The first day of school, the day where all new students reach a new level in their lives. The same goes for those who have graduated, this month is their first step to live in society and adapt to real life.
However, I'm still in school, 3 more years. Maybe I'll be able to graduate and start living life seriously, that is if nothing strange happens.
As I looked at the wide-open school gate welcoming the new students, I sighed and looked around.
"Hey Will!" Beatrice shouted, running towards me in her new school uniform.
I wasn't too surprised by her uniform, as it was similar to mine, making me sure that Beatrice had the same school as me.
The new student welcoming ceremony will be held in the school hall soon. But going to the hall too early will only make me bored, so I chose to enjoy the view of the school gate and the beautiful school building. Even in front of the gate, I was greeted by the view of the garden and a statue shaped like a book with butterflies fluttering around it.
It's no wonder that a top school has facilities like this. It is even said that this school has a computer class that will be taught to all students in turn every week.
I don't regret paying dearly to go to school here. Especially since half the cost is my own money.
Honestly, I wanted to pay in full, but my father insisted on paying too. It's really annoying having a father's pride, but I don't hate him.
"Hey Will! Why are you ignoring me!" Beatrice said, having calmed herself down from being out of breath.
"I'm not ignoring you, it's just that the scenery is so beautiful."
"What? There's a beautiful girl in front of you now, and you choose to look at this weird school gate? Besides, why is there a weird writing like that there? It's tacky!"
Beatrice didn't realize that she was mocking her own school. Moreover, everyone around her was looking at her.
"Beako... We're in public, you should pay attention to how you talk."
"Let it be, I don't care."
"If you're like that, everyone will hate you."
"From the start, I had no intention of making friends with anyone. Or... Will you hate me too?"
"Yes, of course," I answered without hesitation.
"Ehhh? If that's the case, I'll be careful from now on..."
"Why not from the beginning?"
"I-it... B-because I thought you liked cheerful girls..."
I was a little surprised, because this time Beatrice really gave me a direct hint without hesitation.
But I didn't understand if she really meant it or it was just friendship. Doubts made me overthink more and I ended up running away like before by saying, "Let's go in, the welcoming ceremony will start soon."
"O-oh yes! You're right! Let's go in!" she said nervously, her anxiety was very obvious on her face, but I didn't understand why.
"Maybe it's okay to go to the auditorium sooner than I planned...," I thought.
Because of that incident, I had to be stuck for 10 minutes in the hall with Beatrice who had been looking enthusiastic since the beginning. She kept talking non-stop, while I just listened passively.
The students were supposed to enter in the last few minutes. But now there are some students sitting separately around me.
Some may be quiet students and don't have friends. But some are escorts sent by Beatrice's father.
It was obvious that some people often looked at us who were chatting. There were feelings of envy, anger, discomfort, or curiosity.
They seemed to be surprised by a beautiful girl like Beatrice talking to an ordinary guy like me. Honestly, they're not wrong, I'm curious about that too.
I'm sure Beatrice did it because of guilt, but I hope I'm wrong.
Beatrice is the first person who can make me doubt myself.
The longer our relationship, the stronger my fear of betrayal.
It's better if I don't know the truth, anyway, I don't expect anything from her. I'm just afraid that the Beatrice in my head is different from the real Beatrice. I'm afraid it's all just acting. That's why I'm silent, and the longer we have a relationship, the stronger that fear becomes over time.
But deep down I hate our current situation and I hate our relationship that looks beautiful but feels fake.
I was about to take action to solve this haunting problem. But seeing her smile that looked so happy made me give up my intention. I'm afraid of hurting the feelings of someone who might be sincere from the beginning.
"I hope I'm just mistaken about her feelings," I kept thinking this way just to calm myself down. But before I get a definite answer, I realize that I will still be haunted by this dilemma.
The new student welcome has been completed after 1 hour. And the next event is to introduce yourself in front of the class.
Some people introduced themselves cheerfully, I immediately thought that they were seeking attention. But maybe their personalities are like that from the beginning.
But humans are creatures who judge everything in one glance, So am I. But it doesn't mean that what I think first is what I believe, because I believe that a human cannot be recognized in just a few moments. This is just a time for me to get to know everyone in my class well.
Out of all the people in the class of 36 students, there was 1 girl named Alice who was nervous and made me interested.
She was the only one who looked very nervous when she introduced herself. Although the others also looked nervous, they still tried to look calm so as not to be ashamed. But this shy girl couldn't even speak properly. Requiring her close friend who sat next to her to help her introduce herself to the others.
I hope that girl can adapt quickly and not be bullied.
After that we went home, because the first day there was no lesson at all.
Honestly, I feel that this welcoming ceremony is not important. I even thought about not coming in today.
But Maria before i go too school, she forced me by begging while showing a pitiful face and said, "Please, brother, make friends at your new school! Maria is very sad because her brother doesn't have any friends at all."
I couldn't possibly refuse after I was faced with her face that looked very sad. Even though I know it's just acting, at least I know her feelings at that moment when she said it were genuine.
But it seems like I failed, I'm not the type of person who will make topics out of thin air. I can't do that, because that's not me.
I was definitely going to do that in middle high school and make a lot of friends. But what I got back then was fake friends. I don't need fake things in my life. Especially if it's obtained by becoming my fake self.