"Uh, what?" Alex said, dumbfounded.
"Your soul. You know, the little thing inside that makes you, you? That thing," Ludos said.
"What do you want my soul for?" Alex said, still confused.
"Well, actually, I'd like your soul to play games with me for eternity as kindred lovers of games, but that was supposed to be a joke. I don't want your soul. I was just messing with you," Ludos said.
"You want to be kindred lovers?" Alex said, messing with her this time.
"I didn't say that!" Ludos protested.
"Yeah you did," Alex said.
"Ok, I did, but I didn't mean it like that!" Ludos said.
"Got you," Alex winked.
"You bastard!" Ludos laughed, pushing Alex.
"So how do we do this? Is there a character creation screen or something?" Alex asked.
"Actually, I came up with something way more fun. I call them the character creation wheels!" With a flourish of her hands, a series of different sized prize wheels appeared next to Ludos.
One of them had character traits, another had classes, feats, skills, and so on.
"Wait, so I'm just supposed to spin up a character randomly?" Alex said.
"That's the idea, yeah," Ludos said.
"Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of an rpg game? Players are supposed to have agency over their characters and choices." Alex said.
"Yeah, I guess you're right," Ludos said, her shoulders sagging in disappointment.
"Hey, we can still use the wheels to choose my character details. I just need to move them deliberately, rather than just spinning them," Alex said.
Alex walked over to the class wheel and started turning it, inspecting the various class options. "Warrior, Rogue, Mage, Bard, Paladin, Monk, Druid, Ranger..." He paused, squinting at the next few options. "Wait, what? Chef? Pancake Flipper? Apprentice? Apprentice of what?"
"Haven't you always said games should have more class options?" Ludos said.
"Yeah, but I didn't mean it to be this specific," Alex replied. Then his eyes caught on something. "Oh wait, Psion? Like psychic powers?"
"Yep," Ludos said, grinning.
"Ok, I take it back. More class options is always better. Psion would be perfect against those telepathic aliens," Alex said. "So I got a class. Hey, why isn't there a race/species wheel?"
"Fate said she didn't want to alienate any of the cosmic spectators. Having you be anything other than human might make you less relatable," Ludos said.
"Cosmic spectators?" Alex asked.
"There are people who want to see how your story plays out and it's very important to keep them interested, because if they lose interest, this universe ceases to exist."
"Well then I guess I better keep them entertained." Alex shuddered at the thought of ceasing to exist because people stopped looking at you.
"Try not to think too hard about it. It just means you have to stay human. That's all," Ludos said.
"I guess that's not so bad," Alex said. "Ok, what's next, traits?"
"Yes!" Ludos said.
Alex started turning the Traits wheel looking at the options. "Better Loot, 25% Faster Experience, Instant Recovery, Efficient Crafting. I need something that will add up to big gains over time."
Alex slowly spun through the options, not seeing anything that stuck out to him, until he did. "Skill Creation, and Always Prepared. Hmm. Both of those seem powerful, but the Skill Creation feels way stronger. But always being able to pull something out of your ass is so funny. Hmm. I gotta go with Skill Creation. That's just too good to pass up. Ok, Skill Creation it is. Feats next?"
"Yep." Ludos said.
Alex spun the wheel, "Animal companion, single skill boost, attack type resistance, overcharge a skill or ability, get to pick a second trait! Interesting. I'll take that, thank you very much. And then I'll choose Always Prepared. It'll let me pull out an item or knowledge that I need in any given situation as if I prepared for it in advance."
"Yeah, so like locked door? Lockpicks. Fire? Fire extinguisher. Security code? Oh I got it from a security guard when I got him drunk at a bar. Etc." Ludos added.
"Love that. So all we have left are stats and skills," Alex said.
"Do you want numbered stats, graded stats, or named stats?" Ludos asked.
"Named stats. Actually why don't we just skip that and go named levels." Alex said.
"Sounds good. That way you never hit a cap and have to start making shit up. And you don't have to keep track of individual stats." Ludos said.
"Exactly," Alex said.
"You're starting at the bottom," Ludos said.
"Obviously. What are we calling it?" Alex said.
"Noob," Ludos said.
"How on the nose," Alex said.
"I call it like I see it," Ludos said, crossing her arms.
"What are the levels after that? So I know what I'm shooting for," Alex said.
"Meh, Not Bad, and Pretty Good. It goes up from there, but you'll have to play to find out," Ludos stuck her tongue out at Alex.
"So it's like that, huh? Ok, I'm game. Skills now?" Alex said.
"Skills," Ludos said, nodding.
Alex walked over to the skills wheel. "How many can I choose?"
"Three," Ludos said.
"Ok, I choose telepathy, telekinesis, and technopathy."
"Great!" Ludos said.
"Before we finish, how does skill creation work?" Alex asked.
"Well you can either combine class skills into a specific use or you can start with a base skill and create a sub-skill underneath it. You always need at least one base skill. And base skills can be created skills, but you can't make skills out of nothing," Ludos said.
"How do I get new class skills?" Alex asked.
"When you progress to a new named level, like from noob to meh, you can choose more class skills," Ludos said.
"Nice," Alex said. "Is that it?"
"Pretty much," Ludos said.
Alex felt relieved and anxious. Relieved that the hard part, character creation, was over, but anxious to get out and fight.
Alex looked around. The other chosen people seemed to still be choosing their gods. "It looks like it'll be a while before everyone's ready. Do you want to play a game?"
Ludos' eyes lit up. "I always want to play a game! What do you want to play?"
"What about Super Bash Bros?" Alex said.
"I love Bash!" Ludos replied.
With a flourish of her hand, a TV and game system showed up out of nowhere, complete with controllers, a couch, and surround sound system. Super Bash Bros was showing on the TV.
Alex grabbed a controller and sat down on the comfy couch. Ludos grabbed a controller and jumped on the couch, settling into a cross legged position. And then they played Bash and time seemed to disappear.