Wu Zhaoyi followed the guard in front of him who walked towards the room where the woman was staying, while supporting her body to continue walking forward. When they stopped in front of one of the rooms, the guard took out a card and stuck it on the door and invited the two of them to go in first.
Looking around the room, Wu Zhaoyi went straight to one of the large rooms and lowered the unconscious woman onto the bed. Just as he was about to turn around to leave, his hand was suddenly grabbed. As if he could guess who did it, without turning his head at all, Wu Zhaoyi said. "Get some rest."
"I won you over from her," Kylie said in a hoarse and weak voice, but her grip was strong enough to hold Zhaoyi's hand. "Right?"
The man didn't answer right away, as if he was considering something. "If you really love someone, you won't bet on that person no matter what." He said calmly, "In the meantime, you will give her the freedom to choose what kind of happiness she wants."
"Then, are you okay if it turns out that the happiness she chooses is not you?"
Wu Zhaoyi's eyes trembled, as if he had not expected to hear the question that haunted him from anyone's mouth. "Oh," He replied shortly and took a deep breath. "Things end. People change. And life goes on."
This time he turned his head for a moment, glancing at the woman who was lying with her eyes closed. "You should do the same. In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take, not the ones we did."
As his heart slowly loosened, Kylie's grip on Zhaoyi also weakened giving the man a chance to leave. He pulled his hand away easily and prepared to leave, but when Zhaoyi reached the doorway, he paused for a moment. "I'm sorry, but even if I had the chance to choose, I would still choose her again. Only her, no one else."
Then the sound of the front door opening was heard followed by the man's wide footsteps that were getting farther away and finally could not be heard anymore, making the room silent.
Still in the same position, Kylie slowly opened her heavy eyes and said to herself, "I try to do it every day, to continue my life. But, it only makes me think of you more." The image of a person appeared in her head "Because, missing you is a heartache that never goes away."
Then the woman closed her eyes again and tired tears dripped down her cheeks.
"How much longer do we have to wait?"
Janice, who was starting to grumble, looked at the two people sitting in front of her, at one of the high bar tables near the sofa, where Nicole lay unconscious.
"Wait a little longer," Miss Rong said in a low voice, "Let's see who Wu Zhaoyi really chooses."
Then Miss Rong leaned back in the chair with both hands folded in front of her chest and looked at Nicole's body there. "If Wu Zhaoyi really comes back here, it means he has lost this game." Then she looked at Lai Xuting who was sitting in front of her calmly but with anxiety implied there. Whether it was anxiety from seeing Nicole's condition or anxiety that Wu Zhaoyi would really return to that place.
As if there was no need to wait any longer, the main character they were waiting for really returned to the place with a flushed face and short breaths that sounded so loud. Sweat soaked the man's entire body, from his hair to the clothes he was wearing as if confirming the speculation that emerged from the three people waiting there.
"I'll take her from here," Wu Zhaoyi said as he focused his attention on Nicole, then lifted the girl's body firmly even though he himself had not fully recovered and seemed to have difficulty walking properly.
"You.." Miss Rong's voice stopped Zhaoyi in his tracks. "Do you realize what you are doing right now?"
Zhaoyi didn't move at all from his position and stared at Nicole's face that looked peacefully sleeping in his arms. As if strengthening his determination, Zhaoyi spoke clearly. "Yes, I know what I really want now. I won't hesitate one bit about my feelings for her, because I'm strong enough now."
True to his word, the man walked out of the pub and tightened his embrace on Nicole's body that felt so light in Zhaoyi arms. "I think I gained the courage I didn't have back then."
"How are you feeling?"
Wu Zhaoyi asked as he stood in front of the closed bathroom door of his bedroom. "Don't scratch your skin too hard, it will leave scars and it will be hard to remove." He had been saying it over and over since she came in ten minutes ago. "I'll get someone to bring the ointment, for now, just endure as much as you can. Or I'll get my doctor friend to check on you after we get off the boat."
Nicole, who was soaking in a bathtub filled with ice water to relieve the itch and help her sober up from the alcohol, heard Zhaoyi's voice talking to her from outside. With one hand raised and placed on the bathtub to support her head so that her ponytailed hair would not get wet, Nicole closed her eyes as she vaguely remembered Zhaoyi's words at the pub earlier. And when she managed to replay the incident in her head, her chest felt so warm even though the water that wet her body was so cold on her skin.
"Shanshan.. are you okay? Or do you need help there?" Zhaoyi said anxiously while calling the woman since there was no answer. "I don't think it will work. Just wait, I will ask someone for help."
Nicole's eyes slowly opened and for a moment she was confused about what to say to the man. Should she apologize for messing everything up? Or should she thank Zhaoyi for worrying so much about her?
"Do you still hate cold water?" The woman's voice stopped Zhaoyi from asking for help.
Zhaoyi, who was just about to get up from his position like a living statue there, changed his mind and chose to lean against the cupboard behind him with both hands in his trouser pockets. Ready to accompany the woman to chat all night, even though he knew it was impossible.
"Is that the only thing you remember about me?" The man's voice was calm again, like the usual Wu Zhaoyi. "But, I don't think I hate it anymore."
"Really?" Nicole replied curiously. "How is that possible?"
Zhaoyi stared at the door while imagining the woman standing in front of him. "Since you like cold weather, then I try to like it too." Because Nicole didn't answer anymore, Zhaoyi spoke up. "Do you still like rainy days?"
There was a long pause there, until Nicole's voice came again. "No. I hate it now, because it can't cure my pain anymore."
Zhaoyi sighed softly and said with regret, "Because of me?"
"Not entirely true, but you had a part in it too." Nicole answered honestly. "But, I guess I also had a part in hurting you in the past. I'm sorry."
Zhaoyi's chest felt heavy hearing those words, "Shanshan.." He murmured emotionally, "Have you ever regretted meeting me?" He knew that the woman must have an answer to that question, but Zhaoyi wanted to hear it directly from Shanshan's mouth.
"Life is not hard to live when you have nothing to lose." Nicole answered softly, "But that year you made me realize that I already had so much in life, that's why it felt like living in another hell."
Before Zhaoyi could answer, Nicole continued. "Love is like falling... In the end, you will be hurt, scared and will be with those memories forever. However, rather than feeling regret, maybe I should thank you for bringing those moments into my life even though they were all lies."
"Actually, because of those lies, I realized that love is not a temporary feeling or emotion." His words sounded deep, "Emotions and feelings change, sometimes every day. But true unconditional love is eternal. That's what I regret the most, not knowing before that my feelings for you were real, not a lie at all."
"If that's the case, I feel even more grateful to you." Zhaoyi could feel the sincerity implied in the woman's words. "Thank you for being a special person in my heart, Ayi~"
"Shanshan.." Zhaoyi called her name desperately, "Can't I be the special person in your life anymore?"
Nicole who heard the question felt a tremor in her heart, but also pain because the wound was reopened there. "No way." She answered briefly, "Because you don't have my heart anymore. We can never force something that shouldn't be."
Zhaoyi had prepared himself for all sorts of hurtful answers that would come out of Shanshan's mouth, but why did his chest feel so tight and he found it hard to breathe? Was the reason Zhaoyi had lived all this time because of Shanshan? And now that she didn't want him anymore, it felt like there was no reason for him to live at all.
Lowering his head, a bitter smile crept onto Zhaoyi's lips. Now he understood that, although recovery was hard, regret was even harder. "Shanshan..." Zhaoyi called his beloved name again. "Later in your life, if you find that one special person again, you must hold them tightly and never let them go."
Tears flowed down the woman's cheeks when she heard Zhaoyi's hurt voice, as if she could feel it herself even though she didn't see the man's face directly.
"Because that special person, maybe only comes once in a lifetime." He said earnestly, "And when that time comes, I will be happy for you even if I am not a part of your happiness. Because my life is only meaningful if you do what is meaningful to you."
Nicole's hand went up to cover her mouth, the sound of sobbing began to hear and she didn't want Zhaoyi to know. In this vast world, when life is so unpredictable, we never know what will happen next. However, the best things in life are not things. For Shanshan, Wu Zhaoyi is the only name she ever calls even in her dreams.
Behind the anger, there is a feeling of hurt. Behind the regret, there is a painful guilt that will accompany you until death.
"You're going to be okay." Nicole's voice was shaking, but luckily Zhaoyi didn't see it. "Because pain or love makes you real again, Wu Zhaoyi."
***
Ten years ago
"Do you like children?" Shanshan asked the man on the other end of the phone who had not yet returned from Japan, even though the competition had ended. As promised by Wu Zhaoyi, he had won two gold medals, which meant Shanshan had to keep her promise.
"Why? Are you thinking of getting married early?"
"Why? I can't?"
There was a pause from Wu Zhaoyi on the other end, "It doesn't sound bad actually, but it means you have to retire soon." Speaking of the reality that female swimmers have to face when choosing to have children, "Are you ready to give up your dream?"
Shanshan raised one hand and placed it on her own stomach, looking in a dilemma between two choices. "Don't you think it's worth it?"
"Of course it's worth it." Wu Zhaoyi replied confidently, "I've always wanted to have a family early."
"Really?" Shanshan felt the weight on her chest lighten drastically. "What gender do you want?"
"I want a little Shanshan," Zhaoyi replied curtly, hinting that the man wanted a girl.
"So you can train her to be a great swimmer like me?" Shanshan chuckled imagining the future that she never thought would be this fun to talk about with Wu Zhaoyi. Because they rarely talked about anything other than swimming.
"I will make her swim ten times better than you," Without Wu Zhaoyi realizing, a smile spread on his lips imagining the little girl who was as ambitious as Shanshan and also talented as him would be his swimming partner in the future. "How nice, if it really happens soon."
Shanshan laughed, "Why are you in such a hurry?"
"I think when the time comes, I will be the happiest person in the world with you." Zhaoyi said.
"When that time comes, you will be by my side, right?"
"Of course, who else will be by your side besides me?" Wu Zhaoyi answered Shanshan's question confidently, giving the woman assurance.
"Then, what about the name? Do you have a plan yet?" Shanshan started teasing the man, hoping he didn't detect something strange in it.
"I have one," Wu Zhaoyi answered in a low tone. "I want to be named Xing Xing."
"Xing Xing?" Shanshan answered, "Then, Wu Xingxing?"
"No." Zhaoyi answered spontaneously. "Her name is Wu Zhaoxing."
At that time, Shanshan did not expect that the Wu Zhaoxing that Wu Zhaoyi meant was the girl she knew, because the euphoria that enveloped her exceeded her common sense. Shanshan subconsciously answered, something she later regretted.
"Wu Zhaoxing is a good name, let's call her that."
***