Hwa Sa slowly strolling along the road towards The Blue House. She just came back from the Gold House after finished her duty. The party was held not for long, but to clean up everything, that's time consuming.
She flinched a bit while walking wobbling towards the main door. Looks like everyone was in bed by now. No one would stay up late unnecessarily, as the weather was in a good temperature to sleep. As she pushed the main door with her remaining energy, she jumped a bit as she saw a figure, standing at the middle of the house's open air foyer, glancing at her.
"Gongju..." Hwa Sa whispered as she looked at Myung Yu. The princess was in her white robe, bare face with no accessories on her head.
"Manora jaga, why are you coming home so late?" asked Myung Yu. Her eyes dim in the moonlight, looking at Hwa Sa with a sharp, deep gaze.
"I-" Hwa Sa failed to answer Myung Yu immediately. She slowly scoot closer like an obedient kid, looking at the princess with her gloomy eyes.
"Just go inside and have a sleep..." Myung Yu sighed as she knew there's no way Hwa Sa will uttered anything to her about the incident at the party. Royal business tend to be a secret within the royal family, and to debate about it outside the palace, it's inappropriate.
As Hwa Sa tried to climb the stair, her face crinkled as the pain on her legs killed her out of blue. Myung Yu quickly grabbed Hwa Sa's shoulder before she slammed herself on the stairs and made things even worst.
"Are you okay, manora?" Myung Yu quickly asked Hwa Sa. The little crown princess nodded, but her face screamed something else.
Myung Yu softly flipped Hwa Sa's long skirt and gasped in disbelief. There were red streaks at the back part of her shin, not one, not two, but multiple fine lines that tarnish Hwa Sa's fair skin. Those streaks happen to be on both of her legs.
Myung Yu was familiar with the streak. She used to give that to any of her court maid who made a serious mistakes or small petty crimes like stealing and fighting.
"Is it because of that tea?"
Hwa Sa refused to answer. She looked down, holding her tears from falling onto the ground.
"Manora jaga, answer me..." Myung Yu's voice went deep as she started to get angry. But, no matter how it was, Hwa Sa remained stoic.
"Hwa Sa!" Myung Yu jad enough of her cousin's silence. Hwa Sa whimpered a bit, her fingers rolling the fabric of her hanbok's sleeves.
"Gisa Ahn, bring manora jaga inside..." Myung Yu stood up, glancing at Uk, who was already at the beginning silently stood at the frame door, guarding the princess. He slowly descended the stairs, lifting Hwa Sa's small body before went inside, with Myung Yu closely following them from behind.
***
Hwa Sa shrieked once the medicated cotton touched her skin. She held the pain like a true hero, while Myung Yu almost rubbing of the streak with anger still boiling inside.
"I can't believe you left everything behind just to be treated like a slave! Are you this desperate to be Sejabin, huh?" Myung Yu scolded Hwa Sa out of rage. The Crown Princess might be a bit older than her, plus she is THE Crown Princess, but Myung Yu never cared about that facts anymore. She knew Hwa Sa since they were babies, and for her to scold this sweet lady, that was nothing new.
"It's not about the title. I don't care about it at all..." finally, after several minor tortures from Myung Yu, Hwa Sa opened up. She looked at her cousin, who straighten up her body while tossed away the cotton at the tray, before she dismissed her court maid out of room, leaving Hwa Sa and Myung Yu alone. As usual, Uk was there. But, he only could watched them.
"Why did you received the proposal, manora-"
"Please... Stop calling me that!"
"I have to. You are the sejabin..."
"Calling me sejabin only adding more pressure in me, cousin. I had enough of them. I really want someone to treat me like a normal person," said Hwa Sa.
Uk looked at her. The demure and elegant lady she is! Nothing was lacked from her as sejabin. But, inside, she was broken, in pieces with no one cared to listen to her cry.
Hwa Sa reminded Uk of Min Jun, when they first met each other. Lonely, waiting to die in silence. The difference that apart them was, Min Jun tried to live a life of his own. But, Hwa Sa chose to be a people pleaser.
"Hwa Sa, are you in love with Mushim seja?" Myung Yu asked her directly. She was trying to put pieces of puzzles in her mind of how Hwa Sa easily accepted the proposal.
"Jeoha mama... I do love him. But, not as much as sejabin jaga..."
"You mean, Hwa Young?"
"No one could replace Hwa Young. I mean, even I, her twin couldn't be as good as her. She was a true fighter, a great omonim, also a respectful sejabin. When she passed away, half of my soul followed her. I can't do anything without her," said Hwa Sa. "When they told me I was going to replace her, I was so ashamed of myself. I know, I'll never be as good as her, let alone surpass Hwa Young," she continued as she kept her eyes down, looking at her reflection on the surface of the black marble table.
"Then, why didn't you reject the proposal?" asked Myung Yu.
Hwa Sa slowly shifting her gaze at Myung Yu. Her eyes look glassy as her lips rattle softly.
"I almost did. Once I heard the decision was made, I decided to go to the Silver House. I want to convince jeoha mama to revoke the proposal..."
***
Hwa Sa POV
I couldn't sleep, thinking about the sudden decision made by my family. I knew they decide only the best for me. After Yang died during the war, I can't open my heart to be in love again. My love for Yang was too great! But, it might already took half of my life, and that's what makes my parents concern about me.
Yet, I don't think it's a good idea for me to marry my brother-in law! How can I live with him, knowing that the man only loved Hwa Young for the rest of his life? I wonder why they never think about his feelings! I know, I am Hwa Young's twin. We are paternal twin, so we basically look like each other. But, Hwa Young is Hwa Young.
And I am who I am.
I move faster towards the Silver House. I have to speak up to sejabin about this ridiculous idea! I want to live freely, I don't want to stuck in an emotion that didn't belong to me! Although I did admit that I have a crush on jeoha mama, but this is not what I want for my life.
"Why the baby keeps crying?! It's noisy!"
My feet stopped when I heard a voice coming out of the main room of the Silver House.
"Wangbi mama, perhaps she misses her mother..."
"Her mother is dead! Don't be ridiculous! She just a baby! She feels nothing!"
"She might feel something, mama... she had been with manora jaga almost everytime... she might need a touch from her mother..."
"I don't want to hear that! Do something about it, or I'll bury her alive, next to manora jaga's grave!"
The banter ripped my heart from my body. How could wangbi mama treated her grand daughter like this?! She's just a baby who knew nothing rather than missing her mother!
In hasty, I storm into the room, surprised everyone with my appearance, including wangbi mama. Without a question, I took gongju agissi from the court nanny and storm out from the room. Gongju slowly gets cozy in my embrace while I escape myself out from the Silver House, back to my house.
Whilst arrive at the Blue House, I asked the court maid to prepare some warm goat milk for gongju. I put her on my bed, took off her thick clothes so she could have some room to wiggle. While waiting for the milk, I stare at gongju jaga. Her face, her feature, reminded me of Hwa Young.
"You must feel suffocated in that house..." Suddenly those words slid from my mouth. Knowing the truth behind those words, I shut my eyes tight. Those weren't for a one year old baby, but for Hwa Young who I knew all too well on how she felt after all these years.
She probably never said anything, that's who she was. But, I could feel her desperation, even without her talking about it directly to anyone.
Once the milk arrived, I fed gongju jaga carefully. Our eyes lock to each other and at instant, I felt like looking at Hwa Young. Sadness flooding inside as I silently cried. She just a baby, but she already mistreated by the royal family who believed in the patriarchy power.
"How will you face your future soon, agissi? You were treated wrong by your own family, just because you're a girl..." I talk to gongju agissi as if the baby understand my words. She stared at me with her cute face, something that I couldn't even resisted.
Thinking about her condition, my heart churn a bit. No one can save this poor soul from the biased treatment. Even seja might not being able to do so. What if he decides to marry a wrong woman?
What will happen to gongju agissi?
***
"I'm doing this for her. I couldn't imagine how her life with turn out if she gets another woman as her mother. I want to be the person who protect her from those people. Those who never appreciate our existence."
Hwa Sa's retaliation made Myung Yu halted. She was overwhelmed with Hwa Sa's selfless decision for the sake of the future generations. She never expected this from Hwa Sa. She only thought that Hwa Sa wanted to marry Mushim out of love.
Yes, Hwa Sa accepted the proposal out of love, but not for Mushim. She did it for Mi Rae.
"Gongju jaga, you're lucky to have Wang Ki jeonha mama as your father. I can see how much he loves his children. Jeonha never treated you differently. You got all the things you want. But, that's not what happened here in the North Kingdom. A woman like me is useless! We are nothing but a slave for men, a token for power. We have nothing like you have back home, gongju jaga..." Hwa Sa grabbed Myung Yu's hand, while tears rolling from her eyes in silence.
"Manora jaga... Don't say that! You're important to everyone. Especially gongju agissi."
"That's why I accept the proposal, gongju jaga. If I can't be a good sejabin like Hwa Young, at least, I want to be a good mother for gongju agissi. I want to protect her and teach her a valuable lesson, so one day, she will be strong and brave enough to upstand herself among those men around her..."
Hwa Sa couldn't finished her words when Myung Yu strongly pulled her body into her arms. She hugged her cousin, patting her back with Hwa Sa cried her eyes out on her shoulder. Myung Yu hugged her cousin tight, feeling mixed with emotion from those conversations that they have.
"You're the most selfless human being I ever met in my life. You're not fit to be a sejabin. You better be an angel instead!" said Myung Yu, causing Hwa Sa to chuckle a bit before wiping the tears from her eyes.
"Cousin, do you know that I have to die before becoming an angel?" Hwa Sa drew a smile, teasing Myung Yu for her words. The princess smacked her shoulder jokingly while pulled Hwa Sa again in her embrace.