"Mama! Kuya!" I shouted immediately while running towards them whose currently on the front door. Nararamdaman ko na ang aking mga mata na unti-unting lumuluha.
Nang makarating ako sa kanilang harapan ay agad ko silang niyakap. My sobs started on getting louder, feeling helpless. Seeing someone leave without knowing what to do to stop them is the worst feeling ever.
Makalipas ang isang minutong pag-iyakan namin ni mama. My mother's eye are now swollen and puffy, while my brother's eyes were bloodshot as he stops himself from crying.
"A-Ano po bang nangyayari? Bakit may dala kayong maleta?" tanong ko habang pinipigilang pumiyok. My mother kisses my nose and my older brother kisses my forehead. I just closed my eyes and feel their affection towards me.
When I opened my eyes, I see my mom hiding her face on the shoulders of my older brother. Medyo may kataasan kasi ang kuya. He looks down at me and pulled me towards his another side. My eyebrows furrowed when I didn't saw my father here with us.
Tumingala ulit ako kay kuya. "Nasaan si Papa?"
He lets out a sigh and he suddenly nudges our mother but she shook her head, indicating that she doesn't want to tell me herself. Cai sighs and coughs slightly, stopping himself from crying.
"About that; I think we need to sit on the living room," he said, his voice lightly quivering.
With that, we each took our seat on the living room while the maids started on serving us some warm tea. None of us touched it though, for my mother was wiping her tears by using a tissue as Cai sat there in front of me, eyes full of sadness and worry.
"Ano na?" I eagerly asks, my mother started crying even more. Cai sighs and leans back on his seat.
"Mother and father, divorced. You'll be with Dad, while I'm going to be with Mom." Sabi nito. My world stops at what he said.
"Divorce? Bakit?" Natataranta kong tanong habang lumilingon sa kanilang dalawa. My mother, whose beside me hugs me so tightly while sobbing. Nadali narin ako sa iyak niya. Who wouldn't be? Wala na akong matatawag na pamilya.
A mother will always be the strongest but also the weakest.
"P-Paumanhin, anak." She croaks out. My eyes closed as tears started streaming down my face. Alex stood up and sat down between us and embraces us.
Where's Dad? Bakit ganito? Bakit sa pamilya ko pa?
Madaming tanong ang dumadaan sa aking isipan na hindi ko mahanapan ng sagot. After bawling my eyes out. I hug them even tighter than before. Hindi ko malalaman na baka huling yakap na pala ito. When we pulled away, my mother kisses my forehead.
"As much as we both wanted to take you with us, your father won't let us do that," Paliwanag niya habang namamasa parin ang kaniyang mga mata. Seeing my own mother cry is the most painful sight ever.
My lips purse, I nodded and look at her with unshed tears in my eyes. "P-Please, ma. Wag mo akong kakalimutan," I pleaded.
She smiles sadly. "Why would I ever forget my princess?"
I sob and got beside her again and hug her even tighter. My mother, has always been my bestfriend and saying good bye was never easy.
"Hey," Cai called out to me. I look at him and he smiles reassuringly.
"You will still see us. Pupunta din naman ako dito paminsan-minsan para sayo eh," he said. I nodded and smiled back at him. I know he'll do that, but it will never be the same.
"Aelin, I will visit you often. Okay?"
Hearing of what she had said made me feel upset. I know that she'll be busy on her job as a Pilot and an owner of airline and airport, and will never have a time to visit me.
I nodded. Marahang hinawakan ni mama ang kamay ko at hinalikan ang aking nuo.
"I'll see you when I see you, my daughter," she said.
"See you..." I smiled sadly.
Pagkatapos niyang sabihin ang mga salitang iyon ay nagsimula na silang lumabas ni kuya. I immediately controlled my tears and fakely smiled ad their car drove out of the house.
Just as fast as a lightning, my smile vanished and my heart broke into tiny pieces. Hindi ako makahinga. Noticing that the maids are staring at me, I instantly bowed my head to cover my face with my hair and sprinted my way upstairs. Locking the door, laying down on the bed face first and scream on the top of my lungs.
"Why?! Why me?!" My chest started hurting that made me clutch it hard. Bakit ganoon? Bakit sa pamilya ko pa? Why?
What happened?
Questions after questions came through my mind as I finally fell asleep. The next few hours was a torture. Nagising akong hinihingal at walang lumalabas sa aking ingay kundi ang luha ko lamang ang tumutulo mula sa aking nga mata. I went in and out of sleep. Hanggang sa nakarating na ako sa umaga. I don't have any plan to get out of this room.
I just want to be alone.
Hindi ko na maintindihan ang mga nararandaman ko. Hindi ko alam kung aning dapat kong maramdaman. Should I get hysterical and cause a havoc? Should I cry? Should I scream? Should I laugh like nothings wrong? What should I feel?
I feel so numb yet I also don't,because right after I got up. My head started to hurt and it started to ring like its gonna make my brain burst in any moment now. Sa sobrang sakit ay napaupo ako sa sakit na nakakahibang and before I knew it. I passed out.
When I woke up, I am inside a white room that smells like medicine. My nose crunched in irritation. I would always wake up in a hospital room every time I pass out. I let out a sigh and at the same time. My father, Craige is currently wearing a business suit is walking inside beside a doctor. I immediately close my eyes and pretended to be asleep.
When the both of them stopped in my left side, I can feel the Doctor checking my vital signs.
He lets out a sigh. "It happened again."
"What?" My father asks worriedly.
"Based on her symptoms, the results came out and I can only say that she has a Dissociative Amnesia," the Doctor started, "She fainted because her brain refused to accept the pain, stress and trauma that she's feeling, that's why she fainted," he explained.
"What? That also happened when she was in middle school," my father said in disbelief.
"The brain protects her from too much trauma and stress, resulting to forgetting the event afterwards." the Doctor explained further. Nabuo ang katahimikan ng ilang oras bago iyon binasag ni papa.
"What can I do to help her?"
"You can't help her, but she can. Its her brain after all." the Doctor shrugs.
My father let's out a breath. "I mean, how can I help her, help herself?"
"You should take her to a psychologist but the problem is we are short on that. I mean, pwede mo rin siyang dalhin sa ibang bansa na mas makalidad," the Doctor suggested.
My father sighs. "Okay." Hindi ko namalayan na nakatulog na pala ako pagkatapos ni papa magsalita.
When I woke up again, my mother was on my side and so does my brother. My eyebrow furrowed at them. Kahit masakit ang ulo ko ay dahan dahan kong inabit ang mga ulo nila sa gilid ko na natutulog.
"M-Ma? Kuya...?" I croak out, my voice dry from not drinking a water since I woke up. I keep calling them until they both woke up and hug me.
Mom suddenly cries, "Sorry, anak."
"Bakit ka nagsosorry, ma? Kuya? Bakit nagsosorry ang Mama?" Lingon ko sa kuya ko habang nagsasalubong ang mga kilay ko.
He licked his lips and looks at me sadly, "Dadalhin ka ni Dad sa San Francisco."
Ano? Dahil lang sa nangyari sakin, dadalhin niya kaagad ako sa ibang bansa? Was having a broken family recently, isn't enough? Magkakalayuan naman kami ng kuya at mama?
My heart nearly bursts out of my chest. Akala ko suhestiyon lang iyon ng doktor, I sigh and tighten my lips together.
"Hindi naman siguro ako magtatagal." I shrug and smiled at them. My mother's lips started to tremble but that didn't stop her smile.
"Yes, darling. We'll see you again, kaya magpagaling ka kaagad ha?"
I turn towards my brother. "Totoo ba 'yon, kuya?" He nodded, patting my head.
"Go ahead and rest, we'll see each other soon."
But that was not what happened. Hindi ko inaasahang matagal pa ang pagkikita namin. Hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko, wala na akong laban sa lahat nang ito. I don't know what to think and feel anymore. I got used to my happy and complete family and suddenly that was all gone from the moment I woke up.
Totoo nga na hindi mo alam kung kailan matatapos ang isang bagay. That's why you should cherish every moment of it because in some time, that will suddenly vanish in a blink of an eye.
"Hindi ako papayag! Ayoko! Bitawan mo ako! Gusto ko nang mawala!" Sigaw ko habang pumupumiglas sa mga nurse at mga doctor na pinapakalma ako. The Doctor told me that I will stay at Californa for more than a year. They lied to me!
"Ang hina na ba ng paningin niyo sa akin para itago niyo ako sa katotohanan?!" I shouted. "Pwes, ayaw ko na kayong makita!"
I glared at the two of them as my bed is being assisted for my transfer to California. Until, a nurse injected me with something that made me stop moving as I slowly got inside a dark place.
"Take care, mi hija." I succumbed to darkness. My heart got so stuffy and I can feel it beating on my chest and all over the place that I'm in. Lahat ng bagay may katapusan. I would never have thought that I would be broken before I could even start healing myself.