I opened my eyes and felt that something was not right. I couldn't feel my dick. I should've known it was a bad sign right away, but I dismissed it.
I couldn't quite feel my body; it felt hard, not soft. Did I fall asleep with the jacket again? I swore my vision was blurry. I saw what seemed like a bug's leg, but it wasn't. I saw not one, but 4 legs: 4 bug legs moving around. Of all the bad hangovers I had, this one takes the can. For the first time, I'm considering quitting drinking… Nah, I'll never quit.
These damn legs go there and there; it's so odd. Minutes pass and still they move around. I can't really feel my body or my legs. Damn it, something is wrong with my body. How much alcohol did I consume last night?
A morbid thought occurs to me.
I try to move my leg to the direction I want it. I tried to go left; two bug legs went left. I went right with my right leg, and the bug legs went right.
I have become a bug.
FOR FUCK'S SAKE, HELP, HELP! SOMEONE HELP ME, ANYBODY THERE, HEY, HEY! I swear I screamed at the top of my damn lungs, but I didn't hear the sound of my own voice. I can make out every word inside my head, but my voice won't come out.
Oh fucking hell. In these types of situations, I would hear my heartbeat as I get terrified, but I didn't hear my heart this time. Do bugs have hearts? They don't have lungs, I'm sure. The air flows differently; it's like there are tubes inside of me. God, I really need a drink. I just… just get up, drink some beer, and you'll figure something out.
I wiggle my legs. I try to close my eyes, but nothing. I'm forced to see the damn legs. I shift as much of my weight as I can to the right side. I fall out of bed and land on my feet.
I walk around strangely; I can't walk normally. I see the apartment a bit low down, basically if I crouched down, that's the vision I see. I walk to my mirror; I fucking can't put into words how hard I screamed.
Hours passed as I looked at the wall. I'm too scared to look at myself. I remember seeing antennae, a green body, a disgusting and appalling face with those big bug eyes. I caught myself how I moved. For a second, I thought I was an alien. I can't stop thinking about it.
Dammit just go! Go to the fridge and drink some beer.
Then I'm stopped by a massive shoe.
I'm somehow still alive. Am I a ghost?
I see a large man with a beer belly. He drinks cans and cans of beer, throwing them to the floor. I see him take out the trash; he has a special bag just for the beer. The man drinks 23 beer cans a day. I watch him constantly; whenever I try to escape, there's an invisible barrier blocking my path. I see this man drink his beer for days, months, years.