Chapter 51: Dark Thoughts
Day of the battle
Felmina
We've been here for 7 days already, I feel gross, I need a shower.
It shouldn't be long now.
It's really hard to do anything in the dark, going to the bathroom for example and eating, but it's as quiet as can be, we where ordered to be silent until we see the signal.
My husband sure is smart. The silence fells a bit uncomfortable, but this is still better than hell week.
I lied to him about my reasons for wanting to fight.
Over this past week I've had a lot of time to think.
Since we came back to Vincent I've felt a bit useless, that's why I felt like I should outdo Roka, at least in battle.
She doesn't seem to care all that much, which makes me act even more competitive. Despite my husband's reassurances, I feel inadequate.
Roka's a genius, I can tell that's what he likes about her.
In the end he went after Roka and I went after him so...
He accepted the both of us, but even though I've made myself useful by managing the Moonlight district while he and Roka where off doing as they please, I can't shake this uneasy feeling.
Roka has her intellect to fall back on, as for me, what do I have...
The advice he gave me when we came back from commander Gary was invaluable.
After that once I made up my mind to have my hair cut, I was a nervous wreck waiting for him to return. I thought he wouldn't like the new look, even though he suggested it.
I know he told me to have it cut and I know he promised to love me no matter what, but I feel this tightness in my chest from anxiety.
When he dragged me to bed that night. Yes, he dragged me for a change.
I felt my anxiety lift a bit.
After we where done having sex, I laid there in his arms and asked him why the sudden urge.
He answered 'That haircut made me see a new side of you. It's wild and I love that kind of thing'.
It blew all my doubts as far away as the east from the west.
I love him, Oh god do I love him. I lay there in his arms, I was content for the first time in a while. Come to think of it, the only other time he initiated sex with me was that day I gave those girls from the former Masters corporation a death glare as a warning.
I see now he likes wild girls, I think I'll play up that trait of mine from now on, but only in private, In public I can't seem unladylike and embarrass my husband.
I love him after all.
He's intelligent too, not its the same type of intellect as Roka though, he gives the things he finds interesting his best effort.
He really cares about Roka and myself.
Most of the dents in the wall back at the lab in Vincent where made by him, once he figured out the gravity suit, he explained it as carefully as he could without getting too technical. Even I could keep up for the most part. How considerate.
He broke his knees calibrating the suit, sparing us.
Even then I felt like I wanted to be more reliable. So when the chance came along for training pioneered by him, I jumped at it.
Hell week was the worst, just as he said.
Thursday night when we got 2 hours of sleep, I reached my limit. It was the point of extreme exhaustion he mentioned.
I asked myself 'Why am I here?' I saw Ryu's smiling face and Roka behind him. I got this intense sense of pride.
My answer was. 'This is something I can do that Roka can't, I need this, I need to be able to help my husband in a dire situation. If any of our lives ever become endangered I need him to know he can count on me'.
That helped carry me through till the end.
The lights flicked on.
That's the signal.
It interrupted my train of thought.
We all knew we would be moving today so we are ready.
This is one of the 2 predug holes the covert corps use for supplying their agents with fresh horses.
We modified the lights in this place to be turned on from the outside.
This place can now house about 1000 after we modified it. It's conveniently almost directly behind enemy troops. The other holes can house about 1500, there are 12 of them in total.
This one has a long drop toilet at least. I'm sure Ryu had something to do with this but I'm with about half of The Kaijuu Bears that he had trained.
The rest are Beastmen forces, mainly women.
I believe the longdrop toilet had something to do with it.
The newly dug holes the rest of the beastmen army inhabit and used this past week didn't have that luxury as far as I can tell at least.
We open the doors and pour outside and assemble.
We attack.
We encounter the rear guard first
There are beastmen from the other holes joining us in the attack.
The enemy's rear guard can't hold us back, we outnumber them.
We slaughter everyone we can find.
Next is their support troops, they shouldn't be armed. That doesn't change what we need to do.
We kill all of them.
They are the enemy. Orders are orders.
I'm covered in blood by the time the last man screams.
We where ordered to capture all supplies for re use. We succeeded.
We had about 40 minutes of rest when the first panicked soldier made his way over the low hill.
We hid the bodies as best we could, but cleaning the blood was impossible.
When more fleeing enemy soldiers became visible, we resumed our attack.
I don't think we lost anyone, at least I didn't witness any casualties.
18 000 beastmen and about 500 Kaijuu bears attacked as one, cutting down fleeing enemies as they came.
It takes us a grand total of 23 minutes to kill them all.
I'm tired.
I walk up the low hill back toward the main army and the tower.
Ah! I spot the tower from a the hill.
I notice the black spot on top.
I wave and then stop when I realize he obviously can't see me from this distance.
I whistle hard. The whistles start repeating one after another spreading like fire among the bears.
All of us, me included start heading toward the tower.
As we walk we start spreading out.
If we find survivors, we kill them.
No Mercy.
We arrive at the foot of the tower.
Ryu's there.
"Well done. Tonight we feast. The day after tomorrow we march. Spread the word."
We all put our hand in the air and cheer.
He locks his eyes on me.
I start running toward him with my gravity suit still on. It's been on all day. It's been turned on since before the batt-- I mean slaughter.
I only realize when about 18 women from my unit in the bears try and stop me, most of them are beastkin like me.
Cindy leans over:
"You need a bath first"
I look at myself and realize I'm still covered in blood and guts.
She was one of the reasons I made it through hell week.
She kept saying things like 'If you don't make it and Kaijuu-sama leaves you, I'll gladly take your place'.
I hated it so much it gave me energy.
I only realized what she did after Hell week was over, when I could think straight again.
During hell week I wanted to punch her so many times I lost count.
However there was the fact that if you used violence against anyone during training, even accidently, you would be escorted off and forced to ring the bell ending your training.
We girls had a rinse in the reservoirs, clothes and all.
Damn this water is cold. It must be that huge wall of Ice, It's like 8 to 9 meters tall.
I had a proper warm bath in my husband's tent before the feast, I bet Cindy would be jealous.