"I swear, I should throw both of you into my snake pit."
Furious fox Daji lifts Sun Wukong, who's trying to keep a stoic expression on his rubbery monkey lips. Odin has already marched his boys off to read Thor a godly Riot Act and to make sure that Loki doesn't trick his way out of this sticky situation.
Daji carries Sun Wukong to the elevator, and I follow, stupidly.
This happened on my watch. Sun Wukong just lies still in her arms, stunning, his eyes staring up at the ceiling. Puffs of air from his rubbery lips tell me he's breathing.
Can you even kill a near-immortal monkey who's survived everything his enemies have thrown at him? He has "fiery-eyes-golden-gaze" and can see evil. He has a charm to protect him from fire, which means he and Fuxi probably don't have much of a problem. He also has a Charm of Water Avoidance, and oh yes, those 72 Transformations where he can shapeshift into any form.
Daji and I head to the Infirmary, where Dr. Pius is just finishing up with a patient. "Who do I need to bring back from the dead?" he asks, tongue in cheek.
I belatedly realize, seeing the staff with snakes wrapped around it that he carries, that "Pius" is none other than the mythical Greek figure Asclepius.
How did I miss so much, all this time?
"We have a Greek god as our staff physician?" I ask. "I thought Zeus killed you because he feared you'd make us all live forever."
A concept that's not so foreign given that I've been dosed with the Fountain of Youth myself.
Shaggy-haired and bearded, wearing a toga that bares his chest, Pius is like an old country doctor who always smells of peppermint. "That's the story Apollo told him. I've been in hiding for centuries. Athena knows I'm here, but she thinks Zeus was totally unreasonable, and she owes Apollo a favor. Besides, I haven't made all men immortal yet. I'm not sure, giving the modern would, that I could. Honestly, if you mortals would eat right, exercise, stop gluing yourself to those machines…"
Daji gives me a withering look. "He thinks life is one of his video game apps."
The remark stings. I look away and see Thor, Odin, and Loki amble in to see how Sun Wukong is. For gods, they look like scolded little boys. Even Odin's shoulders slump, as if he knows he's carried the hijinks too far. Erlang is nowhere to be seen. I've heard of air-weather friends, but this is ridiculous. I'll have to have a talk with him.
"How is he?" Odin asks. Two ravens perch on his shoulder, Huginn and Muninn. Probably watching to see that he doesn't overstep again.
That reminds me … I should really make sure we have an aviary for the mythical birds. Not just Huginn and Muninn, the ravens of legend, but others. Even bird-creatures like Kinnaris, Tengu, and others. They need a place to soar, indoors. I'm sure that they own the sky above the inn. No drones, no government worrying about them invading our airspace, nothing. If anyone happens to see them through the illusion around this place, maybe they get mistaken for weather balloons or skydivers or eagles.
Pius responds calmly, putting some sort of fancy device on Sun Wukong's skull. It looks like something out of an old sci-fi movie. Covered in crystals, it glitters with energy and shine. "The trauma to his cranium was quite bad, but nothing compared to what American football players get. He's a god, not a mortal."
"Even gods get wounded." Daji seethes, glaring at me, and at everyone in the room.
That's probably why Erlang is nowhere to be seen. The wrath of Daji is legendary. And now, she's my mate, not just my secretary. She's co-owner of this hotel.
This is what I was afraid of. Afraid of making her angry. Of giving her control of this hotel. But it's my family's hotel.
"DAJI." I put on my best CEO Face. "They're here to make amends."
"They should be banned—"
I don't want to have it out with her now. I look to Odin for some help. A centuries-old god should be able to calm her! He's got the Valkyries, his daughters, who sing Wagnerian arias. Maybe they don't. I should ask him later.
Odin smells of something I can't name. It's not Old Spice. If it is, it's Really Old Viking Spice. He pulls out a flask of something, and I don't think it's booze. He places it to Sun Wukong's lips, and the monkey king instinctively swallows whatever it is. His smile lights up the room. "That's so good, Odin One-Eye."
Odin snorts. "I owed you a little taste of Asgardian Ale … mixed with magic. That is something the Marvel movies got right."
Daji scratches him. "Getting my uncle drunk? THAT'S your solution?"
I pull her out of the infirmary faster than you can say "Ragnarok". I strongarm her into one of the conference rooms that has a spinning wizard-like orb sitting on the table. Probably so the gods can watch whatever stupid human tricks we get up to.
"Daji," I begin. "You are now my co-owner and business partner. And my mate. But that doesn't mean you're going to walk all over me. You wanted me to claim you, right? To be the strong, worthy consort. So, that's what I'll be."
Her smell, which I can detect in a way I didn't before, is definitely defensive. Walls-up defensive. Especially if those walls are made of steel. "Good. Then you can tell Odin—"
"He's trying to make amends, and I doubt it'll happen again, because if it does, he'll be going after my family. I know he values this inn and the relationship Asgard has with this inn. Where else can they come and be themselves? And I'm sorry if things got out of hand, but I am not the one who decided to start another fight while we were away. Don't ever belittle me in front of our guests or the staff. Your sassy remarks were cute when you were my secretary, but not now. We're partners."
I pause to let her process this.
"He was HURT."
"And it isn't the first time."
Her eyes flash. "How can you say that?"
"Because it's history! Mythology. Literature. It's even anime." Mockingly, I add, "He's even a video game character … and so are you." I touch the orb, and it shows the video game version of Daji, shooting enemies with a "love spell" and rendering them unconscious. Her tiny digital avatar is adorable.
Daji growls. "Turn. That. Off."
"Why? Because you're a gamer geek icon?"
"Your point showing me this idiocy?"
"Your nephew, whom you're treating like he's five, is a legend! There's a whole epic full of events where he goes through ten times worse."
"It didn't even capture the reality," she says with a shudder. "He's like my child. You don't know what that's like."
No, I don't. I don't even have siblings.
"I can't imagine him being locked in an eight-way trigram crucible for forty-nine days … even if he stole the Pills of Immortality. I can't imagine what you went through. But he's tough. He got through it, got redeemed, and has whole Chinese operas and traveling shows that portray his life. He'll be fine," I say gently. "He's got the best medical care in the galaxy. Or galaxies. Or multiverse. He has us … his family. I'll look after him."
"Sentimental mortal. You've been watching too many Hallmark movies."
I snort. "First I'm all about video games, then Hallmark movies."
She barks with laughter. "Why do you always quote my words back to me?"
I cup her chin. "You're a goddess, but I'm your boss. And I know I'm new to this. I feel like Percy Jackson when he discovered his teacher was a Greek hag, or Harry Potter when Hagrid appeared. But I'm learning fast. I will be the best owner and manager this hotel has ever seen, but I need my mate and partner to back me up. Do we have a deal?"