Chereads / Am I Deadpool??? / Chapter 11 - Bear Grylls? More like Bear Grill!!!

Chapter 11 - Bear Grylls? More like Bear Grill!!!

As the first light of dawn crept into the cave, Wade blinked awake, stretching his arms and yawning loudly. Ken and Laura were still asleep, their small forms tucked against his side for warmth and the wolves is somehow had managed to also curled up near them and cuddled with them in cave, forming a circle of wolves cuddles. Wade gazed at their peaceful faces, a soft smile playing on his lips. Despite everything, they were safe.

Rise and shine, fucker! Sun's up!

(Time to start the day! Oh, I love how the three of you cuddle, really cute! I wish I had camera! Thank you kind commenters who make this scene possible!)

Wade carefully disentangled himself from his siblings, ensuring they remained warm beneath his jacket. He crept to the cave entrance, peering out to see the wolves some of the wolves who already awake, their eyes watching him with a quiet curiosity.

"Morning, furballs," Wade greeted with a grin. "I hope you motherfuckers had a good night."

Ask the wolves about where to find the nearest road. Maybe they knew something.

(Don't get your hopes up tho! Maybe try to ask deer or a moose? Them fuckers tend to get lost in the middle of the road!)

Wade squatted down and faced the gray wolf that had led them to the cave. "Hey, Lassie, think you could help us find a road or something? We kinda need to get moving."

The wolf tilted her head, as if considering his request, then barked softly, trotting a few steps away before looking back at him.

Still don't know how we somewhat knew what they're saying and how they understand us.

(Hey, dogs are smarter than people give them credit for.)

Wade gave a thumbs-up. "Alright, pack! Lassie's got us covered!"

Ken stirred at Wade's voice, rubbing his eyes as he sat up. "Where are we going?"

"We're gonna follow our new friend here," Wade explained, gesturing to the gray wolf. "She might know where the nearest road is. Let's pack up and roll out."

Ken nodded, his sleepy eyes lighting up with excitement. Laura was already awake, watching Wade with curiosity.

They quickly packed up their makeshift camp, Wade ensuring they left nothing behind. He helped Ken and Laura bundle up in their jackets, then they set out, following the gray wolf through the deep forest.

You finally turn down your ego and ask for directions, huh?

(I still wanted to ask a moose tho)

Weeks passed as Wade, Ken and Laura followed the pack of wolves. They continued their trek through the snowy wilderness. They had become adept at surviving in the harsh conditions, thanks to their new allies and Wade's-although questionable-survival skills.

(Ohh, the author got lazy again, time-skipping anywhere he wanted!)

I guess the fucker grown tired of this arc, ever since a little comment's said about how this forest is about 16.7 million acres.

(I know! He's been crying since while looking at a google maps about the best tracks they gonna have to take!)

"For a high on drugs's guy he pretty consistent about realism in this story." Mused Wade. Well, it added to his advantaged afterall.

The forest was a seemingly endless expanse of white, its icy grip a constant reminder of their precarious situation. Wade had taken to hunting with his claws and katana, attempting to keep mastering his fighting style. He also been teaching his sibling on how to small animal throughout their journey.

"Alright, pack," Wade announced, his breath visible in the freezing air. "Today's mission: find food. And, if we're lucky, avoid any more surprises that might involve deadly wildlife."

Ken looked up, eyes wide with excitement. "What are we hunting today?"

Wade held up a handmade spear, grinning. "We're aiming for some nice, juicy deer or maybe a rabbit steak. Umm UMM!!! Just imagine it!" Wade's mouth just full of water having just imagining it.

Laura giggled, her earlier fears and anxiety had replaced by a sense of adventure. The wolves, now an integral part of their group, led the way as they ventured deeper into the forest.

Wade was in his element, making exaggerated, stealthy movements that seemed more comical than tactical with both Laura and Ken trying to imitated him from behind. The wolves, however, were all business, their noses twitching as they sniffed the air.

(Seriously, it's like being in a nature documentary, but with a fuckers who wrong in his head trying to sneak around!)

And less David Attenborough and more cuteness!

After a while, they finally spotted a deer grazing in the distance and prepared to make their move.

Just as Wade was about to strike, the ground beneath them rumbled. A low, menacing roar echoed through the trees, causing Wade to stop in his tracks.

"Whoa, did you guys hear that?" Wade asked, his eyes scanning the forest. "That's definitely not the sound of a hungry rabbit or dear…"

The wolves bristled, their ears perked up as they looked around. The roar came again, closer this time, and Wade's playful demeanor shifted to one of cautious alertness.

From between the trees, a comically huge polar bear barreled into view. Its fur was an exaggeratedly pure white, and its size was almost cartoonishly enormous. The bear let out a roar that shook the snow from the trees, and it charged with a surprising speed and aggression.

"OH FUCCK!!! IS THAT A FUCKING HUGE ICE BEAR!?!?!?" Wade's eyes widened as he took in the sight. "How the hell a fucking polar bear ended up in the middle of a forest? I thought we were miles from its habitat in the artics! With ICE! What kind of plot twist it is? Is the Author out there trying to torment me???"

Oohh, you gonna get fucked by that guy! RIP.

(OHHH FUCCKKK!!! Eh, wait isn't Ice bear mostly chills tho? He always seems chills with Panda and Grizzly?)

"That's from otherly different fucking shows, YOU MORON!!! Do we look like we are in the We Bare Bear show right now?

(Eh, maybe we could ask him? We kinda knew how to talk to animals now right? Maybe we could get a hug or two? He looks so fluffy!)

"Eh, worth a try!" Wade somewhat agreed. "OI Ice Bear! We came in peac-"

Before Wade could finish his speak, the bear roared right in front his face.

Yeah, a hug alright…

(Dead by bears didn't sound really bad now, ngl!)

Ken's face turned pale, and Laura clung to him, her eyes wide with fear. Wade drew his katana and claws, ready for the unexpected fight.

"Well, not the friendly chills Ice bear then, Laura, Ken, RUUUUUNNNN!!!!" Wade screams as he get ready to launch himself at the bear.

The polar bear roared again, its breath forming frosty clouds in the cold air. It lunged at Wade, its huge paws swiping with brutal force. Wade dodged and retaliated, slashing with his claws, but the bear's size and strength made it a formidable opponent.

Wade's taunts continued as he fought, his voice filled with a mix of bravado and disbelief. "Alright, big guy! Did you take a wrong turn from the Arctic? We Bare Bear Studios in that corner right there!"

The wolves also sprang into action, surrounding the bear and attempting to distract it to help Wade. They snapped and barked, trying to draw the bear's attention away from Wade and his siblings. However, the bear's sheer size and strength overwhelmed them. With powerful swipes of its massive paws, the bear sent several wolves flying, leaving them incapacitated and struggling to recover.

Well, there go the wolves.

"Hey, watch out!" Wade shouted, seeing the wolves get tossed aside. "Dammit, this bear's not playing around! Laura, Ken! Get away from here!"

The bear's massive claws swiped across Wade's torso, sending him crashing into a snowbank. The impact was jarring, and Wade let out a pained groan as he struggled to get back up. The bear seemed to have a vendetta with, clearly intent on making this fight as difficult as possible.

(And there go Wade.)

"Ouch, are you Sabertooth pet or something, why so much hate dude!" Wade said struggled to back up.

Laura and Ken, despite their fear, jumped into action. Laura's claws extended with a determined glint in her eye, while Ken followed suit, his youthful energy adding a fierce edge to their combined attack. They worked together, leaping at the bear's legs and flanks, trying to distract it and buy Wade some time.

Wade, seeing his siblings in action, grinned through the pain as he stood up. "Good job, guys! Show this bear who's boss!"

The fight was intense and chaotic. Wade, Laura, and Ken fought with all their might, their movements a mix of desperation and skill. Some of the wolves are able to get up and joined to attack, but they were quickly overwhelmed by the bear's onslaught.

Huh to think that some of the wolves still alive. They are pretty durable!

(LASSIE IS ALIVEEEE!!!!)

Finally, with a coordinated effort, Laura and Ken managed to distract the bear long enough for Wade to land a decisive blow. Wade slashed with his katana, and Laura and Ken's claws found their mark, causing the bear to roar in agony before collapsing into the snow.

Finally.

(I still wanted to hug the bear, can we hug the bear?)

The bear's enormous body finally lay still, and Wade panted heavily, surveying the scene with a mixture of triumph and relief. "Well, that was something. And not exactly the steak I had in mind, but hey, it's protein!"

Laura and Ken, their faces flushed with the thrill of victory, looked at the bear with eager anticipation. They had been hoping of a more traditional hunt, but this bear was a welcome surprise.

"I want some bear steak!" Ken declared, his eyes gleaming.

Laura just nodded enthusiastically, her excitement palpable in her eyes and watery mouth.

Wade chuckled, shaking his head. "Alright, alright. We'll make a feast out of this. But next time we'll try to hunt something less... gigantic."

I think the author is done with this arc.

(Yeah, I don't think we gonna fight any bear again soon, Sabertooth tho, probably?)

As they started to prepare the bear, Wade muttered under his breath, "Seriously though, is it some kind of cosmic joke that there's a polar bear wandering around in the middle of a forest? I bet the author's just throwing in random plot twists for kicks."

The wolves watched with interest, their eyes reflecting the firelight as they waited for their share. Wade and the kids worked together to turn the bear meat into a meal.

As the night wore on, the fire crackled warmly, and the scent of roasting meat filled the cave. Wade and his siblings enjoyed their meal, their earlier reluctance forgotten in the face of their hunger and excitement.

A week after their confrontation with the bear, Lassie suddenly paused, sniffing the air and wagging her tail. Wade squinted ahead, noticing the faint outline of a road cutting through the trees.

"Whoa, nice work, Lassie!" Wade exclaimed, patting the wolf's head. "You actually did it!"

(See? Lassie is the best girl!!! Yes you are!!!)

Who knew we'd be actually relying on a wolf to navigate?

Wade led Ken and Laura to the road, checking both directions. It was deserted, the asphalt barely visible beneath a layer of snow. Still, it was a promising sign—a path leading them back to civilization.

"We did it," Wade said, a note of triumph in his voice. "Now we just need to hitch a ride or find some wheels."

As they debated their next move, the wolves lingered at the edge of the forest, their eyes fixed on Wade and the children. It was as if they understood this was where they parted ways.

Wade turned back to the wolves, a hint of sadness in his eyes. "Guess this is goodbye, huh?"

(Weirdly gonna miss these guys.)

They've been good to us. Maybe we'll see them again someday.

Ken stepped forward, giving the gray wolf a hug. "Bye, Lassie!!!"

Laura followed suit, her small hand gently patting the wolf's head after she gave each wolves a heartfelt hug. The wolves nuzzled her cheek in response, a soft whine escaping their throat.

With a final nod, Wade saluted the pack. "Take care of each other, alright?"

The wolves gathered around, their eyes reflecting the sadness of the moment. The Lassie the gray wolf looked at them with a sense of understanding and farewell.

The wolves watched as Wade, Ken, and Laura turned their attention to the road, setting off with renewed determination. The sun was rising higher now, casting a warm glow over the landscape.

The wolves let out a mournful howls, a final goodbye that echoed through the forest. The trio walked down the road, their hearts heavy.

"WE LOVE YOU LASSIE!!! WE LOVE YOU OTHER WOLF!!! TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER!!! AWOOOOO!!!" Their back suddenly facing at the wolves as the trio howling and cried at the wolves pack that they always thought as family.

(BYE LASSIEEE!!! YOU'LL ALWAYS BE THE GOODEST GIRL!!!)

This is absurd and heartfelt at the same time. No! I am not crying you bastard!!!

A short distance down the road, they heard the rumble of an engine. Wade spun around, spotting a truck approaching from the distance. He waved his arms energetically, hoping to catch the driver's attention.

"Okay, kiddos," Wade said, walking between Ken and Laura. "Time to put those thumbs to work and find us a ride!"

Ken and Laura mimicked him, their thumbs sticking out as they walked along the road. They giggled at the absurdity of their brother antic trying to hitch the road

The truck slowed to a stop beside them, the driver rolling down the window. He was a grizzled man with kind eyes, his face weathered from years of working in the harsh Alaskan environment.

"Need a lift?" the driver asked, his voice gruff but friendly.

"Do we ever!" Wade replied, grinning from ear to ear. "We're trying to get to umm, Laughlin City, Alberta but got lost and somehow we ended up here." Wade said lying his ass up.

"Laughlin City? That's long way home, boy! You are lucky that my route went trough there!"

(Finally, a stroke of luck!)

Yeah, we might just make it out of this yet.

The driver chuckled, then opened up the truck's door.. "Hop in. I'm heading that way. Name's Joe, by the way."

"Thanks, Joe! You're a lifesaver," Wade said, helping Ken and Laura climb into the truck before joining them.

As the truck rumbled down the road, Wade leaned back against the windows, enjoying the ride. Ken and Laura huddled close, their eyes wide with curiosity as the world sped by.

"Thanks for picking us up, Joe," Wade called over the wind. "You're a real hero."

Joe laughed, glancing back at them. "No problem, kid. You're lucky I came along. Not many folks travel this road this time of year."

Why I do feel this guy is up to no good?

(I mean he did pick up a bunch of kids with no questions asked about our parents!)