He Shun had been searching everywhere, his worry growing with each passing moment. He had checked the room, the dining hall, even the lobby, but Luan Xie was nowhere to be found. A creeping sense of unease gnawed at him until, finally, he spotted a familiar figure outside, sitting alone.
Luan Xie was perched on a stone bench, his back to the world, as the cold breeze swirled around him. The sunlight bathed him in a soft, golden light, almost making him look serene, but He Shun could see the tension in his shoulders, the way his hands were clenched in his lap.
He Shun approached slowly, not wanting to startle him. He could tell Luan Xie was lost in thought, the kind of deep, troubled contemplation that made everything else fade away. For a moment, He Shun just stood there, taking in the sight of him, the way the sunlight caught the edges of his hair, the way his breath misted in the cool air.
"Luan Xie," He Shun finally called out softly, stepping closer. Luan Xie didn't turn around immediately, but He Shun could see him tense slightly, like he had been pulled out of whatever world he was lost in.
When Luan Xie finally turned to face him, He Shun could see the turmoil in his eyes, the way his usual guarded expression was cracked just enough to let a bit of vulnerability show. It was a rare sight, one that made He Shun's chest tighten with a mix of concern and something else—something deeper that he was still trying to figure out.
"Why are you out here?" He Shun asked gently, moving to sit beside him. The cold bench pressed against his legs, but he didn't care. All his focus was on Luan Xie, on the way the other man's gaze drifted back to the horizon.
"Just needed some air," Luan Xie replied, his voice quieter than usual. He didn't say anything more, but the unspoken words hung between them, thick and heavy.
He Shun hesitated for a moment before reaching out, his hand covering Luan Xie's where it rested on the bench. The touch was light, hesitant, but he didn't pull away. "You don't have to go through this alone. Talk to me," he said softly, his thumb brushing against Luan Xie's knuckles.
Luan Xie glanced down at their hands, a conflicted look passing over his face. For a moment, He Shun thought he might pull away, put up those walls again, but instead, Luan Xie surprised him. He didn't say anything, but his fingers slowly curled around He Shun's, holding on as if that simple connection was something he desperately needed but couldn't ask for.
The two of them sat there in silence, the cold breeze continuing to sweep past them, but it didn't feel as biting with Luan Xie's hand in his. The warmth of the sun seemed to wrap around them, but even more so, the warmth of their quiet understanding settled between them.
Luan Xie's voice broke the silence, low and filled with a weight that made He Shun's heart ache. "I am not the monstrous villain everyone thinks I am," he said, his gaze fixed on the horizon. "I wasn't always like this."
He Shun stayed quiet, his hand still gently holding Luan Xie's, letting him speak at his own pace. He could hear the struggle in Luan Xie's voice, the way he seemed to be wrestling with the words, as if they were heavy stones he was trying to lift out of the depths.
"There was a time," Luan Xie continued, his voice softening, "when I believed in things like hope and love. When I thought the world wasn't such a cruel place." He let out a bitter laugh, but it was devoid of any real humor. "But life has a way of beating those things out of you, of showing you just how naive you were to believe in them in the first place."
He Shun squeezed his hand gently, urging him to go on without pushing him. He could see how hard this was for Luan Xie, how much pain was hidden behind those words.
"I lost everything," Luan Xie said, his voice growing quieter, almost as if he was afraid of saying it out loud. "The people I trusted, the ones I cared about—they all turned on me. Betrayed me in ways I never thought possible. And when you've been hurt like that, you learn to stop trusting. You learn to harden yourself, to become someone who can't be hurt again."
He Shun's heart broke a little more with every word. He could see the pain etched into Luan Xie's features, the hurt that he had been carrying for so long. He wanted to say something, to comfort him, but he knew that right now, Luan Xie just needed to be heard.
"I became what they made me," Luan Xie admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "A villain. A monster. Because it was easier to be that than to keep getting hurt, to keep feeling like the world was crushing me under its weight."
He finally looked at He Shun, his eyes full of a sorrow that seemed endless. "But I'm not that person—not really. I'm just someone who's been broken too many times, who's been pushed too far."
He Shun could see the conflict in Luan Xie's eyes, the war between the man he used to be and the one he had become. Without thinking, he leaned in closer, his free hand reaching up to cup Luan Xie's cheek. "You're not a monster, Luan Xie," he said softly, his voice full of conviction. "You're just… human. Like the rest of us."
Luan Xie looked at him, searching his face for any sign of deception, but all he saw was sincerity. And for the first time in a long time, he felt a glimmer of something he thought he had lost forever—a flicker of hope.
He Shun's thumb gently stroked his cheek, the touch grounding him, pulling him out of the darkness he had been living in for so long. "You don't have to be alone in this," He Shun whispered, his voice filled with a tenderness that made Luan Xie's heart ache. "I'm here. And I want to be here for you, if you'll let me."
Luan Xie didn't respond right away. He just closed his eyes, leaning into He Shun's touch, letting himself feel the warmth of it, the comfort that he had been denying himself for so long. And in that moment, he allowed himself to believe that maybe, just maybe, he didn't have to be the villain in this story. Not anymore.
Luan Xie's voice carried a bitter edge as he spoke, his eyes distant as if he was seeing someone far away, lost in the past. "I had loved someone once," he began, the words coming out slowly, each one laced with pain. "It was a man—the biggest mistake of my life."
He chuckled, but it was a hollow sound, devoid of any real amusement. "Ye Rou, that was his name."
He Shun listened quietly, his heart heavy with the weight of what Luan Xie was revealing. He could see the way the memories seemed to haunt Luan Xie, the way his eyes darkened with the mention of Ye Rou's name.
"I was young and foolish," Luan Xie continued, his voice barely above a whisper. "I thought… I thought he was everything. That our love could withstand anything. But I was wrong. So very wrong."
He looked down at his hands, his fingers clenching and unclenching as if he was trying to grasp something that kept slipping away. "Ye Rou wasn't who I thought he was. He was… cruel, manipulative. He made me believe in something beautiful, only to tear it apart, piece by piece."
He Shun reached out, his hand covering Luan Xie's, trying to offer some comfort, even if it was small. "What happened?" he asked gently, not wanting to push too hard but needing to understand.
Luan Xie's eyes met his, and for a moment, He Shun saw a flicker of the pain that was usually so well-hidden behind his guarded expression. "He betrayed me," Luan Xie said, his voice trembling slightly. "He used my love for him against me, twisted it into something dark and ugly. And when he was done with me, he left—just like that."
The bitterness in Luan Xie's voice was palpable, but beneath it, He Shun could hear the hurt, the deep wounds that had never really healed. "I became… this," Luan Xie gestured to himself, as if he couldn't bear to say it out loud. "I became the monster he wanted me to be. Because it was easier than facing the truth—that I was nothing to him."
He Shun's grip on Luan Xie's hand tightened, his heart aching for the man beside him. "You're not nothing, Luan Xie," he said softly, his voice full of emotion. "You're more than what he made you feel. You're more than the pain he left behind."
Luan Xie's eyes searched He Shun's face, as if looking for any sign of dishonesty, but all he found was sincerity, a genuine concern that made his defenses falter, even if just a little.
"I'm not sure I know how to be anything else," Luan Xie admitted, his voice barely audible, as if the words themselves were too difficult to say.
He Shun moved closer, his other hand coming up to gently cup Luan Xie's face, turning it so their eyes met. "You don't have to figure it out alone," he whispered, his thumb brushing tenderly over Luan Xie's cheek. "I'm here. I want to help you, if you'll let me."
For a long moment, Luan Xie just stared at him, as if he couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. And then, slowly, he leaned into He Shun's touch, closing his eyes as if he was letting himself feel something he had been denying for too long.
It was a small step, a tiny crack in the walls he had built so high, but it was enough. Enough for now. Enough to let Luan Xie believe that maybe, just maybe, he could find something real again, something that wasn't tainted by the past.
And in that quiet moment, with the sun warming their skin and the cold breeze brushing past them, Luan Xie allowed himself to hope.