke her up from her deep dream. Wu Zhaoyi also seemed to have saved her, once again.
"She looked unhappy there," Nicole's voice was tinged with sadness. "I feel so sorry for her."
Nicole hoped that Wu Zhaoyi would understand who she was talking about. However, from his sudden embrace, she knew that he could read her mind. "Don't worry about it, I'm just glad you're here now," replied the man in a comforting and reassuring tone. "You made the right decision, Shanshan."
From that day on, Nicole knew, no matter how many years had passed. No matter how hard her life was, that promise would follow Nicole until she truly paid it off one day.
When she had lost all hope of love, the universe brought that special someone to mend her heart. For Nicole, Wu Zhaoyi was always the one who could heal her in ways no one else could. But he would never be hers.
***
"Shanshan.. Shanshan.." the same voice called her again. But this time she felt the atmosphere around her was different, no longer cold but rather warm. The clothes Nicole was wearing had changed to dry ones and she was lying on a soft bed that was indicating that she was in her bedroom.
When Nicole opened her eyes, she was met with the gentle gaze of a man. The morning sunlight momentarily blinded her, as if she were still caught in a dream with Wu Zhaoyi smiling down at her. It was a sight that brought joy to Nicole each morning, even though it was something she dared not hope for.
"You really have to wake up this time," Wu Zhaoyi who was wearing white clothes made it feel even more unreal. Nicole knew this was no dream, however a small part of her wanted to stay in this moment forever and not ruin the happiness she felt.
Because there was no response, Wu Zhaoyi spoke again, this time his tone of voice changed to serious. "Director Xiu is here," he said briefly, "He wants to see you."
The door opened and Nicole could see everyone sitting in the living room together but in silence, it seemed like they were waiting for her to show up there. Among them all, Lai Xuting was the first to realize that Nicole was there as the man immediately stood up from his seat and looked at her with concern.
"Are you okay?" Lai Xuting asked Nicole which made everyone's attention divert just like they were out of their own worlds. "Is something bothering you? Do you think you need to see a doctor?"
The series of questions made Nicole half stunned, realizing how worried the man was. Slowly, it seemed like she started to feel that Director Lai's face resembled someone from her past. Was he the boy with the helmet hair? The one who left his notes in Shanshan's locker almost every day, even though she didn't ask for it when they were in high school? Is this man who seems brave enough to speak in front of everyone, the same introverted man from the past?
"Miss Nicole," Another voice that followed Lai Xuting was Director Li, who was looking at her uncomfortably because he had done something bad to her. "If you need anything, you can let me know. I'll have someone check on you."
When she turned her gaze to Director Li's side, she could see Li Rong with her head down avoiding Nicole's gaze. From Nicole's position, she could tell that the woman seemed fine. Although there might be some injuries, overall everything was in good condition. Because if not, Director Li and his daughter wouldn't be here right now and looking at Nicole with a guilty face. Unknowingly when looking at the two faces side by side, Nicole could start to see the similarities very clearly.
"Director Li, shouldn't the first thing you and your daughter should say is apologize to Miss Nicole?" The voice that came from the black-clothed man who was sitting with his back sounded like an order from someone who had a position above Director Li. "Also, you've used her to this extent, that means you should repay her favor abundantly."
"Of course.. of course.." Director Li hurriedly replied and walked towards Nicole while nodding his head a few times. "Sorry for the trouble I caused you, Miss Nicole."
"Then, what are you going to do to repay her?" the distant voice sounded again as if speaking to Nicole. "Don't forget that a life was almost lost yesterday because of Li Rong."
"Right.. Right.." Director Li's frightened voice grew louder with each word that came out of his mouth. "For the Smart City project, I will go to Wei Sheng's side. I will support you in whatever you need." His gaze shifted to Wu Zhaoyi who was standing behind Nicole, then to her as if to show his seriousness about it.
"Huh.." Janice's emotional sigh made the room noisy in an instant and everyone stood up from their seats except for the man with his back to Nicole, who had the most distinct aura among others there. "At least you know what you have to do to repay Shan Jie~, although I still think it's not worth the life she almost lost yesterday."
For Nicole and the others who were there, those words were rather surprising to them because of the support Janice gave her while their status were rivals. "And you too," Janice called out to the woman who was standing not far from her. "Don't you think you should be the first one to apologize to Shan Jie~, and to all of us here? Even if necessary, you should kneel in front of us, because you have made a game that threatens other people's lives."
Li Xuting who could predict that Janice's emotions would explode even more there like firecrackers ready to burn anyone around her. The man had no other choice and decided to take the woman out of the room, because he realized that they were not the important parties who should be talking there.
"Excuse me, Director Xiu. Janice and I will go out first," Lai Xuting said while bowing his head towards the man sitting alone on the far sofa. "Nice to meet you." Then he pulled Janice's hand and dragged her body a little, because she still continued to curse Director Li and Li Rong for all the disasters that had happened.
And when the large and bright room fell silent again, Director Xiu finally stood up from his chair and turned his body to face Nicole. For the first time, she was finally able to face the Black Tortoise, where the mysterious aura was very pronounced with Director Xiu wearing a plain black casual shirt with a collar and white trousers. However, from the gaze behind the gold-rimmed glasses, it managed to make Nicole look intimidating and made her feel small there.
"Nice to meet you, Miss Nicole." Director Xiu called her with both hands in his pockets, "I hope there is a chance to work together in the future, for both of us."
In that statement, the middle-aged man talked about himself and Nicole without including Wei Sheng. "I think we can work together from now on, Director Xiu." She replied calmly, "It would be great if Wei Sheng could get the support of the four guardians."
The expressionless Director Xiu, doesn't answer questions from his appearance but from his words, but behind his words there are a million meanings that you have to guess yourself. "If you think so, let me consider it." Then a smile that couldn't be called a smile because it was too awkward for Nicole appeared on that stiff face. "I just hope you two won't regret it later. Because you were the one who invited me."
***
"Are you okay?"
That was the question Nicole heard most often that day, but she could understand it, especially when the person asking was the woman standing next to her, Kylie Howe.
"Why? Do you feel a little sorry because I'm okay?" Nicole, who was standing on the balcony outside her room, enjoyed the humid air brought by the sea breeze that felt sticky on her body. "You should put the location on the edge of the ship, so whoever stands there will really jump into the sea and die, not into Brian's swimming pool."
Hearing those words, Kylie didn't feel like she was hearing a joke, but it made her shiver a little. "That wasn't my intention, there was never my purpose to end her life. I just wanted to humiliate her in public, but it turned out she was just exaggerating the situation at that time."
Nicole smiled faintly, "I know. There's no point in ending someone's life to get your lover back, because the person who's gone will never come back, no matter how hard you force them."
Kylie stared at Nicole for a moment, observing the woman who looked much more mature than her, which also proved that she had gone through a lot of pain in her life. "I guess we'll never see each other again. It's a shame, because I thought we'd be great friends."
Nicole replied in a flat voice, "Let's see what surprises life can bring."
Kylie nodded her head and said sincerely, "I hope one of life's surprises is to break you free."
Nicole looked at Kylie for a little while, "I'm sorry for what I did, but I don't really feel guilty. Because, I start to believe again in what true love can do when I see you two." Then the woman said her last words, "May you two have a happy ending in this life, Miss Nicole."
"I hope you too, Miss Kylie." Nicole said genuinely from the bottom of her heart. "Please love yourself more."
***