We stayed silent for awkwardly long minutes after what Mom said, and I just had to stay respectful and start acting like an adult. I held her hand and said…
"Mom… I thank both you and Dad for the financial needs that you have given us. Thank you for giving me more than what we need. Chuna hadn't experienced much yet, and I don't know if she could remember, but believe me, all the expensive toys and luxurious things, bodyguards, nannies, and everything that supported my childhood and school. I know that you were just doing what you think is right and what's best for me. I know you just can't wait for Chuna to experience all that as well… But please hear me, that is not what Chuna needs. I have experienced it all already, and I know that it won't be good for her as well. The best thing of having it all financially is that I started not needing anybody anymore and the worst thing about it is figuring out everything to myself, because people see the same, that I don't need anybody. I can't say I love you so much Mom, but I respect you. I'm sorry if you think that I'm walking away from you, and I'm taking Chuna with me. But you're forcing everything again. I don't want you to take Chuna away from me like what you did to my nanny who I was so attached with before. Chuna is very important to me and I don't want her to live alone." I saw mom was about to say something in her defense, but I cut her,
"All my life I let her talk. This time, it's my turn"
"… Mom, I know you never left me alone. But you are not there to guide me personally. I know it sounds like a spoiled brat that I don't appreciate anything that you have given me. But please find it in your heart that I never asked for anything ever since. It's just Chuna, don't take her away from me. I promise I will work hard for both of us. And you really don't have to worry about grandma, she's safer with us around than any stranger out there. I'm almost 18, mom. If you want, you can stop supporting us. I can work for us…"
"Big words, but I have to be stern or my mom's strong personality will not waver."
Then Grandma added something.
"Stella, honey. You really don't have to worry about us much. You can come visit anytime. But you don't have to change anything. I know your Dad wouldn't want that either." Grandma said with conviction. Mom coughed a little to start talking again, but now, I think she understood.
"Okay, do whatever you want. Mom said it to the both of us." She looked at me
"But you are going to college. And I will continue to support you financially. If you need money, I will give it to you. You don't have to work for yourself and Chuna until you finish college. Don't overwork yourself from taking care of your grandma and sister. At least to that part let me be your guardian. Then, you mom…" She looked at Grandma.
"I will try to visit you more often and don't depend on Jun so much" Grandma smiled.
"No, honey. Jun is the best caregiver out here, and he loves us, me and your dad unconditionally, I can tell. Whatever happens, you're still her mother and his actions will still reflect on you. He's a smart, dependable child and be proud of him. Having Jun and Chuna live with us is the best gift you have given us" Mom stopped commenting and just grabbed Grandma from me.
"Okay fine, let's go to your appointment…" I stood there a bit surprised but…
"Jun, child. Get your grandma's bag, we might run late" and with just that my heart felt lighter.
I didn't stop taking care of Chuna, we grew up together. I didn't stop working though mom said that she wanted me to focus on my studies and take care of Chuna and Grandma on the side. I just needed security and thought that I had to earn a lot if I really wanted to show our parents that I could take care of the people I love in my own way but with my presence and not just financially. I try to balance everything. I just wanted to stay in Chuna's life until she was ready to stand and walk in her own life.
It's been a year since Grandpa died, I tried my best not to leave Chuna with Grandma so much. She even started 1st grade. So, she's out for about 6 hours on weekdays too. Sometimes, I ask Aunt Jane to look after the house if Chuna is getting out of hand. But we don't really have much to say to Chuna. She's intelligent in her own way.
I can see Chuna can carry responsibility, she's patient and does her best to do what she is told, and she stays quiet if grandma is resting. She plays with her if Grandma is awake. Our routine became like this. After I made breakfast, Chuna and I prepared for school. I dropped her off in the morning at her school, then Grandma picked her up in the afternoon, and then I went through my day as well.
Whatever reason or how busy I am, I see to it that I get home by dinner. I try to prepare it myself but sometimes, even if it's still a little bit early, Grandma and Chuna have made dinner already.
Grandma teaches Chuna everything, and she's too diligent to do it on her own. It's all about bathroom routines, fixing the bed, staying clean, and gardening. Even so, I'm amazed how Chuna could actually absorb all that. Plus, she's learning a lot from school.
At the dinner table, she talks about how her day went. Grandma teaches us to talk to each other every day because that's how Grandpa and Grandma do it to strengthen and never lose the bond, just talk.
"And that's the only thing that worries me about Chuna." She didn't talk much until she was told to. I don't see her upset like other kids do.
Sometimes I see scratches on her, but it's already clean and when I ask grandma about it, she doesn't know anything about it either. Then, we would ask her, she would just shrug and say
"I'm okay, I just tripped"