Chereads / the shaman way / Chapter 32 - There Is One Thing That Every Soul Seeks... It's Happiness

Chapter 32 - There Is One Thing That Every Soul Seeks... It's Happiness

Three hours or so after the hug, they eventually made their way to a barbershop. Viora had decided she wanted to color her hair. She chose to dye part of it purple, resulting in her hair now being a mix of purple and black.

As they exited the barbershop, Mama Ipoh looked at Viora with a smile and said,

"It was a great idea to dye your hair, sugar. You look great with purple!"

She spoke while making a phone call to order a taxi for their third destination of the day.

Viora ran her hand slightly through her hair, which moved with the breeze, and replied with a gentle smile,

"Right? I think it looks good on me."

They stood together for several minutes in silence before Viora eventually spoke in a low voice,

"I'm sorry..."

Mama Ipoh glanced at her, confusion clear on her face.

"Sorry for what?"

Viora looked down at the ground and murmured,

"It was my birthday, and I still broke down crying... and I even questioned your love for me. That's why I said I was sorry."

Mama Ipoh let out a giggle and said,

"Damn, sometimes I wonder if you're even a kid. You've matured so much in just one year... or were you always like this? But to be honest, sugar, you really don't need to be sorry. In fact, I should apologize for not noticing your somber mood sooner."

Viora looked at her, her voice neutral, and replied,

"I don't think I've matured... I think I was always like this. I'm just like any other kid my age; I'm still naïve. I just have a lot more stuff to think about than the rest..."

Mama Ipoh nodded in approval.

"You can be a child and still have a clear idea about right or wrong... about your fears and past trauma. I think sometimes I forget that. But I do believe you've changed since a year ago. You were more childish back then—not that it was a bad thing, sugar. I just think you have more insight into your own feelings now than you did before.

"You didn't do anything wrong by mentioning your insecurities and fears."

Viora's hair flowed in the wind, a dance of black and purple, as she quietly said, "You're always so nice to me..."

Mama Ipoh smiled softly, patting her head. "Like I've said before, sugar, you need to start being nicer to yourself. You've never had anything truly lasting, and every time happiness comes your way, it seems to slip right out of your hands."

"I know that all too well. When people experience great pain, they stop trying to enjoy happiness because they're scared—scared that the pain will be even worse if they lose that happiness again. But what's the point of never seeking joy just because you fear the pain that might follow? That's no way to live, sugar. You drown yourself in your own worst fears, and all you're left with is a life full of misery and hurt."

"Happiness might not last forever... but pain doesn't either. Nothing in this world does."

She paused, the black lenses of her sunglasses catching and reflecting the light of passing cars as they stood side by side on the sidewalk, waiting for the taxi to arrive.

Mama Ipoh smiled gently as she continued, "One year ago, you told me you were weak for running away. And now, here you are apologizing for expressing your emotions, as if it's a crime to feel, and as if you don't deserve kindness. Sugar, do you remember what I told you back then?"

Viora watched the cars pass by, her voice steady and filled with certainty. "I remember that day as if the sun hasn't set yet. You told me it wasn't weak to run away—that I didn't do anything wrong by leaving a place that made my spirit suffer. You said it was okay not to want misery and to seek happiness instead… but you also told me that running away could only carry me so far."

Viora then looked at her and said, "I still don't fully understand what you meant by 'seeking another path to happiness.' At first, when you introduced me to shamans, I thought I'd become one just because I could see spirits. But… over this past year of being with you, I started thinking that being a shaman might be its own kind of path to happiness."

Mama Ipoh looked up at the vast blue sky and said, "Being a shaman is definitely a path to understanding… But happiness? I'm not so sure. Funny, isn't it? I've probably spent my whole life as a shaman, and I still don't know if it's brought me more happiness or tragedy in the end. One thing's clear though—being a shaman is a heavy burden."

She paused for a moment before continuing, her voice softer yet filled with conviction.

"When I was younger, the older folk always said, 'Live life the way you want, so you won't carry regrets to your deathbed—or the afterlife.' I never understood it back then, but once I awakened my spiritual sensitivity, I saw why. There's nothing more heartbreaking than seeing a spirit weighed down by regret."

Her sunglasses reflected the passing clouds as she spoke, her tone steady.

"You start to understand why seeking a good life matters. You also realize how important it is to be kind to others. You've seen people with dead eyes, haven't you? Eyes so full of despair you wonder if they're even alive—like war veterans who return home but leave pieces of themselves behind. Now, imagine that… but ten times worse when it comes to spirits. Some of them lived lives full of pain and regret, and now they wander, lost, still clinging to 'what could have been.'"

She sighed deeply, the weight of her words palpable.

"It's a terrible burden, witnessing those scenes as a young apprentice shaman. But it taught me something—it taught me that I never want to be the reason someone can't move on in their soul's cycle. I never want to carry that kind of guilt."

she then sigh and said in a low voice:

"but there is also some kind of pride to being a shaman so if you think being a shaman might make you find happiness then go for it sugar..have no regret.."

Viora didn't say anything else. She simply held her chest and thought, I hope I will… as long as you're holding my hand.

chapter thirty-two end