I was quite relieved when I reached the airport and thankful that Marceau wasn't the driver who brought me there. It would be difficult to explain things with him once he started prying.
I started pulling my Louis Vuitton trolley bag and headed for the counter, good thing international airports has english sign boards.
Ignoring the stares I got from the people who thought I was a freak who wore a huge sunglasses that covered almost half of my face at night, I immediately fell in line.
When it was my turn, the ticketing officer stared at me for a while. She must have noticed I tried to control myself not to cry infront of her.
"It's your lucky day, madame", she said, with perfect english and without a trace of a french accent.
"E-excuse me?", I said in a croaked voice.
"As our chance and last passenger, I'm going to give you a good seat. You're going to be in first class. You don't have to pay for the upgrade", she smiled widely at me.
God I must look so pitiful for her to offer me that.
"Thank you", I said, sniffed and wiped my tears with my gloved hand. At least she gave me a bit of a privacy when I was seated there.
The hotel management informed me that they were only able to book a flight for me in the economy section for most of the flights were full due to the fact that a storm was coming to the city by tomorrow. I couldn't fly with Eric's private plane for he was the one who flew us here, and I didn't want to see him.
"Madame, is there anything else I can help you with?"
I was pressed out from my reverie.
"No, thank you", I reached over and grasped her hand, "You've helped enough", I smiled sadly at her, took my passport and boarding pass.
And as I was boarding the plane, it felt like I left my heart in Paris.
━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━
When I reached his house, I immediately went to the bedroom and started gathering my old stuff back.
I left the hotel without a note.
I made up my mind.
I'm leaving him.
He lied to me. I couldn't trust him.
And I wasn't...
I wasn't the woman of his dreams.
I left the phone he gave me at the hotel and some of the things I bought in my haste to get back here.
By now he must have known I flew home without him, he must be in the hotel already. He must had seen the mess I left there.
He couldn't fly his private plane because of the storm, thank God for that, he was stuck there. That gave me ample time to leave.
The phone in our bedroom kept blaring. I didn't answer and ignored it.
When my ears started ringing, I pulled the plug off and continued gathering my old clothes. The clothes that I brought with me when I first came into his house.
He might be calling to confront me about ruining the painting he made of his precious Portia.
I cried while I removed the engagement and wedding rings he gave me from my finger.
This wasn't a marriage of love but a marriage in a consented blackmail.
He forced me and I let him.
I wouldn't deny it any longer and I wouldn't lie anymore. The reason why I married him was because I loved him.
I knew I could find another job even when they laid me off, but something stopped me.
Because deep my heart I wanted him to own me.
My heart, my body, my soul, my all.
I gave him everything. Every part of my being but I wasn't good enough.
And the paintings?
I guessed he just said it was me so I would stop prying. I would stop questioning him.
I am such a fool.
A fool for him.
However, I wasn't not a fool anymore.
I give up.
I was reaching for him but my arms weren't long enough for Portia caught him before I did.
━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━
As I was going down the stairs, the doorbell was ringing incessantly.
I frowned and hurriedly walked towards it.
I was surprise to see him there.
"Hello Nic", he said, his hands on his pants pocket. His large frame blocking my view of outside.
I swallowed.
"W-what are you doing here?"
"Eric asked us to come and check on you", Shawn pointed at his car with his thumb and I saw Tori leaning there, and she waved at me.
"It's past two A.M.", I said in a weak voice.
Seeing her there made me feel overwhelmed. Here was an ally when I needed one most.
"Hey, don't get any ideas", Tori walked towards us, "We went to a business party."
That was when I noticed she wore a cocktail dress and Shawn wore an evening suit.
"Oh, I'm sorry", I started to explain and then started sobbing. "I- I..."
Tori hugged me right away before I fell on my knees and I broke down in tears.
I started wailing and we sat down right there infront of a worried Shawn and the door.
We stayed on the floor for half an hour. Tori's arms wrapped around me, assured me that I wasn't alone in this dilemma but she didn't ask me anything. She just stayed there, consoled me and rubbed my back as I cried my heart out while Shawn observed us.
When finally I gathered my thoughts, I asked them pleadingly.
"Take me home now, please."
Tori nodded.
As Shawn drove off, I turned my head around, watched his house disappear from my vision.
I hoped to see him standing there by the door.
Wishful thinking and dreaming.
That he was there to stop me from leaving.
━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━
Two days after leaving Eric's house and staying in my old apartment with Tori, I went back to work.
Eric tried not to call me anymore and that made me realize that parting with him was what he wanted from me.
I should have thought of that before, that the reason why he doesn't spend much of his time with me was because at last, he had his beloved Portia back.
Understanding and analyzing everything that happened between us, I was still grateful I met him. Atleast I had known him even for a little while.
I hadn't cried since I left his house and I was thankful for being busy at work. It made me numb inside and let me forget what happened.
The nights were the hardest to come by because I missed him terribly but two glasses of warm milk, especially prepared by my little sis helped me slept faster.
"Nic, room 3 is in need of dialysis. Can you please call Anu so she can start priming? It's stat", Jodel informed me.
We had 4 emergency admissions in the Trauma Unit and two of our staff were indisposed. Though I was in charge of the narcotics, I helped them out on bedside tasks, too.
"I can do that, I finished counting these for you", I handed her the list of equipments for endorsement later.
"Thank God", Jodel took a deep breath. "What would I do without you?"
"A cup of hot choco will do. That's all I want as payment for my services".
Jodel laughed. She knew my weakness.
"Done deal."
"Thank you", I smiled then turn around. "I'm going to prep things for HD now."
As I took my first step, I suddenly became dizzy. I placed my right hand on the wall to steady myself but my eyes rolled back and the last thing I heard was Jodel calling out my name.
━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━
I woke up with a headache.
"She's coming around", I heard someone from across the room said.
"Nicolaa?", Jodel asked. Her voice full of worry.
I slowly opened my eyes and blinked rapidly.
"W-what happened?", I asked in a weak voice.
"You fainted", Jodel rubbed my left forearm. "You got a slight bump here", she pointed on my left temporal area. "I was able to catch you but your head hit the wall. Are you okay now?"
"I-I'm fine", I answered and sat up as they assisted me.
"I told you, you have to eat. Now look what happened to you?", Leena, our cleaner reprimanded me.
I smiled for I realized most of the ICU staff were there.
"I ate, Monihar saw me."
"Ya sure, but you only ate a piece of that toasted bread Randy offered us", Monihar, looked cranky but smiling.
"Don't starve yourself, okay?", Anu stated, "I already started the dialysis so you don't have to worry about it."
"Thank you, guys", I smiled at them all, sincerely thanking them.
"How's our patient?", Mina asked. She just had her baby two months ago and came back to work afterwards.
"GCS 15 over 15, E4V5M6", Jodel said that everyone in that room laughed.
Mina grinned, sitting down beside me.
"I retrieved your lab results. All your blood samples are within normal limits except for your glucose which was a bit high, 124 but still it will do. You're not diabetic."
I frowned, if my blood glucose result was like that then it doesn't mean I fainted due to low blood sugar.
"Nic?", Mina excitedly called me out. She and Jodel held my hands.
"What? What's wrong?", I asked nervously.
"Nic", Mina took a deep breath. "You're going to be a mommy."
"Huh?", I asked subconsciously. Trying to process in my brain what she just said.
Everyone in the room applauded.
"You're pregnant!", Jodel grinned. "Your pregnancy blood test showed positive but if you want to find out for yourself, I prep this so you can confirm it thru urine test", Jodel showed me the specimen bottle she took from her pocket.
"I called Tori and told her what happened. She wanted to come here but I assured her you'll be fine", Mina grinned.
"Wait! Mina, did you tell Eric?"
"No, I don't know Eric's phone number", she smiled. "And besides, it's not my place. It should be you who should tell him."
I nodded.
"Congratulations!", Jodel hugged me.
"Group hug, group hug!", Monihar.
"Hey! You're suffocating her!", Leena.
"Make sure I'm one of your baby's godmother!", Any declared.
"Of course you are, so am I", Jodel.
"All of us!", Mina seconded.
"Guys! Guys! Let's get back to work now. The supervisor might check in on us", Randy, who just came back from checking on his dying patient.
"Sour puss!", Leena.
"Pea-brained!", Monihar.
"You ruined the moment dude!", Anu.
Randy pouted and scratched his head, "I'm sorry."
And everyone laughed.
━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━
After everyone went out on their business, I was left alone with Mina who chose to stay for a little while with me but was seated in a chair by the wall reading a magazine.
"A baby? I'm going to be a mom?", I smiled, rubbed my tummy. I spoke to myself actually but she heard me.
"Yes Nic, you are", she gave me a quick smile.
"Isn't that what you wanted?"
I bit my lower lip and nodded.
I sighed and lied down.
My brain started to fight with my heart again.
Oh my, why now?
Not when I made up my mind of wanting to leave him.
Not when the truth of him loving another woman clouded my judgement.
What will happen once he would find out?
I couldn't let him stay married with me just because we were having a baby.
I couldn't let him sacrifice his happiness and himself.
I couldn't do that to him.
Could I?
Oh God, please help me find the answers.
"Nic, what's wrong?", Mina walked towards me. I wasn't aware she heard me sobbing.
I sat up and hugged her tight.
Crying out loud, "The baby may be all I have left."