Chapter 72 - The Dark Fate
Alice stared at the horizon.
"I want to discover what she saw, what my mother uncovered. I want to know what truth was so cruel. My mother wasn't foolish; she got where she did because she had to play their game to save our country. Do you really think money moves the world today? No, it's them. What is money worth nowadays? If the world ran out of water, would you sell your canteen?"
"Never," Luke replied without hesitation.
"That's what moves the world: resources. The chaos caused by problems and crises has made those who control the resources the true kings. For my mother to have inherited the title of... queen..."
She really is a princess!? She was a princess on Earth.
"For her to have decided to carry that title, she had to play the game of the powerful. She bowed her head when ordered, raised it when asked... and kneeled if commanded. That was the real weight of being a queen. It's not making the people bow to you; it's bowing for your people. To keep our country prosperous and out of crisis, she had to accept the burden of certain truths, understanding things she shouldn't. She never took out her frustrations on anyone. But the more she discovered, the more she understood that the world wasn't so simple. What I told you about resources, I saw her live through it. She saw countries fall because they didn't kneel, and in the end, she didn't kneel and met her fate. My mother saw something greater... and paid the price."
Luke had to ask, even if it was insensitive.
"How do you know your mother died? Sorry to be blunt, but you said you never saw her again after that night when she mentioned the moons."
"Oh, I lied to you... I did see her one more time…"
"Should I ask about that? Or would you rather not say?"
"No, maybe you'll find out anyway when we return. My mother's fate was simple. What happens to heretics, Luke? She was blamed for attracting the great serpent. The official statement was that the queen had contacted whispering entities for power. The price for gaining power was sacrificing her people... the story was something like that. In the end, she was blamed for bringing the serpent. The people... homeless, hungry, desperate, and scared found a source to direct all their hatred. They laughed at the woman who once ruled them when they learned she had died. I had a private burial with some distant relatives from the Oblique World, but they weren't my family. My family... was my mother. Do you think I'm wrong for feeling this way?"
Alice looked at Luke.
"No..."
"Because of this family, I am part of the nobility of the Oblique World. That's the truth about my life. I have nothing to hide; this is all I am and all I have left. I want to discover the truth about my mother. That's who I am... just me. I have no one, even though I'm surrounded by people."
She fell silent for a moment.
"Why did you tell me these things?"
Luke was confused; she had revealed her biggest secret.
'Would you tell someone your biggest secret?' That's what she asked us that time, and here she just did.
"I don't know, Luke. Maybe I'll die soon if those Drowned suddenly appear, maybe tomorrow. I just know that... I had never told anyone this. But maybe knowing I might die made me want someone else to know the truth. That my mother... wasn't a heretic."
With that, the blonde girl got up and lay down next to Anna, saying, "I don't know what past you had, but I think I can say that... I recognize another like me."
Alice turned and then went to sleep.
Staring at the horizon and the shallow sea, Luke felt conflicted. He felt lost in the deepest void of his being. He believed everyone should keep their own secrets, as a person's secret was their personal identity. Luke's secret was a past he had buried deep within himself, but here was someone who had unearthed everything for him. Luke felt like a traitor because he didn't have the courage to open up to Alice. He had promised himself never to tell anyone about the things he lived through and discovered, but now someone had shared something so intimate with him... it made him feel like a fool.
Looking at the two girls, he began to feel like the wrong one in the group. The red-haired girl always wore a cheerful mask, hoping to hide the fear and worries that plagued her. She always joked, pretending to be silly, but in reality, she might be the most mature. She understood that her two friends were broken and decided to be their pillar. Luke felt like trash; these two people revealed things to him... but he didn't have the courage to reveal anything.
Am I the wrong one? I'm sorry, I was a fool. But I can't... I can't open up. I can't do it, I'm not ready. Am I trash? I don't know... can she forgive me? Should I have supported her more? What should I have done? I don't know, I've never had this kind of conversation with another human being. What should I have said? Should I have responded with something? Should I have given a hug? Should I have lied? What should I have done? I don't know how to react. Is it wrong to continue not talking about myself? Should I talk about myself? Should I unearth what I buried deep down? I don't know... I've never felt this way. I'm ashamed because I won't say anything. I know I'm trash, but I don't have the courage to unearth those things. I emptied myself of feelings to feel nothing, but why am I now confused about my decision?
Staring at the horizon, it seemed the universe reflected Luke's confusion. Drops of rain began to fall faster and faster. Looking up, there was a large cloud, and on the horizon, a storm was coming.
Turning back and looking at the sleeping girls, he ordered his scarf ends to form a roof to protect them.
When did I become so sentimental? When did I start to change? When did I start to laugh at simple things? When did I start to feel... less empty?
Reflecting on the journey so far, he tried to evaluate and calculate all his situations. Luke discovered that feelings can't be calculated, that feelings can't be quantified like data, that feelings can't be measured. At some point, they were created.
Looking up, a drop fell from his eyes. But Luke didn't want to find out if it was a tear or a drop from the heavy rain.
I need to return to Earth; there's a person I should see... there's a person I need to see. I've already decided; I will see that person... I need to see them. In the end, I don't want to sit on an empty throne in a room where only I remain.
Looking back, he saw the two girls sleeping soundly, protected by a fabric roof.
I also need to get them to safety... to somehow understand what I'm feeling.
He laughed at himself.
I think I'm entrusting the key to my cell to these people... but why do I feel like I'm not making a mistake?