Viora was looking through the car window, many cars flashing past her eyes. They were riding a taxi to their first destination of the day. Mama Ipoh was sitting right next to her.
Mama Ipoh then said while adjusting her sunglasses:
"I'm kinda surprised that you chose the aquarium... to be honest, I never liked zoos or anything that keeps animals trapped."
Viora then took a glance at her and smiled gently.
"I agree as well... I suppose I just wanted to visit one at least once in my life. Are you disappointed?"
Mama Ipoh shook her head.
"I can never be disappointed in you, sugar. One of the first things I told you when we first met is that I don't force my beliefs on others. So who am I to judge if you like going to an aquarium?"
She said this while looking out the window on her side of the car.
"You are always so understanding and nice with me..."
She thought she said it to herself, but it was loud enough for Mama Ipoh to hear her.
"You think so? I think you should start being nicer to yourself..."
Viora didn't say anything in response to Mama Ipoh's words. They both just stared out the taxi window, sitting in silence.
***
About twenty minutes later, they reached the aquarium. They stepped out of the car and walked toward it, hearing the taxi driving away behind them.
They reached the entrance and paid for their tickets. The lady at the front greeted them with a smile and said,
"Here are your tickets. Enjoy your visit!"
They walked inside, and Viora could see multiple shades of blue glowing from the tanks.
So I finally got to come to this place after all, she thought to herself as she and Mama Ipoh walked deeper into the building.
"I must admit, keeping such animals trapped every day must not be an easy task," Mama Ipoh said as she held out her hand to the glass, looking at one of the tanks. There were multiple tiger sharks swimming, their bodies reflected by the tank's blue light.
They could hear the subtle hum of the water filtration system.
Why am I feeling so down since we made our way here? Didn't I say I wanted to come here? It's my birthday, and I'm acting so silly…
She then gave a smile and nodded to Mama Ipoh.
"I think so as well… I wonder how much they eat?"
Mama Ipoh, still looking at the glass, the tank's blue light reflecting on her face, said:
"Well, even though I'm a retired shaman, I'm not an animal expert, sugar, but I think they eat at least as much as they can… kinda like you, sugar."
Viora's face turned a little red as she blushed and looked at her.
"Did you just say that I eat a lot? I do not! How silly of you for saying that… very silly…"
Mama Ipoh stared at her for a couple of moments and then said with a smile:
"You really like that word, sugar. The word 'silly.' You weren't using it as much a year ago…"
Viora, still blushing, replied softly:
"I just think it's a cute word…"
Mama Ipoh patted Viora on the head and said warmly:
"I think it's a cute word as well."
As they walked to the next tank, they continued their conversation.
"But you also use the word 'sugar' as much as I say 'silly,' Mama Ipoh," Viora said.
Mama Ipoh replied, the light of the tank reflecting on her black sunglasses,
"It's because 'sugar' is a cute way of calling those we love… Should I stop calling you sugar?"
Viora looked away, her voice soft as she said,
"I would prefer that you continue calling me sugar…"
Mama Ipoh giggled gently and said,
"Alright, sugar."
Viora stared at them with a somber expression on her face. Mama Ipoh, who had been watching the jellyfish with close attention, glanced at her and said,
"You're looking pretty sad for a birthday girl…"
Viora, still staring at the tank, her pale face reflecting the soft blue glow of the water, sighed and said,
"I don't know why I chose this place, to be honest… and I also don't know why I'm feeling this way on my birthday."
Mama Ipoh turned to her with a gentle smile, her single golden tooth catching the tank's blue light as she replied,
"You know, when you're troubled by what you're feeling, talking to your loved ones—or just someone who'll try to understand—might help you, you know? So… do you want to talk about it?"
Viora didn't respond for a couple of seconds. Finally, in a low voice, she answered,
"Yes."
Inside the tank, they could see multiple jellyfish forming a small, gentle pack together. It was as though they had swum straight out of a fairy tale.
"I wanted to come to this place because… it was my past foster parent's job," Viora said softly. "She told me she used to work at an aquarium. It wasn't this one, but I just… I wanted to visit one at least once."
Mama Ipoh said nothing, deciding to just listen for now.
"Before I met you, she was probably the nicest foster parent I ever had," Viora continued. "She promised me once that she'd take me to the aquarium. She said the fish there would be the most beautiful I'd ever seen."
She let out a small, bittersweet giggle as she added,
"She said that like I met beautiful fish on a regular basis. But, like always… like how it always happened… she told me she'd never stop loving me. And yet, for reasons I still don't understand, we couldn't see each other anymore. So, of course, she didn't keep her promise."
Viora placed her hand against the glass, staring intently at the jellyfish.
"My birthdays were always strange," she began softly. "I always ended up spending them with different people. Sometimes… they weren't celebrated at all. Every time I changed foster parents, I'd ask myself—will they still be my foster parents by my next birthday?"
Her gaze shifted to a single jellyfish drifting away from the larger group, alone.
"Because that's how quickly I was abandoned," she continued, her voice cracking slightly. "I'd stay with them for a few months—or, in rare cases, a year or two. 'Welcome to the family, Viora!' they'd say. Lies."
Her hand trembled against the glass, something Mama Ipoh noticed, though she remained silent, letting Viora speak.
"'Say hello to your older sister,' they'd introduce me to their real child. 'You can call us Mama and Papa,' they'd tell me. Sweet, empty words. 'Make yourself comfortable because this is your home.' But then… they'd throw me away, and I'd never see them or that so-called 'home' again."
Tears began rolling down Viora's cheeks as she fixated on the lone jellyfish.
"Birthday after birthday… if I celebrated them at all, it was with people who fed me lies. And when I couldn't, I only remembered how lonely I was."
Her voice trembled as her face flushed red with emotion.
"And now, I'm forced to remember that no matter how many sweet lies they told me, I never had a place to call home to begin with. I never had someone to call Mama… or Papa. No matter where I go or what they said to me, I was—and will always be—alone. I've been left behind since the moment I was born. It's always been that way…"
Viora turned to Mama Ipoh, her teary eyes searching for something—anything—her voice trembling as she spoke.
"So… I guess I did want to visit a place like this at least once in my life," she said softly, "but maybe… maybe I really came here so her empty words wouldn't feel empty anymore."
Her hands shook as she hesitated, but then, unable to hold back, she asked:
"So… I know you already gave me your answer a year ago, but—will you abandon me like all of them did?"
Mama Ipoh's voice dropped to a low, steady tone. "Viora…"
"Will you feed me empty lies?" Viora pressed on, as though trying to release years of suppressed fears.
"Viora…" Mama Ipoh repeated gently, but Viora didn't stop.
"Will you make me watch the place you called my home disappear from the back of a car window as I'm taken somewhere else—so that I'll never see you again?"
"Viora—"
She couldn't hold back anymore. Tears spilled down her cheeks as a sob wracked her body. Clutching her chest tightly, her voice broke:
"Will you stop seeing me as your daughter? Or—did you never see me that way to begin with—?"
"Sugar!"
Before Viora could finish, Mama Ipoh pulled her into a tight embrace, holding her so close that Viora could feel the steady, reassuring beat of Mama Ipoh's heart.
"Sugar," Mama Ipoh whispered, her voice trembling with emotion but filled with unshakable resolve. "For as long as I live—no, even beyond that—I will never feed you lies. You will always have a home to come back to. Always. You'll never have to leave it behind again."
Viora's sobs filled the quiet space, muffled against Mama Ipoh's chest.
"I will always see you as my daughter," Mama Ipoh said softly. "And that will never change."
Viora continued to cry into Mama Ipoh's chest, her sobs heavy and unrelenting. She couldn't stop, as if years of loneliness were pouring out all at once. Without realizing it, her arms reached up on their own, wrapping tightly around Mama Ipoh's back.
She held on as though afraid to let go, and in return, Mama Ipoh's arms stayed firm around her, the warmth and strength of her embrace a silent reassurance. Viora could feel Mama Ipoh's steady breath and the comforting rhythm of her heartbeat, grounding her in the moment.
For the first time in a long time, Viora let herself believe: I'm not alone.
chapter thirty-one end