Chapter 4: Saving the World in 10 Easy Steps
"Why are you losing?" Alex said as he destroyed Ludos in a game of Super Bash Bros. She was down to one life at 300% damage.
"I thought boys hated it when girls beat them at video games," Ludos said.
"You're hardly a girl, but aside from that, are you throwing the match?" Alex said.
Ludos stopped playing and turned to look at Alex. "Excuse me? If I'm not a girl, then what am I?"
"A lady?" Alex said, fear in his eyes.
"Good save," Ludos said, resuming play. "Are you saying you want me to turn it on?"
"If by 'turn it on' you mean actually try, then yes. I want you to try. There's nothing fun about an empty victory," Alex said.
"Ok, but remember, you asked for this," Ludos said.
"Come on. You can't possibly win with one life at over 400% damage. I still have all my lives. Maybe you can win the next match, but not this one," Alex said, like an idiot.
Ludos sighed. She teched as her character hit the ground to put distance between her and Alex. Then she spent the next 5 minutes taking him apart piece by piece, life by life. After she finished him off, he sat there slack jawed, completely shocked at what just happened.
"How. In the hell. Did you. Do that?" Alex said. "You used moves I've never even seen before. And the moves I did know, you used in ways I never expected you could. That was incredible!"
"So you're not a sore loser?" Ludos said. "I'm impressed. I like a man who can take a beating." She nudged Alex with her elbow.
"We're in a business relationship. We should keep it professional. What do they say? Never put your foot where your mouth is. Wait, never put your mouth on your business. That's not it. Never…" Alex trailed off, having confused himself.
"It's never shit where you eat, doofus. And you're adorkable too. Awww." Ludos pretended to swoon.
"Aren't you like twelve?" Alex said as he held her up, not buying her swooning act for a second.
"Just because I'm short does not make me a loli! I'm a full-figured adult woman, thank you very much!" Ludos said as she folded her arms, accentuating her chest. As she did so, she lost her balance and fell forward onto Alex.
"I can't breathe!" Alex said.
"Oh, shut up! We're in Olympus. You don't need to breathe." Ludos said as she struggled to get off of Alex.
A rush of wind whooshed by as Hermes ran up to the couch and saw Ludos and Alex entangled on it.
"Uh, when you're done smashing your tits into his face, could you come gather with the rest of us? Everyone's ready to go," Hermes said.
"It's not what it looks like!" Ludos said.
"What she said," Alex said, his voice muffled.
Hermes was already gone.
"If it makes you feel any better, I don't actually think you're a loli," Alex said.
"Not now," Ludos said.
When they had finished untangling themselves, Ludos and Alex made their way over to the rest of the group.
All the chosen were standing around their god of choice. Some gods had a lot more followers than others, but none of them had just one. Except Ludos.
Hermes separated everyone into strike teams until they had eight teams of five. Alex was in group 8. His team formed up around him, and everyone introduced themselves.
First, there was Sophia Katsaros. She carried an air of authority about her. She was a military strategist, having served three tours of duty. Naturally, she had chosen Athena.
Then there was Bjorn Thorsson. The hulking Scandinavian had been a professional wrestler and stuntman before all this. He'd chosen Thor.
Aisha Nasser was next to introduce herself. Alex got a sense of calm competence from the former ER doctor. She'd chosen to align herself with Isis, the Egyptian goddess of magic and life.
Last was Chester "Chet" Rodriguez. He was a wiry guy whose quick eyes darted between everyone, and he couldn't stop his hands from fidgeting. He called himself a "former acquisitions specialist," which Alex took as code for thief. Chet had picked Hermes as his patron deity.
With a blast of air, Hermes appeared in front of the group. "Hey Chet, my man! Feeling good, right?"
"Feeling great, brother!" Chet said.
"That's great to hear! Gather up everyone, cuz I'm about to give you the lowdown on your mission." Hermes explained that they were attacking an alien scouting outpost located in a pocket dimension above Earth.
The aliens were using it to make strategic decisions for the invasion. Their job was to extract any data housed in the facility and then destroy it. Alex was in charge of extracting the data due to his technopathy ability.
With that, another rush of wind, and Hermes was gone. On to talk to another team.
Hephaestus, the god of the forge, approached with bags of gear, distributing winter combat clothes, advanced radios, and circular "extraction devices" with clear covers. "If yours gets destroyed or lost, just hold onto someone else when they use theirs," he explained.
Alex turned the device over in his hand, noticing intricate runes etched into the back. Aisha carefully tucked the extraction device into a secure pocket, while Chet twirled it between his fingers like a coin.
Sophia checked her gear for fit. Bjorn flexed and shifted in his clothes to make sure he had good range of motion.
"Alright, you're going to press the button on the extraction devices once to send you there and once to get back." Hephaestus said.
"Press them now, and they'll send you where you need to go," Chet pressed his and disappeared. "But wait until everyone is ready to press all at the same time, or you'll end up in different places." Hephaestus, face palmed. "This is going to be a disaster."
"Wait, wait, wait!" Sophia said, but Bjorn had already pressed his and disappeared as well.
Alex was about to press his, but Sophia put her hand up and stopped him and Aisha. "We go at the count of three. One, two,"
"On three? Or one, two, three, go?" Alex interrupted.
"Three." Sophia said and disappeared, as did Aisha.
"I guess it was on three," Alex said to himself, and pressed the button.
Alex appeared ten feet in the air. Unprepared, he fell backwards, his hands flailing out to catch himself. The extraction device flew from his grasp, disappearing into the snow.
"Shit!" Alex exclaimed, frantically scanning the ground. The device was gone, lost in the endless white. His heart raced as he looked around, the realization hitting him like a punch to the gut. He was completely alone in this alien world, without his team or his way back home.