I was a cunning girl, a schemer in my own right. I still am but that is off topic. Back in middle school, I harbored a deep crush on a guy who was much older than me, finishing his last year of high school. I was just a kid, but my feelings were intense and real. So, I devised a plan to get close to him: I befriended his younger sister, who was my age, hoping that through her, I could find a way to be nearer to him.
Initially, my scheme seemed to work. I managed to orbit around him, even if it was from a distance. But complications arose when he got a girlfriend, graduated, and moved on with his life. What had started as a calculated move to capture his attention had unexpectedly evolved into a genuine friendship with his sister, Fleur. Over time, I realized that Fleur had become more than just a means to an end; she had become a true friend.
Now, ten years later, I was faced with a dilemma. Should I confess my past deception and risk losing Fleur, or should I walk away, abandoning the friendship that had grown so meaningful to me, just because I still hoped to capture her brother's attention without her help? The choice seemed impossible. On one hand, I could preserve the genuine bond I had with Fleur, but this meant keeping the truth about my initial intentions hidden, which weighed heavily on my conscience. On the other hand, I could revert to my old strategy, but this would come at the cost of losing a best friend who had become irreplaceable.
The stakes were high, and my heart was torn between the love I once felt for someone else and the loyalty I now held for my friend.
It was the last day of college, and Fleur was packing her bags in the dorm room, her movements frantic as she prepared to leave. Dressed in her black graduation robes, she seemed a mix of excitement and relief. Her family was on their way to pick her up, and soon she would be heading home after a long time away.
I watched her with a heavy heart, my mind racing with conflicting emotions. Today was the day I had both anticipated and dreaded. I knew that he would be here too, attending his sister's graduation. It had been over a decade since I first fell for him when I was just twelve years old, and yet the feelings seemed as intense as ever. But now, they were overshadowed by a profound sense of guilt.
I had deceived Fleur, a kind and pure-hearted friend who had trusted me without question. I had used her as a pawn in my scheme to get closer to her brother, and now I was burdened by the weight of my actions. The affection I once felt for him had faded, not because I had moved on to someone else, but because the friendship with Fleur had become so valuable that it overshadowed everything else. I realized that I could no longer pursue my old goal. Fleur's trust and the bond we shared meant more to me than any past infatuation.
I resolved to confess everything to Fleur before she left. Even if it meant losing her, I needed her to know that I had genuinely cherished our friendship and was deeply remorseful for my actions. The weight on my chest was too much to bear any longer. A decade of deception had piled up, suffocating me with its burden. It was time to come clean, especially since we were about to part ways. After graduation, Fleur would be moving to another city, and our paths would diverge for the moment. This was my last chance to lay bare the truth and allow her the decision of whether to forgive me or not.
"Why did I lie to her in the first place?" I thought, feeling my stomach churn uncomfortably and my heart pound heavily. The guilt was overwhelming,
As Fleur continued to pack, seemingly unaware of the storm brewing inside me, I knew I had to act quickly. The truth was a heavy burden, but it was one I had to share, no matter the cost.
I made up my mind to confess everything to Fleur before she left. Even if it meant losing her, I needed her to know that I had genuinely cherished our friendship and was deeply remorseful for my actions. The weight on my chest was too much to bear any longer. A decade of deception had piled up, suffocating me with its burden. It was time to come clean, especially since we were about to part ways. After graduation, Fleur would be moving to another city, and our paths would diverge. This was my last chance to lay bare the truth and allow her the decision of whether to forgive me or not.
"Why are you so awfully quiet?" Fleur's question jolted me from my thoughts. I stared at her, taken aback by her beauty. Her high cheekbones, well-shaped lips—it was as if her face was crafted by a sculptor. I found myself mesmerized, my thoughts drifting to the charm of her family. I couldn't help but admire them, but now was not the time for such distractions.
"Hey!" Fleur's voice cut through my reverie. Her accusation was sharp and direct, pulling me back to the reality of our situation.
"What has gotten into you? Aren't you going to pack?" she asked, clearly perturbed by my silence.
"No, I'm staying here for another week. I have to drop off some CVs," I said, pushing the coconut cookie box off myself and getting off the bed. Fleur continued to pack. The guilt was crushing, and I needed to confess before it was too late.
"What about tonight? Do you have any plans?" Fleur asked, glancing at me with hopeful eyes.
"Huh? Why?" I was confused by her question.
"Mom said if you would like to have dinner with us," Fleur replied, her eyes betraying her desire for me to stay a bit longer. I saw the hope in her eyes and felt a pang of guilt. She was too good a friend for someone like me, and I needed to make things right.
"Fleur, I have to tell you something," I blurted out, feeling the urgency of the moment. The longer I delayed, the harder it would be to confess. I had procrastinated for ten years already.
"What? You look pale. Are you okay?" Fleur asked, concern evident in her voice as she approached me.
I stepped back, not wanting her to show me any more kindness. I wasn't deserving of it. Fleur's expression stiffened at my reaction.
"What was that? Why did you flinch?" she asked, her voice tinged with frustration.
"Fleur, I've been meaning to tell you something." Why was it so difficult to say this? I had said worse things to her over the years, yet now, I could barely form the words.
"Why are you acting like this? Are you sick? Do you want me to take you to the hospital?" she asked, stepping closer to check my temperature. I pulled away again, the frustration clear on her face.
"Maeve, I will smack you if you take one more step backwards!" Fleur shouted, her concern palpable as she placed her hand on my forehead. She checked my temperature and shook her head. "You don't have a fever."
"Fleur, we need to talk about something. I feel awful and think I might die if I don't come clean today," I said, finally taking advantage of the close proximity to confess.
Fleur's brows rose in confusion. "What is it?"
I opened my mouth, but no words came out for a few moments. I felt like a fish out of water, struggling to breathe. Finally, I managed to speak. "Do you remember back in middle school when I sat beside you and asked you to be my friend?"
Fleur's gaze narrowed. "What about that?"
"At that time, I didn't actually want to be friends with you," I said, bracing myself for her reaction.
Fleur shook her head, confusion written all over her face. "What are you saying?"
"At that time, I didn't actually want to be friends with you. I only approached you because I had a crush on your brother!" I blurted out, closing my eyes tightly as if bracing for the impact of my confession.
Fleur's eyes widened, her expression one of shock. "What do you mean by that? Are you saying you were acting all along?"
"Yes," I admitted, feeling a mixture of relief and dread. "I had a crush on your brother and used our friendship to get closer to him."
"You loved my brother and used me?" Fleur repeated slowly, her voice cracking with pain. I lowered my head in defeat.
"I'm sorry, Fleur. I'm really sorry."
"You're telling me this now?" she hissed, her voice trembling with hurt.
My eyes welled up with tears, and I tried to wipe them away. I felt like a complete failure, my tears betraying my attempts to remain composed.
"You still have feelings for him?" Fleur asked softly.
"I would be lying if I said I didn't, but I promise I'll stop. I regret everything I did and shouldn't have become your friend in the first place. I've regretted it for so long. I'm so sorry, Fleur. I was a bad person to you," I said, my voice breaking with emotion.
"Do you regret it?" Fleur asked, her voice strained. "Do you regret becoming friends with me? After all this time, you chose to tell me now, on such a day? When I was already sad that we will be parting?"
"Fleur!" I cried, seeing her on the verge of tears. Her pain made my own guilt even more unbearable. I reached out to comfort her, but she slapped my hand away. I made her cry, Even her toxic Ex didn't hurt her to the point that she would cry but i managed to do it.
"I'm glad I'm moving away. You won't be seeing my face again!" Fleur shouted, her voice filled with anger and heartbreak. She stormed out of the room, leaving me alone with the crushing weight of my regret. I should have followed her right now but my feet were frozen, I was a coward, I couldn't apologise properly and I deserved it but Fleur didn't.