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"Turns out you guys are all little trolls too! Ha ha, me as well..."
***
"Hello... Can you see me? Hear me?" Paimon pointed the phone camera at herself while speaking.
With her puzzled expression, she flew around erratically, almost making viewers dizzy from the shaky live feed.
"I can see you, but stop moving!"
"Huh, I can't hear anything!"
"Yeah, no sound here!"
Noticing multiple comments about the lack of audio, Paimon quickly adjusted the settings and leaned closer to the phone, asking, "Hey, everyone, can you hear me now?"
"Still nothing..."
"Nope, still silent!"
"Oh, let me try again..." Feeling helpless, Paimon paused mid-adjustment, then realized something.
"If you can't hear me, how do you know what I'm saying, hmph!" Paimon pouted, clearly disgruntled.
"Haha, Captain is so adorable!"
"By the way, what kind of creature is our Captain? Flying without wings, impressive..."
"Uh... probably a Slime, maybe an Anemo Slime!"
Holding the phone with one hand, Paimon placed the other on her hip and retorted, "I am Paimon, definitely not some Slime!"
"That's right, Captain! Is this stream aimed at taking down Ji Taimei? I've had enough of him too!"
"What Mondstadt Choir? Never heard of it; they're bringing shame to Mondstadt!"
"Yes, even foreign merchants know about them. Now, we hesitate to admit being from Mondstadt abroad!"
***
Paimon scratched her head, feeling slightly embarrassed. "I... I'm currently in Liyue, mainly to show everyone its customs and traditions!"
"Oh, got it! I thought you were going to take down Ji Taimei's internet presence!"
"Disappointing, but here's a small gift for you, Captain!"
***
"Hehe, can you guess what I'm doing right now?" Paimon pointed the camera at a large cauldron within a Hilichurl camp and asked with a grin.
"Are you eating Hilichurls?! That's not okay!"
"Yeah, broadcaster, please don't do that..."
Paimon quickly waved her hands. "No, no, no! I wouldn't eat Hilichurls. Instead, I'm having Sweet Madame Chicken, hee-hee!"
"What, chicken? Did little troll cook some chicken feet?"
"Our Ji-ge is too good; from now on, let's avoid eating eggs laid by him!"
"As a neutral viewer, even I can't bear this anymore. What has she done...?"
"It seems like I'm the only true fan of Ji-ge. She's truly remarkable!"
Watching the audience she had nurtured grow, Paimon couldn't help but smile happily.
Then, she discreetly leaned closer to the phone and whispered softly, "Let me secretly tell you all, we're here for Rex Lapis' funeral in Liyue."
"So why are you guys here? What's the purpose of that huge pot? Is it 'Stewing the Emperor,' turning everyone into immortals?"
"Uh, is this really appropriate to broadcast?" Paimon scratched her head, puzzled. Could they truly be cooking the Emperor?
Observing Paimon talking to herself, Zhongli felt suddenly perplexed. Did she also suffer from Xiao's peculiar ailment, perhaps even more severely? After all, Xiao only occasionally spoke aloud, while it seemed Paimon's condition was quite advanced!
"Zhongli, how do we select Noctilucous Jade here?" Paimon looked at Zhongli, asking curiously.
"Cook..." Zhongli replied mildly.
"Oh!" Nodding, Paimon hung the phone around her neck.
"Traveler, please clear the nearby monsters for us," Zhongli said softly, addressing Lumine.
"Sure!" Lumine nodded and drew her Dull Blade.
Paimon followed closely behind, filming Lumine's combat scenes.
"The Traveler looks so amazing; why didn't I notice before...?"
"Cough, cough! And what could you have done if you did notice?"
***
In no time, Lumine had driven away all the monsters. Zhongli approached and calmly instructed, "Place three pieces of Noctilucous Jade inside to boil and observe which one glows brightest!"
Meanwhile, Paimon's attention was fixed on a nearby bonfire with Hilichurl-cooked food—apparently, it was Sweet Flower Stew with Slimes! She swiftly flew over, eagerly scooped out the stew, and began devouring it.
"Oh my gosh, our Captain is living so humbly!"
"I can't take this anymore; don't stop me, I'm tipping generously!"
"If even Ji Taimei gets such substantial tips, our Captain deserves no less. We can't let those brainless folks look down on us!"
Unbeknownst to Paimon, her voracious appetite inadvertently earned her numerous tips. Hmm... if she knew, perhaps she'd start munching on grass from the ground instead!
Paimon filled another bowl and offered it to Lumine, but Lumine declined, focused intently on the changes occurring within the pot containing the Noctilucous Jade.
"Would you like some?" Paimon turned to Zhongli, asking.
"No, thank you!" Zhongli shook his head; he wasn't desperate enough to steal food from Hilichurls.
Hearing this, Paimon happily continued eating. Surprisingly, the Hilichurls' cooking skills weren't bad at all!
Soon, they identified the brightest piece of Noctilucous Jade.
***
Hu Tao mindlessly scrolled through her phone; Zhongli, that old fossil, wouldn't even let her handle Rex Lapis's Rite of Parting.
He kept saying she was too young, but wasn't Zhongli himself quite young? Who knows who the real Director is anymore! Hmph!
However, rumor had it that many expenses incurred during the Rite of Parting would not be reimbursed by the Ministry of Civil Affairs. So, Hu Tao decided to stop pestering them relentlessly—the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor's funds weren't infinite either.
Besides, despite praying to Rex Lapis for better business, nothing seemed to change.
When Zhongli mentioned he had support from influential connections, Hu Tao let him take charge. As long as the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor didn't have to bear the costs, she was fine with it.
Hu Tao opened a live stream app, hoping to find some innovative ideas while browsing videos. Unexpectedly, she stumbled upon Paimon's stream, which had a large audience.
"Huh, what are they doing?" Hu Tao watched as Zhongli and Lumine appeared to be cooking something together.
"Are Hilichurls' pots really better for cooking? I should give it a try next time," Hu Tao muttered to herself. Despite following Xiangling's exact steps, her meals never quite tasted as good.
As she scrolled through the bizarre comments in the chat, confusion set in. Why did they make sense individually but not when combined?
After extensive research, Hu Tao reached a conclusion: In Mondstadt, there was a basketball trainee named Susan who ate some flavored fried fish and subsequently grew black chicken feet.
"Hmm... Mondstadters sure are peculiar. But can this hallmaster start streaming?" After a moment's hesitation, Hu Tao decided to venture into live streaming.
In this rapidly advancing era, Hu Tao wasn't like Zhongli, an old relic; she understood the importance of keeping up with the times.
"Fueled by boundless energy, my heart soars like an eagle! Feeling incredibly confident!" With a mischievous grin, Hu Tao opened MiHoYo Live.