Luan Xie couldn't stop thinking about He Shun's words, but they unsettled him in ways he didn't want to admit. Trust wasn't something that came naturally to him. It had been burned out of him long ago, leaving him with nothing but doubt and suspicion. And He Shun, with his easy smiles and kind eyes, was too good to be true. He had known the actor for only a few days, and already He Shun was saying things that made Luan Xie's defenses waver. That scared him more than he'd care to admit.
Luan Xie didn't want to trust him, didn't want to believe in the possibility of something real between them. He had been betrayed too many times by people who promised him the world, only to rip it away when he let his guard down. And He Shun, with his perfect words and gentle touch, could be no different. Wasn't he an actor after all? Someone who could make you believe in lies?
But then, why did it feel different with him? Why did Luan Xie find himself drawn to He Shun in ways that made no sense? He hated that he felt this pull, this irrational hope that maybe, for once, someone wasn't trying to use him, that someone could care about him for who he was. But that was a dangerous thought, a naïve one, and Luan Xie wasn't naïve. He had survived too much to let himself be fooled again.
He couldn't bring himself to trust He Shun enough to open up completely. Every time he thought about it, a voice in the back of his mind warned him to keep his distance, to remember that people were always hiding something, always waiting for the right moment to strike. And yet, that same voice was drowned out by the memory of He Shun's touch, the warmth in his eyes, the way he seemed so…genuine.
But how could he trust that? Luan Xie was all too aware of his own flaws, of the darkness inside him that made it hard to believe in anyone or anything. He was a survivor, yes, but survival had come at a cost. It had made him hard, cynical, always expecting the worst from people. And wasn't that what he had done to He Shun when they first met? Judged him, dismissed him, almost hurt him because he couldn't believe anyone could be as kind as he seemed.
Luan Xie shook his head, trying to push away the turmoil that was rising within him. He didn't want to feel this way, didn't want to care about what He Shun thought or felt. He had a mission, a purpose, and getting close to anyone—especially someone like He Shun—would only complicate things.
But no matter how hard he tried to push it down, the conflict gnawed at him, making him feel more vulnerable than he had in a long time. He wanted to believe He Shun's words, wanted to think that maybe he didn't have to be alone in all this. But the fear of being hurt again, of being betrayed, kept him from taking that step.
He clenched his fists, anger bubbling up at his own weakness, at the way He Shun had gotten under his skin in such a short time. Luan Xie wasn't supposed to feel this way. He wasn't supposed to let anyone in. And yet, here he was, more conflicted than he had ever been, torn between the urge to protect himself and the aching desire to believe that maybe, just maybe, He Shun was different.
And that scared him more than anything.
Luan Xie knew he was seen as a villain, but he also knew that no one is born a monster. Every so-called villain has a story, a history that shaped them into what they are. Luan Xie wasn't any different. Behind the cold eyes and sharp edges, there was a past—one that haunted him, one that had twisted him into the person he had become.
There was a time when he wasn't like this, when he believed in the good in people, when he trusted easily. But life had a way of stripping away those ideals, leaving behind only bitterness and pain. The people he had loved, the ones he had relied on, had turned on him, betrayed him in the worst ways possible. He had learned the hard way that the world was cruel, that trust was a weakness, and that to survive, you had to become harder, colder—untouchable.
Luan Xie had been pushed to the edge, and when he finally broke, there was no going back. He had embraced the darkness, letting it consume him, because it was easier to be the monster than to keep being the victim. It was easier to hurt others before they could hurt him, to wield power rather than be crushed by it.
But deep down, he knew that wasn't the whole truth. There was still a part of him that remembered what it was like to care, to hope, to love. He had buried it so deep that sometimes he could almost forget it existed. Almost. But then someone like He Shun came along, and all those old wounds started to ache again.
He didn't want to feel this way. He didn't want to be reminded of what he had lost, of the person he used to be. But no matter how much he tried to resist, He Shun was getting under his skin, making him feel things he thought he had buried forever.
Luan Xie might be a villain in the eyes of the world, but he knew the truth. He was just a man who had been hurt too many times, who had been pushed too far. He wasn't born this way—life had made him this way. And now, with He Shun standing in front of him, offering a glimpse of something he thought he'd never feel again, Luan Xie didn't know what to do.
He was torn between the person he had become and the person he used to be. Part of him wanted to push He Shun away, to protect himself from the inevitable pain that would come from letting someone in. But another part of him, the part he had tried so hard to kill, was desperate to believe that maybe, just maybe, he could be something other than the villain of this story.
But could he? Or was it too late for that? The fear, the doubt, the anger—they all warred within him, leaving Luan Xie more conflicted than ever. He didn't know if he could trust He Shun, didn't know if he could let himself be vulnerable again. But as much as he tried to deny it, a small, fragile hope was starting to grow inside him, and that scared him more than anything else.
Because hope was dangerous. It was the thing that had broken him in the first place, and he wasn't sure he could survive being broken again.